Thanks Hopeful and Emma.

More updates. I've been quite busy with work and my schedules these past days that I wasn't able to complete some of the actions in the 25 day challenge, but I tell myself that it's ok. Would it be ok for me to just pick up from the day I missed? I've been preparing for a performance that I had on Friday, so I haven't been active on this forum either. 

Anyways, on Thursday, I volunteered at a Hope Lounge for Cancer patients with my girlfriends. After the volunteer session, I decided to pick up my phone and pretended to have a conversation with my sp on how my day was. As I was having this conversation, I passed by him while driving. (I know...that's dangerous.. I do not promote talking on the phone while driving.). And let me tell you, with the differences in our schedules and with the amount of people on campus (60,000+ students), the chances of myself running into him was unlikely. But I did it, just by pretending to talk to him. I took this as a positive sign that I was on track. 

On Friday, I had my dance performance, I knew that he was going to be there. However, I decided to just focus on myself, my friends and have fun. I ended up spotting him in the audience with the "girl that he's been having a thing with" aka his rebound. Rewind to 2 weeks ago, I actually cried and balled for 2 hours because I saw them together. But that night, I didn't feel fear at all. nor did I feel jealous. I just shrugged. I didn't feel hurt and I didn't cry. So, that's a big progress for me. I told myself that she's just his mentee and is just a "little sister" sort of person with him. I took a break and I went outside before my performance for fresh air. I used this time to visualize him and I together and did a rubbing out meditation for a combined 10 mins. After that, I went on stage and did my performance. During the performance she moved to a different table outside of his. And there was an after party after the event, and she ended up not going. At the after party, I sat across the room from him. In my mind, ever since the performance, I could tell that he missed me and wanted me back. At least, that's what I told myself. I could tell that he was hurting inside. 

Anyhow, perhaps to many, this may not seem like serious progress, but to me, I feel proud of myself for becoming stronger and loving myself more and more each day. And I'm seeing the results externally. I received a thank you card at work the other day and my boss let me off work early to rest and relax. And people keep complementing me and are coming up to me to talk. Also note that I had social anxiety and always felt unaccepted within groups of people. I always needed to make the initiative to talk to others. Now, those individuals are coming up to talk to me.

I am continuing to ignore the current reality of my relationship and I will be using this time to imagine and build the reality that I desire.  If others can do it, then I can too. 

I plan to use this forum as a way to continuously update me on my progresses. I continued to have some nice dreams with my sp last night. I was also able to manifest a goal of mine that I've been constantly working on for the past 2 years (yeah, 2 years).

During my college career I gained nearly 10-15 lbs in weight. I'm a petite 5'3" female. I couldn't fit into a lot of the clothes that I liked to wear when I started gaining this weight. I reached my highest weight last year and this past summer of 118 lbs and kept it. I was shocked. 2 weeks ago at my physical check up, I weighed myself and found that I was 116 lbs. I struggled for the longest time to be even 115 lbs. I wanted to be at least 110 lbs (my ultimate goal is 100 lbs, but my first goal was 110 lbs). So, unconsciously, every time I looked into the mirror, I imagined myself and told myself that wow I'm losing some weight. Yesterday, I decided to weigh myself for fun and for the first time in 2 weeks, i saw the numbers 109 on the scale. I stepped down and stepped back onto the scale again because I had just eaten some food prior to stepping on the scale, so I didn't think it was accurate. Again, it was 109 lbs. I freaked out, because I was so happy! I lost about 7-9 lbs within 2 weeks! I don't even go to gym, I don't exercise except for casual walks sometimes (not running), and nor do I eat clean/healthy. I did eat clean for one meal during veronica's 25 day challenge. Lol but for the past 2 weeks, I remember eating McDonald's, chicken tenders, fries, chips, mac & cheese, and other foods that many deem as unhealthy during the past 2 weeks. (not promoting anyone to eat like that of course, I just happened to eat like that because of my busy schedule). 

Wow, I didn't think that I'd be able to lost that much weight so quickly. Over the past 2 years, I've been trying different diets, exercises, yoga and etc. to lose weight with little success. I kept thinking that it was my eating habits and intake of food that caused me to gain weight. I was insecure about my body and my stomach. 

But now, I think that I am at a good weight and I continue to think that I'm losing weight everyday when I look in the mirror and I'm happy about how my body looks. I'm happy that I'm beginning to fit into the clothes that I haven't worn in a long time. 

Thank you Universe. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you.



 

For those who are reading this, please don't get discouraged that it "didn't" work for me. LOA really helped bring myself back. LOA has helped me get out of two scenarios that I really didn't want to take place recently, such as
(1) finding a way to cancel a california trip with someone that I really did not want to go with. I was going to force myself to go because it was too late to cancel and get a refund for my ticket. But then, the day before, I got a pill stuck in my throat. Although, this doesn't sound pleasant, I was actually very thankful because it gave me a medical emergency to get refunded for my plane ticket as well as a reason for not going.
(2) I also didn't want to travel to chicago this weekend for this bachelorette party, but a few days ago, I got appendicitis. So, I got surgery. This also gave me a reason to not attend without hurting anyone's feelings. I've been able to rest at home and be taken care of from A-Z, which is something that never happens. 

I am thankful even though I had to go through some physical pain, but it was all worth it. Thank you Universe.