I CANNOT believe it. So for weeks he has avoided me and has not even given me a clue why!

I've been for at least two weeks more positive...I have a routine now that helps motivate my mood.

What I did differently was make time for God/universe more intensely.

Meaning..after listening to Neville's We are God's audio..I really took that in. I mean why not. If we trust we are infinite beings born/created of an infinite being, why not act like it.

So every night I got a white candle wrote my name, his, my kid on it, rubbed honey and sugar on it and lite it. I meditated while it burned to kundalini awakening videos, angels self Love videos, Gabrielle Gonzales heart energy (I did that one EVERYDAY) or and meditation that was to address my insecurities of not being good enough and sending him or anyone I've hurt love. I did this until the candle burned out or until I was so tired I'd fall over. I never slept doing it I wanted my intent conscious.

Then I started seeing differences everywhere but with him...lol...someone suggested it was the birds before land theory. I said ok to myself keep going. I'd have intense conversation with him...trusting I was becoming telepathic and instead of crying and sulking I'd tell him my true thoughts..I'm gorgeous, I'm not disposable, me and my kid deserves a man who fights for us, I'm sorry if I pushed you away, I was more than happy you were here, I told him HE was enough, we are a team, he isn't alone in his struggling, that I will move on but wish him well, I will not be single and pine for him, he should always know I love him, I pray he finds happiness if it was not with me and my kid and id end it with, you'll always be in my heart and thank you for being in my life.

Last night I did a new meditation. I carved our names in the candle this time with my kids name and did the honey, sugar and cinnamon on it. I did a meditation for me to meet my soul mate or have a better relationship. I did that one for the entire hour! But I felt and truly saw him..felt him..and there was no sadness...pure happy thoughts, future thoughts and I even let him go in a field and walked away with a bright light...sounds crazy but it happened.

At 0600 my kid wakes me up to pee. I have one eye opened and slop all over my face. I got to check my cell to see the weather and number that looked super familiar but no name on it sent me a text at 0400. It was a YouTube link. Nothing more. I click it and realize it was him. I had deleted his number but the messages id locked from the past were still there. I immediately rush my kid to pee because I'd forgotten all about why I was awake and in the distance was Luther Vandross' If Only For One Night. I had clicked the youtube video in route to the potty.

I bust out crying. My baby says who's that mommy singing..I said his name...she smiled so big and said "is him coming back to us?" I told her soon!