Lifesagas wrote:

Keep going to see a therapist. No-one can save anyone else, you can only save yourself.

This.

You have to pick yourself back up, you can't rely on anyone for your happiness. Embrace your problems, accept them and then let them go. Oh yeah and drop the drugs.

Ziestyles wrote:

Hi,
I am 22 and I have almost guven up on my life.
I don't even know if its all the crying making me type all this or the marijuana in my body.
I have stopped feeling things. I have stopped feeling emotions. Except for anger, fear and pity.
I am so fucked up in life. 
i was so happy once in my life and now I hate it.
I hate being here, i hate where i am.
my family hates me. All my life I have been taught to impress others. I am in need of appreciation.
i dont even know when was the last time i even heard someone calling beautiful. i have been taught people judge you all the time. my parents only care about their religion and people. 
my sister is a ***** to me most of the time. i have an abusive boyfriend. An ex who does not leave my mind. And no friends at all. I know you wouldask me to believe and all but I have been practising it for a year now and there is no change at all. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. 
I have been my own hero for all my life. I have always gotten up and solved every problem with a smile. But for once I want someone to save me. For once I want to feel satisfied.
My parents love me but only if I live according to them. They have asked me to get out of the house. And I myself want to. But its expensive and I dont even have a job.
my boyfriend is what he is,. Howmuch even I try I cant get my ex out of my brain. 
nothing in my life is ghoing well. And I am lost. and i hate saying this but
I am lonely. there is so much in my mind that I choose not to tell anyone.
I took my parents to a therapist with me. They stopped coming to sessions because they think its stupid. 
Its not even physical but I am mentally ill. I am dying mentally.
And its not about being positive, and believing or grateful. its just. 
I am drained and tired. 

 

Sweetheart, I have been there. I grew up absused. Physically, emotionally, mentally, sexually, and religiously. I clung onto the wrong people and thought I would never get out of it. I had no support. I can't even say that my heart was broken. I felt like a shell. I was so empty. Unbelievably empty and alone. I kept trying to find happiness with the wrong men and found myself in all the wrong situations.

Personally, I don't have a relationship with my parents. I don't have a relationship with my family at all. I chose my own family. It took years of weeding out the wrong people, but I found them. I remember not having a job, pregnant, no man, no source of income, and my son eating Mac and cheese straight from the pan on top of a flipped over laundry basket. I was at my lowest point and saw no hope. What changed me was finding a job and going back to school. I waited tables, got assistance for childcare, and got financial aid. I vowed never to feel powerless again. I sought out help and took everything I could get knowing I'd eventually be in a position to pay it back. I now am at the top of my game and happier than I've ever been. It took 20 years, but I did it all for myself.

As much as you don't want to hear this, no one can save you. You have to save yourself. Once you do that, all the right people and situations will come to you at top speed.

Stay in therapy. I won't tell you that all these relationships can be saved. I've found that loving myself meant to let go of toxic people and situations. The therapy will help you find your inner strength and regain your power. You have it in you. I know you do.

And you are beautiful, love. Know that.

80saeaak wrote:

Ziestyles wrote:

Hi,
I am 22 and I have almost guven up on my life.
I don't even know if its all the crying making me type all this or the marijuana in my body.
I have stopped feeling things. I have stopped feeling emotions. Except for anger, fear and pity.
I am so fucked up in life. 
i was so happy once in my life and now I hate it.
I hate being here, i hate where i am.
my family hates me. All my life I have been taught to impress others. I am in need of appreciation.
i dont even know when was the last time i even heard someone calling beautiful. i have been taught people judge you all the time. my parents only care about their religion and people. 
my sister is a ***** to me most of the time. i have an abusive boyfriend. An ex who does not leave my mind. And no friends at all. I know you wouldask me to believe and all but I have been practising it for a year now and there is no change at all. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. 
I have been my own hero for all my life. I have always gotten up and solved every problem with a smile. But for once I want someone to save me. For once I want to feel satisfied.
My parents love me but only if I live according to them. They have asked me to get out of the house. And I myself want to. But its expensive and I dont even have a job.
my boyfriend is what he is,. Howmuch even I try I cant get my ex out of my brain. 
nothing in my life is ghoing well. And I am lost. and i hate saying this but
I am lonely. there is so much in my mind that I choose not to tell anyone.
I took my parents to a therapist with me. They stopped coming to sessions because they think its stupid. 
Its not even physical but I am mentally ill. I am dying mentally.
And its not about being positive, and believing or grateful. its just. 
I am drained and tired. 

 

Sweetheart, I have been there. I grew up absused. Physically, emotionally, mentally, sexually, and religiously. I clung onto the wrong people and thought I would never get out of it. I had no support. I can't even say that my heart was broken. I felt like a shell. I was so empty. Unbelievably empty and alone. I kept trying to find happiness with the wrong men and found myself in all the wrong situations.

Personally, I don't have a relationship with my parents. I don't have a relationship with my family at all. I chose my own family. It took years of weeding out the wrong people, but I found them. I remember not having a job, pregnant, no man, no source of income, and my son eating Mac and cheese straight from the pan on top of a flipped over laundry basket. I was at my lowest point and saw no hope. What changed me was finding a job and going back to school. I waited tables, got assistance for childcare, and got financial aid. I vowed never to feel powerless again. I sought out help and took everything I could get knowing I'd eventually be in a position to pay it back. I now am at the top of my game and happier than I've ever been. It took 20 years, but I did it all for myself.

As much as you don't want to hear this, no one can save you. You have to save yourself. Once you do that, all the right people and situations will come to you at top speed.

Stay in therapy. I won't tell you that all these relationships can be saved. I've found that loving myself meant to let go of toxic people and situations. The therapy will help you find your inner strength and regain your power. You have it in you. I know you do.

And you are beautiful, love. Know that.

Diamond!!!
So stronggg so inspiring. Much thank you for the strength & hope.