PrettyFlamingo wrote:

It's breadcrumbing (I've learned it has a name) - they do it to keep people on the back burner. As to why, or how to change it, I don't know. It is weird.

Hmm. I never considered that. Almost negative in a way not positive at all. Here I thought oh how sweet but now I see it is manipulation.

I CANNOT believe it. So for weeks he has avoided me and has not even given me a clue why!

I've been for at least two weeks more positive...I have a routine now that helps motivate my mood.

What I did differently was make time for God/universe more intensely.

Meaning..after listening to Neville's We are God's audio..I really took that in. I mean why not. If we trust we are infinite beings born/created of an infinite being, why not act like it.

So every night I got a white candle wrote my name, his, my kid on it, rubbed honey and sugar on it and lite it. I meditated while it burned to kundalini awakening videos, angels self Love videos, Gabrielle Gonzales heart energy (I did that one EVERYDAY) or and meditation that was to address my insecurities of not being good enough and sending him or anyone I've hurt love. I did this until the candle burned out or until I was so tired I'd fall over. I never slept doing it I wanted my intent conscious.

Then I started seeing differences everywhere but with him...lol...someone suggested it was the birds before land theory. I said ok to myself keep going. I'd have intense conversation with him...trusting I was becoming telepathic and instead of crying and sulking I'd tell him my true thoughts..I'm gorgeous, I'm not disposable, me and my kid deserves a man who fights for us, I'm sorry if I pushed you away, I was more than happy you were here, I told him HE was enough, we are a team, he isn't alone in his struggling, that I will move on but wish him well, I will not be single and pine for him, he should always know I love him, I pray he finds happiness if it was not with me and my kid and id end it with, you'll always be in my heart and thank you for being in my life.

Last night I did a new meditation. I carved our names in the candle this time with my kids name and did the honey, sugar and cinnamon on it. I did a meditation for me to meet my soul mate or have a better relationship. I did that one for the entire hour! But I felt

Ok so today is day 23 on the challenge and I had been asking for a sign. My 3 year old was my sign.

She said "mommy did you apologize for being a big baby to Mr. Kiss.?"

After tilting my head a bit, I realized that I haven't heard from him because I WAS WRONG. In all the years we've been in each other's lives I've rarely heard him tell me no. And most recently when we began dating again, I was so consumed wih my happiness, I neglected the fact that his plate was too full and yet I still "acted like a big baby" as my kid said..and wanted more.

I NEED to tell him. Not because I think itll change his mind from me being a high maintenance brat but because I'm grateful for what he could do and sorry I didn't show my gratitude.

Guys I tried calling this am but it went straight to voicemail. I gotta say it. Tell him. I'm so beyond emotions that the wait is killing me. It's the best feeling ive had all this time. Knowing im going to do the right thing to someone I genuinely love. And not to get him back..but just because it's the right thing to do!

Ok I like this thinking. I see the number 29 always everyday and Texas license plates and i live in Maryland. I've always wanted to live in Houston and the number 29 in angel numbers means ending or final...so I got all nervous.

But after his text I was really shocked. Our last talk he flat out was like I can't do it. Too many factors that prevents us being together...so when he said he loved me too and I never said it first I was tripping. That night I kept hearing "are you mad at me baby" and " I wanna talk to you" and I have random conversation with him.bur I'm too chicken too make the first move. I did the beg thing and over bearing don't leave speech so after weeks or no contact I surly didn't think he'd reply.

Thank you for putting me back on track. I'm even dreaming about thia man now..I truly miss my fat man. And I cannot wait until he is home AGAIN...even my daughter misses him. She talks more about him than she does her dad...so my baby visualized him too. We tag teaming over here and she is 3!...I believe our success story is coming

This was a good read. Thanks!