Hi all,

I haven't been here for a while again, as am busy with my life. But I do read every other way some of the best posts like by Vera, etc. for inspiration.

I had to come today as something has shifted in me I believe.

Some two weeks ago I sent the email to my guy, dont know why and it was out of the blue. I wrote here about it, it made me more laugh at myself than anything else really.
I havent checked that email since to see if he replied or not.

Not out of fear if he did and what he said. i know he always replies happily if i say something. But I somehow after that realized I dont care any more and have the feelings still.

But how do I know there was a shift in me?

I see the evidence in my everyday life. Lately there are people coming out of everywhere wanting to be with me but so much that its funny.

I dont feel worried that my guy will not return and i stopped to care when and how and I think that was the last what I needed. For a long time I though i didnt care but that wasnt the truth, now I see that its only now that I truly dont care. maybe cause I know he will. So its not that I would give up or anything like that. i stopped to do all the visualizing and only what I do every few days if I feel like is the short version of the Laines method as its fun for me and I do it only as a fun, I dont expect anything.

And ...

I get invitations for dinners and the looks from guys who are in the cafe next to me, in the whirpool, sauna, spa, random guys. i dont look at them, do anything to draw attention, just the opposite.

Even though I know I am a pretty girl and always was I never had so much attention. And my past boyfriends used to tell me how it always took them some courage and some time to ask me a single word as they thought I wasnt open to talk to them or I was too high for them to reach such a girl, etc.

Those guy approaching me are actually nice guys and I do notice them prior them saying anything and feel their desperation to talk to me or sa

I agree, I am also less and less in here, havent been here for a couple of days, one reason is i feel i dont need it every day t be here, and also i am quite busy with work plus told myself i want to break in general, just to do what i love and read and so on, just to have fun with myself more :-)

I dont know what happened to me today, I felt somehow good and felt like breaking the silence, dont know why as i m never the one saying something
but i just sent him message just asking general how is he
but at the same time felt like maybe that is not what i want, basically i was half-half
half telling me so what just say hi, nothing else, the other part wasnt sure
now i feel like ok you have done it so what but at the same time feel like i should have left it on him and dont be the first one
anyway now am trying to just forget about me sending it, i a m bit tipsy now, have to say that i was so unsure after that, that had some drinks out just to forget about that

what do you think?
i guess when i feel any doubt i wasnt suppose to send it right?
anyway i told myself that its done, and either he will say something nice, or neutral, or negative or nothing

who cares right :-)
it will not make any difference :-ú

then i told myself: how would you feel if he was again crazy about you and all was fine, would you think about if it was ok or not send some silly message? no you would care really

and if you didnt care about him what so ever, again, you wouldnt care if he replies or not and how and so on

right? so i guess its fine :-)
just suprised me, i went swimming and the whole day kept asking myself what exciting will happen next, and then after pool i again asked so what is the next exciting thing? and then suddenly i sent a message :-)

in a way as i am a bit tipsy i have to really laugh at myself as i feel silly, but this funnily silly you know when you have fun with your actions :-)

just wanted to share with you my silliness :-)

thank you so much for putting this post up here and inspiring us to keep believing and knowing we are back with our loves, thank you
it means a lot to me, especially today :-)

lately mornings are a bit harder than I would like to but today it took me a while to get back to normal
first I didnt want to write anything about it as yesterday I read what cherished said and I fully agreed plus i feel not that great and then few hours later I am back on track so I thought I will somehow get back up
today I really felt like missing him terribly, really like a lot and it took me much longer than I would like to get back to my normal self I would say
anyway then I started to realize something again, it is a game, its the Universe trying me, trying if I am ready
few years back we split only physically not emotionally and the separation was suppose to last only few months but for some reason, i didn't believe that will happen and instead of feeling grateful that we are still together emotionally just not holding each other in our arms for a while, i went to depression, i just couldn't take him not being here, i was feeling the whole in my heart so much that i couldn't climb back up and see the positive of that, that we were still a couple, just living far from each other and not being able to see each other for many months
today, i realized it is a game, it is a trial for me, as i failed those years back


so today I was thinking if only i manage that what I failed years back, that is it, it will be there till I conquer it, till I find the inner strength to do it once and for all and believe that it is there

it is a bit frightening in a ways as if I failed so many times, one thinks like what if i fail again and again
but on the other hand it is freeing feeling as there is this light at the end of the tunnel
and that is nice :-)

what do you think about that?
i would be grateful for your insights :-)