See the problem here? You visualise and feel good for a few days and then you are looking at reality and see something completely different and you make your mood dependent of your reality again. Don't take your cue from your circumstances. It's just the reflection of your past thoughts.
"Self-abandonment. That is the secret. We have to abandon ourselves to the state, in our love for the state, and in so doing live the life of the state and no more our present state. And to make the state alive, one must become it."
Neville Goddard ~ The Law and the Promise