flowerel wrote:

Cynthia wrote:

flowerel wrote:

Hi Cynthia, I saw your answer and wanted to take the time to answer you and thank you but it disappeared.

I hope I will remember everything you said. But you're right that my self belief is the main problem. That s actually why I am trying to manifest someone else, to prove to myself that I can have the guy I want. Veronica actually talks about it in her last videos, about beliefs that we are never the chosen one (in school or in love).

I am thinking that it s all good and that when my SP will come back into my life, he will be ready and me too. I will stop dwelling on the past. 

It's so weird that your comment disappeared, I can't remember everything that was said but I will note that everything is possible. I hope I will come back here to give some good news one day

Thanks again!!

 
If you still want a relationship with the first person, the second one isn't the one you want so you're not proving you can get the one you want, just the one you targeted. Do you really want to focus on something you don't really want? You can prove you can have your desires using Neville's teachings on anything else. What happens if you do get the relationship with the second guy and you don't really want him? What will you do then? Settle for less than what you want? Or lead the second guy on, dump him, and then hurt his feelings? Do you think that's fair to him? Or will you change your mind and decide the second one is better for you? How much do you really want the first guy? Do you really want him or are you undecided and open to somebody else and would be able to easily put the first guy behind you? Those are things to think about. Get clear in your mind about what you really want and put your focus and energy into creating that.

Anything is possible. You just have to believe that. You don't ever have to settle for less or for only what you think is possible.

Thank you again for both your answers.

You are so right. I am lost between the guy I want but don't believe can have and the other one who is a good guy but for whom I don't feel true love.

I might need to think about me more. I want my SP back, I want him to come back and tell me he loves me. Thats what I truly want but I don't believe I can manifest this. Maybe I need to work on my self esteem and self belief first. I feel stuck in the past and how the whole thing ended. I believe it will be easier with time to just create a new story that fits what I want. 

I will come back to your words and brainstorm on this. 

Thank you again for your insight which is spot on and the time you take to read our stories and answer us.

When I felt confident and ready, I attracted my dream job in 2 months. I need to feel the same way about my SP. And I need to listen to Neville more for sure.

 

 
What you want is what you should be imagining, then. I don't know what your relationship with your SP has been in the past or even if there has been one or how serious it was, but whatever good there was in it, you have already experienced that much, which means you can experience it again and even much better than it was. You got your dream job. It's the same principle for everything - job, car, house, relationship, or anything else.

Your self-esteem could use some work, and that dvd I mentioned before worked wonders for mine back when I didn't have any. Know that you are a worthwhile, lovable person because that's true of most people, so why shouldn't it be true of you?

Yes, listen to Neville more. Do what he says. He's right. The more I listen to him and apply what he says, the more outward appearances lose any significance to me.

You're welcome.

Also on a side note I have been very angry with myself because I let her down and I never lie to her. So I have been self loathing for the last few days.

Hi Cynthia,

Thanks for getting back to me. So everything has gone from bad to worse. She texted me this morning saying "you are exhausting me again and making it worse behaving like this. Don't push me to stop with how I feel just so you can stop feeling bad.I need to process my disappointment and you trying to force your ways back and overthinking is very irritating and exhausting. It;s not my job to make you feel better. I already said what I wanted. Do better and be consistent on all aspects you do. Show actions and effort, not text messages downing yourself. I got lied to and was let down. You need to accept and respect that it will take time for the disappointment to go away. If you don't want to accept that it's not my problem." She then said "i talk to you the same professional way as any coworker and I will keep it that way. This situation is making me realize and see things that I have overlooked." I asked her to not be that way and she repiled with this. "Can you just let me be for now? I am tired of having to keep reassuring you because you cannot stop overthinking. It's exhausting and I don't want to deal with it anymore.Let time take care of it's course." Not sure what that last part meant. She then said that she just wanted a stress free day. So I ask what should I do now is everything lost? How do I recover from this? She sounds like she can't stand me now I am not sure if she even still loves me at this point.

alex31 wrote:

Hi Cynthia,

Thanks for getting back to me. So everything has gone from bad to worse. She texted me this morning saying "you are exhausting me again and making it worse behaving like this. Don't push me to stop with how I feel just so you can stop feeling bad.I need to process my disappointment and you trying to force your ways back and overthinking is very irritating and exhausting. It;s not my job to make you feel better. I already said what I wanted. Do better and be consistent on all aspects you do. Show actions and effort, not text messages downing yourself. I got lied to and was let down. You need to accept and respect that it will take time for the disappointment to go away. If you don't want to accept that it's not my problem." She then said "i talk to you the same professional way as any coworker and I will keep it that way. This situation is making me realize and see things that I have overlooked." I asked her to not be that way and she repiled with this. "Can you just let me be for now? I am tired of having to keep reassuring you because you cannot stop overthinking. It's exhausting and I don't want to deal with it anymore.Let time take care of it's course." Not sure what that last part meant. She then said that she just wanted a stress free day. So I ask what should I do now is everything lost? How do I recover from this? She sounds like she can't stand me now I am not sure if she even still loves me at this point.

 

No, of course all isn't lost, only if you believe it is. It sounds to me like you have been annoying her by taking outward actions such as apologising too much, trying to convince her of something, or whatever it has been. Stop that right now. That is part of the reason why everything has been going from bad to worse. Trying to manipulate outer conditions directly is futile. Your subconscious beliefs and imaginal acts (which are one way of programming your subconscious mind - there are other ways, such as hypnosis) are what is creating what is going on in your outside world. Change what you are imagining, persevere, and you will change what you experience.  Don't try to convince her of anything and don't do anything outwardly any more. Leave her alone on this subject, but be kind to her, behave normally, and if she wants to talk about the subject and brings it up first, then and only then talk about it but don't let it affect you negatively and don't let yourself get involved in any argument over it. Remember that you are consciously creating the result you want with your imaginal acts and that it will take an interval of time to see the results, so hold your nerve whatever happens in the meantime and don't let outward appearances trip you up. Do it all in your mind, and keep doing it all in your mind. Everything happens there first. Always go straight to the end in your imagination of having your desire now and think from that perspective. 

You previously mentioned a custody issue. You can apply exactly the same method to that being resolved with the desired result. However, if you go straight to living in the end of having your desire exactly the way you want it to be, that will be taken care of as well. Don't let this little episode get you down. You had great results before. Remember that. In fact, I think that is a good way of looking at this. Instead of blowing it up bigger and bigger in your mind until it becomes what you think is an insurmountable obstacle, look at it as one of those little ups and downs that happen sometimes along the way to your desired end result. Neville talks about that in his lecture, Ends Ultimate and Temporary. That's a good one to listen to at a time like this.

If I haven't done so previously, I would strongly suggest listening to Neville Goddard's mental diets, how to use your imagination, and the secret of imagining, which takes less than an hour altogether and apply his teachings, not just to this but to everything. This is a way of life, not something you just do to get something or to be with a person. We are constantly creating 24/7 whether we know it or not, so we might as well experience what we want to. I also highly recommend his lecture Brazen Impudence which you can read online for free.

You've got to calm down, love. You are enough, and you are good enough. She's not better than you. You've already apologised enough and excessively. I understand that you feel bad about the lie and that you have been trying to convince her of how sorry you are, that you aren't a liar, etc., but she has already told you it is very wearing. It would wear me down as well. Enough is enough. Stop it now. No more texting. All you are doing is upsetting her and pushing her away, and I know you don't want to do that. You don't happen to be from the Philippines, do you? There was somebody last year who was doing exactly what you've been doing and he was from there, and the girl sounded just like yours. I was wondering if it's a common male trait there.

I'm not sure how to describe how to behave normally if you don't know what that means. Stay calm, don't overreact to things, keep your emotions under control, behave like someone who doesn't have an emotional investment in the situation, that sort of thing.

You should imagine the end result that you want to have with this girl, whatever that is, and think from the standpoint of this already being true and an accomplished fact. For example, if that means being happily married to her with the child living with you and everybody getting along great, then imagine that and keep it uppermost in your mind. I don't think it would hurt under the circumstances, if you want to, to also imagine her praising you in whatever ways you would like to be praised (as with the girl and her employer in Mental Diets) since you work together and it sounds like there might be a problem there at the moment with all of your apologising, etc.

You're trying too hard and doing it outwardly, too, and that's obviously having the opposite effect than you want it to, so stop it. Didn't you say that she has told you she loves you and wants to marry you? Do you have a fear of this not happening or of it being too good to be true or something like that? If so, if any of that happened, you would be the one doing that to yourself. It would be coming from you, so don't let that happen. How silly would that be? Don't worry so much. You must have been doing great before, so you can go back to doing great again. Put this incident behind you. The more you dwell on it so will she. Take your attention away from it and let it fade away and so will she. Focus on what you want, not on what you don't want.

I just want to add that you have probably been playing what happened over and over again in your head and reliving it over and over and beating yourself up over it. It sounds like it to me. That is going on in your imagination and it is only going to perpetuate that problem and make it bigger and bigger. It might be difficult at first, but you've got to do the opposite by hearing her say all sorts of good things about you to you. I don't do social media, but last year somebody who does sent me a screenshot from there that was deeply upsetting to me and a big shock. He should have known better than to do that. At first that was all I could see and think about. It might as well have been a big neon sign flashing in my face. At first it was a big mental battle back and forth between seeing that screenshot in my mind and focussing on thinking the things I wanted to instead, and it took me probably about a month to get to the point where I barely ever thought about it. I don't think your incident is that big, not yet anyway, that it should be a big mental battle that would require as much effort as I had to put into my situation. I think you can nip it in the bud before it gets out of hand.

Last edited by Cynthia (6/01/2020 1:47 am)