Posted by flowerel  12/04/2019 6:09 pm | #11 |
Hi Cynthia, I saw your answer and wanted to take the time to answer you and thank you but it disappeared.
I hope I will remember everything you said. But you're right that my self belief is the main problem. That s actually why I am trying to manifest someone else, to prove to myself that I can have the guy I want. Veronica actually talks about it in her last videos, about beliefs that we are never the chosen one (in school or in love).
I am thinking that it s all good and that when my SP will come back into my life, he will be ready and me too. I will stop dwelling on the past.
It's so weird that your comment disappeared, I can't remember everything that was said but I will note that everything is possible. I hope I will come back here to give some good news one day 
Thanks again!!
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Posted by Cynthia 12/04/2019 7:00 pm | #12 |
I'm putting my reply back since you've come back. Due to the many hit and run posters here who never come back or acknowledge replies, it has been my recent practice to delete mine if that appears to be the case.
Flowerel,
What I actually did, long before I ever heard of Neville, was to imagine myself married to a specific person and imagine wearing a wedding ring whilst I was living abroad, and I later married him after I had returned to London. We're both British. It's the same principle, though, so it doesn't matter.
You know what your problem is. You've stated it yourself. It is nothing to do with 'attachment', it is your strong belief that you never get the guy you want. You've got to change that. That may or may not have been true for you in the past, but it doesn't have to continue to be true. The 'letting go' is not of your desire but of fears and doubts and other negativity.
I grew up having absolutely no self esteem and a lot of anxiety and nervousness due to all of the abuse and neglect Ihat I had, and the one thing that helped me more than any other single thing, and I tried many, was a then video that is now on dvd called Love and Believe in Yourself by Dick Sutphen. It is video hypnosis. I don't know what the format of the dvd is. If you're interested, I'm sure they'll tell you. It might be all region. When I got it on video I had to have it converted from ntsc to pal, but things have moved on since then. Here is a link to the dvd.
https://www.dicksutphen.com/store/p122/Love_and_Believe_in_Yourself_DVD.html
What I've seen on this forum a lot is what looks like the person who wants a relationship with a specific person perceiving that person as somehow being better than they are or somehow being unattainable when in reality they are no better. Think of yourself at least as an equal. You are good enough just the way you are, and you don't have to jump tbrough hoops or do anything else to prove it.
Is it that you don't understand what it is to think FROM? Thinking OF your desire is something you want but you don't have. Thinking FROM it is how you would think and feel if you already had your desire right now. Feeling that you have your desire is the most important thing. What would it feel like if it was true right now?
If you've been listening to Neville and/or reading his books, then you know that he taught that imagining creates reality, that imaginal acts create facts when persisted in over time, and that it is also important to have faith and be patient.
If the person you really want is the one who moved away why are you wasting time and energy on the other person? Anything is possible. Don't limit yourself to what you think it is possible for you to have, choose what it is that you really want and imagine, feel, and assume that it is yours. We're creating all the time anyway, whether we know it or not, so we might as well choose what we want to create.
Listen to those links I left for Alex. They're very important. I listen to Neville most days as continuous reminders and reinforcement. He was so right, and the rest of the world is constantly judging by outward appearances, more often than not looking upon them as unchangeable facts that are set in stone, or trying to change them by taking overt action in an attempt to directly manipulate them.
As Neville said, 'There is no inevitable permanence in anything. Both past and prrsent continue to exist only because they are sustained by 'imagining' on some level or other; and a radical transformation of life is always possible by man revising the undesirable part of it.'
Last edited by Cynthia (12/07/2019 12:20 pm)
The first man to raise a fist is the man who has run out of ideas.
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Posted by Cynthia 12/04/2019 7:21 pm | #13 |
flowerel wrote:
Hi Cynthia, I saw your answer and wanted to take the time to answer you and thank you but it disappeared.
I hope I will remember everything you said. But you're right that my self belief is the main problem. That s actually why I am trying to manifest someone else, to prove to myself that I can have the guy I want. Veronica actually talks about it in her last videos, about beliefs that we are never the chosen one (in school or in love).
I am thinking that it s all good and that when my SP will come back into my life, he will be ready and me too. I will stop dwelling on the past.
It's so weird that your comment disappeared, I can't remember everything that was said but I will note that everything is possible. I hope I will come back here to give some good news one day
Thanks again!!
If you still want a relationship with the first person, the second one isn't the one you want so you're not proving you can get the one you want, just the one you targeted. Do you really want to focus on something you don't really want? You can prove you can have your desires using Neville's teachings on anything else. What happens if you do get the relationship with the second guy and you don't really want him? What will you do then? Settle for less than what you want? Or lead the second guy on, dump him, and then hurt his feelings? Do you think that's fair to him? Or will you change your mind and decide the second one is better for you? How much do you really want the first guy? Do you really want him or are you undecided and open to somebody else and would be able to easily put the first guy behind you? Those are things to think about. Get clear in your mind about what you really want and put your focus and energy into creating that.
Anything is possible. You just have to believe that. You don't ever have to settle for less or for only what you think is possible.
Last edited by Cynthia (12/04/2019 7:23 pm)
The first man to raise a fist is the man who has run out of ideas.
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Posted by alex31 12/04/2019 8:42 pm | #14 |
Hi Cynthia,
I can't seem to find your last post you sent to me. I was trying to look for it. Can you post it again? Anyway I am stuck here. I see parts of what I am manifesting and other parts I feel are out of my control. Like yesterday was good I was having lunch with my SP even were talking into the late hours. and the guy that I see as a rival didn even speak to my SP that day and he told me he was looking for another job because I have been trying to manifest him out of the office. Because it is very difficult for me to focus at work when he sits next to her and is constantly trying to make a move on her. He is getting a divorce so he is trying to hit on every woman he can but especially her. Today did a 180 and was awful. At first it started off well my SP was talking to me alot although I got a bit worried because both her and her son are involved in sports and they are both getting more recognition which she is worried about because she doesn't want her ex husband to know she is seeing someone else yet. Anyway the day was going smooth until he comes in with a christmas tree and puts it on her desk it was too big so she broke off a piece and kept it as a plant. I got really pissed off about that. Then we were joking throughout the day and first she mistook a comment I made in a negative way. and she said when something goes wrong I always blame myself and I shouldn't. When she realized she was wrong she laughed it off. But then She made a comment about not being sweet like she used to be then I mentioned the sweet stuff she used to say to me and she was like that was months ago i'm older now. I got really upset by that and it broke our conversation. I could barely contain myself and cried when I left work. I feel like she is caring less about my feelings and this guy is trying to make a move on her so it has me overthinking so badly I am going in a downward spiral. I notice my biggest issue is reacting. I am really struggling with ignoring my current reality and stay positive through this. Like last time I am supposed to go on vacation with her this weekend and dont want too because I am so upset. What should I do to get control back? This whole thing is making me feel so unappreciated and unloved. My goal is to have my SP in a secure relationship where is open with her feelings. And for this guy to leave to office and never come back.
Last edited by alex31 (12/04/2019 8:51 pm)
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Posted by Cynthia 12/04/2019 9:16 pm | #15 |
Alex,
I am putting the reply back since you have returned here. As I said to flowerel, there have been so many hit and run posters here, especially recently, who don't come back or acknowledge replies that I have started deleting mine when that appears to be happening again. It's happened so many times, and it's very frustrating when people do that, especially when they have claimed to so desperately need help and advice and then don't bother to come back. I and others who have replied do this for free when we could be doing other things for ourselves, and it's just so insulting and disrespectful when people do the above, which is probably why almost nobody replies any more, along with the fact that most people don't even try, or maybe try a time or two, what has been suggested, and then give up and want different advice because they didn't believe it would work or because they didn't have instant results.
What you have said is just further proof of how right Neville was. Listen to those links I left you whether or not you've already listened to them. They're very important. You are seeing this coworker as some sort of rival or threat, so put him out of your mind (and it can be done even if you find it difficult at first - I had a tremendous mental battle with myself when somebody sent me a very disturbing screenshot that I won by listening to Neville's lecture Rearrange The Mind whilst I was doing it - it took me about a month and at first all I could see was the screenshot but it faded away more and more the more I focussed my attention only on what I wanted) and focus only on imagining having the best and happiest of relationships with your SP. Imagining creates reality and is the cause of what is happening in the outside world so it is pointless to try to directly manipulate the situation by taking outward actions, such as trying to talk someone into something or arguing with them or begging and pleading with them, as I've seen some people do. Change what you are imagining to the way you want things to be and live in the end of having it. You must have been doing something right if you had such a great holiday together. This proves you can create a good relationship with her. You just have to be able to have faith in and sustain your imaginal acts and not let any fears or doubts creep in and spoil things for you.
Last edited by Cynthia (12/04/2019 10:22 pm)
The first man to raise a fist is the man who has run out of ideas.
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Posted by alex31 12/04/2019 9:24 pm | #16 |
Cynthia,
Sorry about that. I don't get to reply as much due to my hectic schedule but I do appreciate you taking the time to give the advice. Listening to the neville vids helped me get through when my issues started they just seem to be more out of control then ever. What technique do you use to ignore your current reality? and not react? I am so quick to react to things it gets me in trouble sometimes. I have been trying to visualize too but its like the other co worker invades my thoughts so I can't concentrate. So like you did with the screenshot how were you able to focus on it enough to get rid of it but not give it power to make things worse. Also do you suggest any affirmations or anything I could use to get my SP to be more kind,loving, and appreciative of me?
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Posted by Cynthia 12/04/2019 9:32 pm | #17 |
Hi Cynthia,
I can't seem to find your last post you sent to me. I was trying to look for it. Can you post it again? Anyway I am stuck here. I see parts of what I am manifesting and other parts I feel are out of my control. Like yesterday was good I was having lunch with my SP even were talking into the late hours. and the guy that I see as a rival didn even speak to my SP that day and he told me he was looking for another job because I have been trying to manifest him out of the office. Because it is very difficult for me to focus at work when he sits next to her and is constantly trying to make a move on her. He is getting a divorce so he is trying to hit on every woman he can but especially her. Today did a 180 and was awful. At first it started off well my SP was talking to me alot although I got a bit worried because both her and her son are involved in sports and they are both getting more recognition which she is worried about because she doesn't want her ex husband to know she is seeing someone else yet. Anyway the day was going smooth until he comes in with a christmas tree and puts it on her desk it was too big so she broke off a piece and kept it as a plant. I got really pissed off about that. Then we were joking throughout the day and first she mistook a comment I made in a negative way. and she said when something goes wrong I always blame myself and I shouldn't. When she realized she was wrong she laughed it off. But then She made a comment about not being sweet like she used to be then I mentioned the sweet stuff she used to say to me and she was like that was months ago i'm older now. I got really upset by that and it broke our conversation. I could barely contain myself and cried when I left work. I feel like she is caring less about my feelings and this guy is trying to make a move on her so it has me overthinking so badly I am going in a downward spiral. I notice my biggest issue is reacting. I am really struggling with ignoring my current reality and stay positive through this. Like last time I am supposed to go on vacation with her this weekend and dont want too because I am so upset. What should I do to get control back? This whole thing is making me feel so unappreciated and unloved. My goal is to have my SP in a secure relationship where is open with her feelings. And for this guy to leave to office and never come back.
You are paying much too much attention to what is going on around you in the outside world and putting your own interpretations on what various actions and things said by other people mean. It may be difficult, especially if you spend a lot of time with or around your SP, but you really must stop reacting to every little thing that you think means something that it might not mean at all. The only real threat is in your own mind. Know and believe and keep uppermost in your mind that your imaginal acts will come to pass in the outside world when persisted in with faith over time and ignore outward appearances with the knowledge and belief that they will change if you will do that. Don't let yourself be bothered by every little thing. None of that matters, but you can make it matter and into a big issue if you persist in thinking and imagining the things you don't want.
The link to Neville's Mental Diets I left for you before is particularly important to listen to and understand and start applying. I had to learn the hard way how true it is that everybody is you pushed out, as Neville put it.
Last edited by Cynthia (12/04/2019 9:45 pm)
The first man to raise a fist is the man who has run out of ideas.
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Posted by alex31 12/04/2019 10:09 pm | #18 |
Thank you I completely agree with you on that. That is something my SP tells me all the time. She always says you are paranoid and overthinking things too much just relax and enjoy the ride. I mean she has got to love me to know my shedule inside out anyway. And I can definitely tell this whole situation is me pushed out. Before I even got with my SP I randomly thought in my head she wanted me and she did. Then I started becoming irritated with this guy and he became an issue we were actually friends previous to this situation. Before my SP even said this guy really annoys me. So I just need to get a grip and shape things the way I want them to be. As for visualization this may sound like a dumb question but I was curious if I am doing it right. I can see what I picture in my minds eye and in my imagination but not when I close my eyes I just see darkness is that how it's supposed to be?
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Posted by flowerel 12/04/2019 10:42 pm | #19 |
Hi Cynthia, I saw your answer and wanted to take the time to answer you and thank you but it disappeared.
I hope I will remember everything you said. But you're right that my self belief is the main problem. That s actually why I am trying to manifest someone else, to prove to myself that I can have the guy I want. Veronica actually talks about it in her last videos, about beliefs that we are never the chosen one (in school or in love).
I am thinking that it s all good and that when my SP will come back into my life, he will be ready and me too. I will stop dwelling on the past.
It's so weird that your comment disappeared, I can't remember everything that was said but I will note that everything is possible. I hope I will come back here to give some good news one day
Thanks again!!
If you still want a relationship with the first person, the second one isn't the one you want so you're not proving you can get the one you want, just the one you targeted. Do you really want to focus on something you don't really want? You can prove you can have your desires using Neville's teachings on anything else. What happens if you do get the relationship with the second guy and you don't really want him? What will you do then? Settle for less than what you want? Or lead the second guy on, dump him, and then hurt his feelings? Do you think that's fair to him? Or will you change your mind and decide the second one is better for you? How much do you really want the first guy? Do you really want him or are you undecided and open to somebody else and would be able to easily put the first guy behind you? Those are things to think about. Get clear in your mind about what you really want and put your focus and energy into creating that.
Anything is possible. You just have to believe that. You don't ever have to settle for less or for only what you think is possible.
Thank you again for both your answers.
You are so right. I am lost between the guy I want but don't believe can have and the other one who is a good guy but for whom I don't feel true love.
I might need to think about me more. I want my SP back, I want him to come back and tell me he loves me. Thats what I truly want but I don't believe I can manifest this. Maybe I need to work on my self esteem and self belief first. I feel stuck in the past and how the whole thing ended. I believe it will be easier with time to just create a new story that fits what I want.
I will come back to your words and brainstorm on this.
Thank you again for your insight which is spot on and the time you take to read our stories and answer us.
When I felt confident and ready, I attracted my dream job in 2 months. I need to feel the same way about my SP. And I need to listen to Neville more for sure.
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Posted by Cynthia 12/04/2019 10:58 pm | #20 |
Cynthia,
Sorry about that. I don't get to reply as much due to my hectic schedule but I do appreciate you taking the time to give the advice. Listening to the neville vids helped me get through when my issues started they just seem to be more out of control then ever. What technique do you use to ignore your current reality? and not react? I am so quick to react to things it gets me in trouble sometimes. I have been trying to visualize too but its like the other co worker invades my thoughts so I can't concentrate. So like you did with the screenshot how were you able to focus on it enough to get rid of it but not give it power to make things worse. Also do you suggest any affirmations or anything I could use to get my SP to be more kind,loving, and appreciative of me?
As I mentioned before, when I was sent that screenshot, at first that was all I could think about. It might as well have been a huge neon sign in my face. I was very shocked and upset, but I also knew it might be totally bogus, I had no way of knowing whether it had any validity or not, plus I knew it didn't matter anyway because even if it were true it could be changed and would only be temporary. I listen to Neville most days, sometimes I set him playing on youtube all night, and I knew I had to focus only on what I wanted. I did not focus on the screenshot at all. It wasn't easy in the beginning, it was a real struggle, like a tennis match or something, back and forth between imagining what I wanted and seeing that screenshot. I listened to Neville whilst I was imagining the end result I wanted. Rearrange the Mind was particularly helpful because in part of that he is talking about somebody being in prison and imagining being free and ignoring the prison bars being there and I could equate that to ignoring the screenshot. Gradually the screenshot faded away more and more until it had no significance and I barely ever even think about it, but if and when I do I go right back to imagining only what I want right there and then.
I don't do a lot of affirmations, but when I do I tell myself how deeply loved and wanted I am. Rather than saying affirmations about how kind, loving and appreciative he is of me, what I do with my current SP is imagine him looking at me very lovingly and telling me whatever it is I want to hear from him. That is living in the end, it is experiencing in my imagination what I want to experience in the outside world, and I make it very real, and it feels very real to me doing it that way. I also imagine us having a life together in the ways that we would if we were together now.
I've seen people saying they are doing things like the so-called 'rubbing out technique' to try to get rid of any perceived rivals, but I don't really agree with that. That's putting attention on something you don't want, even if your goal is to eliminate it, and I think it's better to completely ignore and take the focus away from anything you don't want and put it all on what you do want.
The first man to raise a fist is the man who has run out of ideas.
