You have to understand that your mind is not actually controlled by something other than you..  YOU control your mind.  And when you realise that,  you will begin to take steps to control it better.  That's why we told you to stop reinforcing all the negatives and try for just a little while to write some positive things without contradicting them.

MrsPlaha wrote:

 
Thankyou baby 

It's hard to feel it's real that I can actually attract him back asap. I got a lot of resistant here..

Debbie wrote:

Cherished wrote:

You have to understand that your mind is not actually controlled by something other than you.. YOU control your mind. And when you realise that, you will begin to take steps to control it better. That's why we told you to stop reinforcing all the negatives and try for just a little while to write some positive things without contradicting them.

Absolutely, Cherished. There is a whole lot of contradicting going on.

The root of the problem, Hisoneandonly, seems to be that even though you really really want this guy, something in you is putting up a huge internal fight NOT to get him back. For example, if someone suggests a way for you to let go of the negative feelings, you tend to agree with them, but then you put up various reasons as to why following their advice is impossible for you. So that is one area where I really do think you need to look at. It's like...you often start really well by saying how great it would be to have him back and many other positive and creative things, but then the doubting part of you suddenly kicks in and starts a whole new dialogue of hopelessness: why it seems so difficult, your worries and fears, the bad things he said to you in the past that keep eating away at you, etc. And this dialogue undoes the good work that you have done in the first place. So you need to be aware of this dialogue. Listen for it in your thoughts and look at what you have said here in this thread. Once you are aware of the thoughts, you will then be in a position to do something about them; to defuse them and replace them with other, more positive thoughts that don't go against what you want to achieve.

You have mentioned some of the hurtful things he has done or said to you,some of the negative things, but I think it would be helpful if you put those aside (Cherish has recently made a wonderful post where she mentions actually "deleting" these memories from your mind) and instead focus on what was good about your relationship. What do you remember about that relationship that is a happy memory for you? What qualities were there in him that you liked? If you want him so badly there must be heaps of things that you found in him that were nice, and things he did that showed you he was attracted to you and wanted to be in a relationship at that time. Go over all those things in your mind and focus on them daily, because those are the things about him that you are going to attract back into your life.
 

Omg debbie, thankyou thankyou for totally understand and speak how I truly feel..I'm in a very low vibration now.. because I'm going to get my exam results there's gonna be 2 result, one is for graduate and the other one is for further studies, I'm going to get my graduate results but they have already told me that I didn't get good results and I didn't graduate. Well, I'm okay with that because it doesn't affect my further studies. But now here's the point, when we broke up, it was during my exam week, and I didn't even study a bit of it.. it brings me really really down that I might don't get good results for my further study exam... my guy got good grades, so he's now studying foundation.. but me? I can't even see my future. I guess he will look down on me or feels like we're in totally different world... I feels like don't deserve him... I would even blame him but I know I shouldn't, because it's my problem. I'm so sorry for such negativity, I just can't hold it in anymore..
 

Hisoneandonly wrote:

Debbie wrote:

Cherished wrote:

You have to understand that your mind is not actually controlled by something other than you.. YOU control your mind. And when you realise that, you will begin to take steps to control it better. That's why we told you to stop reinforcing all the negatives and try for just a little while to write some positive things without contradicting them.

Absolutely, Cherished. There is a whole lot of contradicting going on.

The root of the problem, Hisoneandonly, seems to be that even though you really really want this guy, something in you is putting up a huge internal fight NOT to get him back. For example, if someone suggests a way for you to let go of the negative feelings, you tend to agree with them, but then you put up various reasons as to why following their advice is impossible for you. So that is one area where I really do think you need to look at. It's like...you often start really well by saying how great it would be to have him back and many other positive and creative things, but then the doubting part of you suddenly kicks in and starts a whole new dialogue of hopelessness: why it seems so difficult, your worries and fears, the bad things he said to you in the past that keep eating away at you, etc. And this dialogue undoes the good work that you have done in the first place. So you need to be aware of this dialogue. Listen for it in your thoughts and look at what you have said here in this thread. Once you are aware of the thoughts, you will then be in a position to do something about them; to defuse them and replace them with other, more positive thoughts that don't go against what you want to achieve.

You have mentioned some of the hurtful things he has done or said to you,some of the negative things, but I think it would be helpful if you put those aside (Cherish has recently made a wonderful post where she mentions actually "deleting" these memories from your mind) and instead focus on what was good about your relationship. What do you remember about that relationship that is a happy memory for you? What qualities were there in him that you liked? If you want him so badly there must be heaps of things that you found in him that were nice, and things he did that showed you he was attracted to you and wanted to be in a relationship at that time. Go over all those things in your mind and focus on them daily, because those are the things about him that you are going to attract back into your life.
 

Omg debbie, thankyou thankyou for totally understand and speak how I truly feel..I'm in a very low vibration now.. because I'm going to get my exam results there's gonna be 2 result, one is for graduate and the other one is for further studies, I'm going to get my graduate results but they have already told me that I didn't get good results and I didn't graduate. Well, I'm okay with that because it doesn't affect my further studies. But now here's the point, when we broke up, it was during my exam week, and I didn't even study a bit of it.. it brings me really really down that I might don't get good results for my further study exam... my guy got good grades, so he's now studying foundation.. but me? I can't even see my future. I guess he will look down on me or feels like we're in totally different world... I feels like don't deserve him... I would even blame him but I know I shouldn't, because it's my problem. I'm so sorry for such negativity, I just can't hold it in anymore..
 

Really, Hisoneandonly there's no need to apologize for negativity. Just be aware of it when it happens and try to do something about it in that moment. You certainly deserve him and all the best things of this world, so keep that in mind always.
With your exams, it's important that you work hard for them whatever the issues are with your guy, and if you do that it will help you to detach a little bit from all the bad feelings that are going on right now. You really are doing exams for you and not for him, so what he feels or doesn't feel about that is not important in this case. This is something that you are doing for you and your future, so do your very best ok? Sending you positive vibes so that they all go as well as possible!