I look at 'everyone is you pushed out' as being about themes.
If every relationship you have is abusive or he cheats then maybe look at yourself. It doesn't mean it's your fault but it means you seem to attract (or be attracted to) abusers or cheats.
A half decent therapist will tell you that. It DOES NOT mean you make him abusive. He is abusive because he is an abuser. He was before he met you and he will continue to be unless he has a willingness to engage in serious psychotherapy and confront who he is.
A lot of people who got into abusive relationships ignore or don't see the early warning signs that other people see. Usually because they're used to abuse.
Or you fall for the abusers trick - they're so broken and you're their soulmate and the only one that can help them so you carry on being treated like s##t because they've made YOU responsible for fixing them so you carry on trying to love them better, understanding and forgiving when every other woman they made a victim did the same thing. But it didn't help- because it can't.
And they tell you those other women were crazy or difficult or abusive and that's why they're the way they are. And when they hurt you its your fault- you pushed their buttons or they 'love you' so much that you really trigger their emotions of fearing you'll leave them ....cos everyone they cared about left blah blah blah
People leave because these people are abusive. I know these people inside out. You can't make them better, you will never love them enough. You need to keep yourself safe.
It is not your responsibility to make him better. The best predictor of future violence is past violence. He has been violent towards you and previous partners and his family took out a restraining order.
I'm really sorry if you think it's negative but it's the truth and there is no place on any forum to not be negative about this situation.
Last edited by Lifesagas (8/28/2017 12:17 pm)