lately mornings are a bit harder than I would like to but today it took me a while to get back to normal
first I didnt want to write anything about it as yesterday I read what cherished said and I fully agreed plus i feel not that great and then few hours later I am back on track so I thought I will somehow get back up
today I really felt like missing him terribly, really like a lot and it took me much longer than I would like to get back to my normal self I would say
anyway then I started to realize something again, it is a game, its the Universe trying me, trying if I am ready
few years back we split only physically not emotionally and the separation was suppose to last only few months but for some reason, i didn't believe that will happen and instead of feeling grateful that we are still together emotionally just not holding each other in our arms for a while, i went to depression, i just couldn't take him not being here, i was feeling the whole in my heart so much that i couldn't climb back up and see the positive of that, that we were still a couple, just living far from each other and not being able to see each other for many months
today, i realized it is a game, it is a trial for me, as i failed those years back


so today I was thinking if only i manage that what I failed years back, that is it, it will be there till I conquer it, till I find the inner strength to do it once and for all and believe that it is there

it is a bit frightening in a ways as if I failed so many times, one thinks like what if i fail again and again
but on the other hand it is freeing feeling as there is this light at the end of the tunnel
and that is nice :-)

what do you think about that?
i would be grateful for your insights :-)