Cherished wrote:

You have to understand that your mind is not actually controlled by something other than you.. YOU control your mind. And when you realise that, you will begin to take steps to control it better. That's why we told you to stop reinforcing all the negatives and try for just a little while to write some positive things without contradicting them.

Absolutely, Cherished. There is a whole lot of contradicting going on.

The root of the problem, Hisoneandonly, seems to be that even though you really really want this guy, something in you is putting up a huge internal fight NOT to get him back. For example, if someone suggests a way for you to let go of the negative feelings, you tend to agree with them, but then you put up various reasons as to why following their advice is impossible for you. So that is one area where I really do think you need to look at. It's like...you often start really well by saying how great it would be to have him back and many other positive and creative things, but then the doubting part of you suddenly kicks in and starts a whole new dialogue of hopelessness: why it seems so difficult, your worries and fears, the bad things he said to you in the past that keep eating away at you, etc. And this dialogue undoes the good work that you have done in the first place. So you need to be aware of this dialogue. Listen for it in your thoughts and look at what you have said here in this thread. Once you are aware of the thoughts, you will then be in a position to do something about them; to defuse them and replace them with other, more positive thoughts that don't go against what you want to achieve.

You have mentioned some of the hurtful things he has done or said to you,some of the negative things, but I think it would be helpful if you put those aside (Cherish has recently made a wonderful post where she mentions actually "deleting" these memories from your mind) and instead focus on what was good about your relationshi

Hisoneandonly wrote:

Debbie wrote:

Hisoneandonly wrote:

 
Do you mean by scripting? I think I should do it asap. I was sick this morning before exam, and I hope I can tell him like the past and he's there to comfort me. It makes me think of that last few days when we're together I told him I got a car accident, he just say "you act like so pitiful." Arh, it brings me down again.

Yes that's right! Scripting! Get yourself into a good frame of mind first. Maybe put on an uplifting song that you hav always loved and makes you happy first, so that your vibration is high and then sit down and write it out EXACTLY as you want. Have no consideration for how it will happen, because that's the job of the Universe to arrange for you. Just write it down they way a little kid might do when they are having a wonderful daydream and they are making everything the way they want it to be and feeling great about it. Feel free and easy about it and have fun with it. And remember, there are no limits! 
 

 
I think I should do it when I'm in a higher vibration hmm. I was searching pictures on my phone to send to my friends, but I suddenly saw the picture that I screenshot a few months ago. How things were great those times. I cried for a little while then I blame myself for begging him or run to his house and find him. I regret. And blamed myself that I have to restart all the progress again. (errr)

Yes, definitely ease yourself into a higher vibration by doing things that feel nice for you. At first it will maybe feel a bit forced, but keep with it and it will begin to feel more natural, I promise you. Above all don't blame yourself for what happened as you are only human and it does happen to all of us now and again. Just tell yourself it is past now and don't give that memory any more energy.
So you have to start the process again... but that's really ok. It's just fine because there is absolutely

Mrs Plaha, that's wonderful! Thank you so much for sharing!