Posted by metrosuperstar  3/07/2018 7:49 am | #1 |
Hi, I'm on Day 5 of the 'I would do anything to get my ex back' challenge - yeah, that's my version of it lol. My girlfriend left without any chance to talk last Halloween. She reached out early December and we began to see each other again but I NEVER brought up the discussion of getting back together - I followed what a bunch of relationship coaches were advising. Problem was that she was still quite resentful towards me and this eventually got the best of her so she pulled away AGAIN (before I was even healed from the first rejection) with reasons that she's too angry etc and doesn't see how this can ever work between us. While we did make love a number of times during the "failed second pass" and I was convinced that we were getting back together, we have not been in contact for 10 days now, my last message being "Sounds like you feel overwhelmed and are not ready to schedule something to meet up and talk." I'M GOING NUTS NOW. I NEED ANSWERS. I WANT TO HEAL THE RELATIONSHIP OR AT LEAST GET THE ANSWERS TO ALL THE QUESTIONS THAT I STOPPED MYSELF FROM ASKING DURING THE LAST 2-3 MONTHS! This is Day 5 and I now have my OWN increasing resentment towards her surfacing because of her unwillingness to meet up, and feeling like she lead me on for a second round... I've been able to do the visualizations but I find them painful. I'd want nothing more than to marry her and I'm being asked today to visualize my honeymoon with her. OUCH!!! I'm SO CLOSE to picking up the phone and calling her or sending her an email to see if she's ready to meet up now because I need answers and I think what we had is worth talking thru...Any help or support would be appreciated!
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Posted by Sanshi 3/07/2018 8:28 am | #2 |
The 'I would do anything to get my ex back' challenge leads always to only one outcome: never ever getting your ex back.
I can give you the answer to all of your questions. Ready? You create your own reality. That's it. There is nothing other creating in your reality. She doesn't have her personal reasons to do stuff. She reacts to what you are sending out to her. Right now that's a pretty ugly vibe of "I need you more than anything else on this world" and that will never get her back. You wasting your time with doing this challenge. You need to center yourself first and I mean that literally. You center yourself by making you the center of your life. Contacting her won't change anything, because she still responds only to what you believe and expect. So you don't work it on the outside, but on the inside. I promise you that you will never get anywhere with talking things out. Let go of the past. You created it and there were some shitty parts in it..so what? Create a better version of it. And until you did that let her out of the picture. It's not about her. It's about you and your perception of her. Nothing to change but that.
"Self-abandonment. That is the secret. We have to abandon ourselves to the state, in our love for the state, and in so doing live the life of the state and no more our present state. And to make the state alive, one must become it."
Neville Goddard ~ The Law and the Promise
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Posted by metrosuperstar 3/07/2018 9:11 am | #3 |
Thanks for your reply. I guess my hopelessness stems from the belief that she "already revisited" and that she would not revisit again. Also that what she chooses to focus on (resenting me vs having a good time when we hang out) is out of my hands. I don't know if coaching with Veronica would help.
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Posted by Cynthia 3/07/2018 9:17 am | #4 |
metrosuperstar wrote:
Thanks for your reply. I guess my hopelessness stems from the belief that she "already revisited" and that she would not revisit again. Also that what she chooses to focus on (resenting me vs having a good time when we hang out) is out of my hands. I don't know if coaching with Veronica would help.
It isn't out of your hands unless you believe that. She is behaving the way she is toward you because that is what you are projecting out and expecting of her.
The first man to raise a fist is the man who has run out of ideas.
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Posted by Sanshi 3/07/2018 9:22 am | #5 |
And that's exactly the belief (or one at least) you have to change.
Here is what I tell myself, when I have trouble changing my perspective on something:
Every single version of reality already exists right now. So it's already there.
You have the power to shift between those different realities by accepting one of those potential realities as real.
And when you know that, it's easier to expect this reality eagerly, because you know it has to show up when you accept and expect it.
Drop all the logical reasoning. That's an illusion to begin with. You get what you expect, always. And as long as you expect a "logical" order of things that will be your experience of course. But you can savely drop that, because things don't have a logical order. You are the one chosing which frame of reality you see and in which order.
I would highly recommend to first get to a place where you are okay with being single, where you are okay with yourself and don't need anybody or anything. Need gets you nowhere, at least as long as you don't like needing and I assume you don't. For LoA to work, you need to be in a place of easy and relaxed expectancy. Trying hard and needing gets you nowhere. And I am speaking from my own experience here.
"Self-abandonment. That is the secret. We have to abandon ourselves to the state, in our love for the state, and in so doing live the life of the state and no more our present state. And to make the state alive, one must become it."
Neville Goddard ~ The Law and the Promise
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Posted by authenticself 3/07/2018 11:33 am | #6 |
Pretty much she is you pushed out. She is doing nothing more than responding to the energy you are projecting outwards. So I said this before that I read something really interesting before about perspective. So let’s use her as an example you will have your perspective of her and then someone else will have an entirely different perspective of her, thus resulting in you both having different experiences with her.
It’s really on YOU when it comes to her. So first be aware of that and take responsibility for creating this scenario. Once you change the way you look at something, the thing you look at will change. But you really need to grasp the concept that YOU created this and start working within yourself and realize outside reality is nothing more than an echoe of your inner reality.
