She even has meditations for letting go

You don't need to be friends with her.
It's okay if you aren't because there are chances of constant stalking which is a negative vibe.

Hi,
I am 22 and I have almost guven up on my life.
I don't even know if its all the crying making me type all this or the marijuana in my body.
I have stopped feeling things. I have stopped feeling emotions. Except for anger, fear and pity.
I am so fucked up in life. 
i was so happy once in my life and now I hate it.
I hate being here, i hate where i am.
my family hates me. All my life I have been taught to impress others. I am in need of appreciation.
i dont even know when was the last time i even heard someone calling beautiful. i have been taught people judge you all the time. my parents only care about their religion and people. 
my sister is a ***** to me most of the time. i have an abusive boyfriend. An ex who does not leave my mind. And no friends at all. I know you wouldask me to believe and all but I have been practising it for a year now and there is no change at all. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. 
I have been my own hero for all my life. I have always gotten up and solved every problem with a smile. But for once I want someone to save me. For once I want to feel satisfied.
My parents love me but only if I live according to them. They have asked me to get out of the house. And I myself want to. But its expensive and I dont even have a job.
my boyfriend is what he is,. Howmuch even I try I cant get my ex out of my brain. 
nothing in my life is ghoing well. And I am lost. and i hate saying this but
I am lonely. there is so much in my mind that I choose not to tell anyone.
I took my parents to a therapist with me. They stopped coming to sessions because they think its stupid. 
Its not even physical but I am mentally ill. I am dying mentally.
And its not about being positive, and believing or grateful. its just. 
I am drained and tired. 

 

*UPDATE*

He called me last night apologising. 
Told him it isn't okay and I don't want to be with him.
He first got very pissed but cried later which made me accept his apology and give him a chance.
I am planning to apply Lanie's technique on him to improve him.

Hi,
I have been using LOA past 1 year to attarct my ex back. I didn't attract him back yet but while I was attracting him back, I started seeing a guy who is mutuals with my ex. 
I was really happy with him. Until the relationship between us has become toxic. 
He has been abusing me a lot and he has even hit me. I really do have feelings for him but he doesn't trust me. Whenever we meet he just makes me cry and abuses me and leaves me crying on the road. He says I am too bossy and I don't love him. He wants me to change and he wants me to do everything as he says.He always compares everything to me and my ex. Its been almost 9 months since I am with him but yet he doesn't trust me at all. He won't let me go out with my friends. He won't let me go anywhere. 
He says all problems in hi life are because of me. He even made me cut off with my best friends. 
I am so stuck and anxious. I really can't think straight. 
I have tried every possible technique on him but I don't know I am not even able to get into the meditative state. I can't sleep or concentrate on anything. 
And he literally just talks about my ex and me. And I am so f**cked in my head that I feel the universe is giving me signs to leave him and my ex is the one for me.
I have no clue what is happening,
I even have a lot of family issues going on. I feel I'll need a therapist. I have been so disconnected. 
I am not even able to work.
I have become so negative.
I affirm myself every morning. I am grateful but everything is going wrong and I am losing myself.

Today morning I woke up at 6 just to see him and I am not an early riser.
He fought with me because I just said stop annoying me. Then I started to sort everything and we were fine. But we had a discussion and it wasn't even about us, it was about something random and I just told him chuck it. He just left me on the road and went.
This happens everytime I meet him. 
He had given me few gifts. And he threw them all in the bin when we had a huge ar