Hi Cynthia,

I wanted to ask you do you have any personal methods for letting go? I seem to be really struggling with it.

Since we last spoke my SP and I are speaking again and on the last day of our work project we kissed and said we loved each other. But since then we do text quite a bit but whenever I say something affectionate or teasing relationship wise she ignores it. I also told her I was moving out of my current place where she had an issue with and she had almost no reaction. Just saying wow that's a big change.

I've been taking this as her just taking time to bring her guard down but since I am thinking that would it keep her that way or do I just ignore this and imagine everything being fine? I am also wondering if I am doing something wrong. For example I meditated on self love today and was feeling good all of a sudden mid day I had tons of anxiety and a pit in my stomach. Then I started thinking nonsensical things like whats taking so long and wondering if she still wants me. I am trying to find the best method to get these thoughts under control.The good thing is I am not analyzing everything I am just trying to control unwanted thoughts. Any help would be appreciated. Thanks.

Hi Cynthia,

I said that because at times I feel that way. Funny enough I spoke to my friend the other day who has the same issue I do and when he was explaining how irrational his thinking was it clicked for me what I have been doing to her and myself this whole time. I am thankful that she is similar too and understands what I go through. Thinking on it she may not be angry at all but she wants me to see for myself what I am doing. Your right going back through all her messages I notice she stays quiet because she doesn't want to feed into my episode. So her course of action is too let me see it on my own which is also why she is avoiding me to avoid triggering me. Everything she ever told me all said the same thing she just wants to see change and consistency. And since we are almost at the next phase of our relationship she doesn't want to carry it into our marriage. If that's not love I don't know what is. I've been seeing everything from the wrong perspective.

Also I have been taking your advice. It's just some of the teachings I have to do extra research on because the way neville explains it is a little hard to grasp for me on certain things so when I get other examples or perspectives it helps. Fpr example I just realized yesterday that I had the wrong idea of what a mental diet was but now it makes sense to me that I do.

Also I do appreciate all the help you provide me with. Don't get me wrong my last message wasn't meant to be defensive I just never understood the perspective you were coming from until now. Now that I do my sinceriest apologies it's kind of like driving through a hurricane where you know where your going but its hard to see how to get there that's how I am with my words in those situations. Also thank you for helping me with my relationship it really means alot to me.

Why do you think that? Am I really overthinking that much? I thought this was a normal thing anyone who is in love goes through?