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4/26/2019 9:16 am  #41


Re: Started the challenge today. Desire help with letting go

To be honest I don't want to think about what happened because it doesn't matter anymore. Thinking about it won't change a thing and I've learnt what I needed to learn from it and forgiven everyone involved. But I have realised it was a reflection of a deep rooted childhood belief I've been carrying all along which in fact had destroyed many of my other relationships - not romantic, but friendships definitely were affected by that belief. Time and again I've received signs that suggested I look inwards. In an earlier post I mentioned how I accidentally received an extra T shirt of his size with the print I wanted for him. I now realise how big of a clue that was. The message in the t shirt was "True discovery lies inside". When I saw it at the shop, I initally thought about getting a matching one for him, then I said screw it and bought one for me. Only when I had reached my city (800kms away from where I was visiting) I found an extra piece in my bag, the exact same piece I had imagined for him (I've promised myself that I'll pay the shop owner when I return, there wasn't a bill or a phone number - classic villageside shop, paid in cash). I've mentioned the episode in full detail. I mean it was really affordable anyway and I had money on me, I could have purchased another piece easily, I just didn't want to buy it because it might cause pain later. But it happened. So, I'm taking the advice and looking inside lol.

My current reality is quite stressful in many different ways, not just relationship wise. I'm grateful for the kind of discovery and knowledge I'm gaining because of it but with all due respect to my current reality, I deserve better and choose to move to my desired state. I'm from a hardcore tech background so most of my friends are major skeptics and they'd rather sit and complain about the things that got away than look for ways to get it back. Personally I've had to read research papers and watch Ted talks on related topics lol ( there are a number of them actually, need to dig really deep to find them). Posting here feels comfortable, like I'm surrounded by a bunch of people who believe they deserve better and atleast have the guts to even dream about giving it another shot. Who love their SP enough to be willing to search for possibilities, to push beyond their comfort zone. Which is why I keep updating here lol. It's like instead of texting a friend about something good that happened, I put it up here

 

4/26/2019 9:24 am  #42


Re: Started the challenge today. Desire help with letting go

I totally get it! same here..I was a basket case..I had a lot to work on and I still do---I am still learning to love myself everyday..I mean Im a really cool person and really a  catch for anyone. But all of my other "relationships" were always me giving too much or thinking the worst and then it happened.  I tend to get really worked up about stupid things and I've gotten better about it.  I just started watching Veronicas stuff I like it..I also read the success stories on " The Secret": website everyday. If these people can make it happen so can I...but in the end..whatever happens..I will always put myself first. The universe definitely tests us...I asked to see him again and I did...so I gotta be grateful for that....but yeah...I already have my ring picked out   aint no way Im giving up on my baby..thanks so much for replying and have a great weekend!! Im in Maryland USA....I  hope to move to Seattle one day tho


"The part you play on the world's stage is determind by your conception of yourself"
 

4/26/2019 9:36 am  #43


Re: Started the challenge today. Desire help with letting go

I asked about seeing him again a couple of times. Then I got needy about it. Like really obsessive. I'd worry about why it's not happened yet. So I've let it go. I've done a lot of work. I'd like to relax and see it unfold ( easier said than done but it does sound so appealing! ). Veronica was the first person who was very open to the idea of attracting someone specific. Before this I've had thoughts about free will because of videos mentioning not to ask for someone specific, then there are folks who'll mention stuff like add "someone better". I mean yeah, there are folks who like milk chocolate, there are folks who like dark chocolate. I like dark chocolate. If I go to a restaurant and ask for a death by chocolate cake and the waiter comes to me with a milk chocolate cake and says, "no, this is better, please try", I won't pay him! ( I'm not comparing him to dark chocolate, it's a tough competition but I think chocolate wins this round...but, you know what I'm saying, lol)

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4/26/2019 9:41 am  #44


Re: Started the challenge today. Desire help with letting go

LOL  too funny I hear ya!  I wrote a list years ago of everything I wanted in a guy down to hispersonality, job, car he drove,  hair color height single never married no kids etc. ..everything..and this is him! so I def brought him to me. Im the same I like tall guys with dark hair and dark eyes and sleeve tattoos LOL  BOOM here he is...my sexy man. but yeah I don't do that " or someone better either" there isn't anyone better...Im 39..I should know HAHA  and  they way I see it..why the hell should someone  else get him?? no sir...he is my man dammit...MINE... *evil laugh*


"The part you play on the world's stage is determind by your conception of yourself"
 

4/26/2019 10:21 am  #45


Re: Started the challenge today. Desire help with letting go

I threw out a similar request too and 2 weeks later this weirdo arrives. I mean the opposition to our relationship was because it was obvious that if it went on, this was going in the direction of "till death do us part". We even casually discussed it. I wasn't ready, but we spoke about it and coincidentally our timelines match. Hell our retirement plans randomly match lol. Either one of us would say something and the other would go "no way...". So why someone else? I've just skipped the complicated stuff. My wedding scene is the easiest to visualise and it's become my safe place. Irrespective of what I can visualise, that scene is something I see really really clear. I can even see my friends making really inappropriate jokes like they usually do around us ( if they do on that date I swear I'll beat up each one of them after that)

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4/26/2019 9:52 pm  #46


Re: Started the challenge today. Desire help with letting go

I know I've been all positive throughout but like everyone, I feel down once in a while. Today is one of those mornings, I guess. I still can visualise. But it's been a long while of NC and everything else. I feel like I intend some sort of physical manifestation. I intend to see something in lines of what I've been asking for. Something, maybe proof of being unblocked, maybe a call, maybe a text, just a Hi will do. Something that shows me that's it's better than it was yesterday. I've tried almost every method mentioned in the internet and it's about due time that I get something. I've earned it. I am thankful for everything but I've earned my right to see atleast a fragment of what I've been looking for. I deserve it. It's okay if it's small. Again it might seem like I don't have trust in the final outcome, which is wrong. I have enough faith in the final outcome and my desires. But I feel the desire to see an outcome. If I feel this desire, it must stem from the fact that it is possible to see the outcome. If it's possible then I want to see something. Something to get me back on track better.

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4/27/2019 6:44 am  #47


Re: Started the challenge today. Desire help with letting go

I don't know if I should post it here but I lost a family member very close to me today. I'm posting here because to be honest, I'm at a 0 right now. I don't know how I'm supposed to get up. I asked for a good sign today and I don't know how that's relevant and how I should trust and hold on to anything. Forget specific person, but anything in my life at all. Suddenly I look around and all I see is emptiness and it's really difficult to get back up from here.

I don't want to bring any negativity here or spark a debate. Please if someone feels like debating, request you to stay off this thread.

If someone has any words of wisdom regarding how to get back up when you feel like you've lost all reason for living, I'd really appreciate it. I'm in a dark place and I'm searching for something to hold on to right now. I have all my end outcomes clear but from the state I am right now, I don't understand how to work my way up there.

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4/28/2019 6:53 am  #48


Re: Started the challenge today. Desire help with letting go

I'll take a break for a while from all forms of conscious manifesting. Need to rest and recharge.

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4/29/2019 2:11 am  #49


Re: Started the challenge today. Desire help with letting go

Did a 5k rum today. I need the gym, now more than ever. It's the place where I detox my body and mind and recharge my batteries. I've never done a 5k run. I have suffered from asthma throughout my life but it's been a year since I completely ditched the inhaler.

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4/29/2019 8:31 am  #50


Re: Started the challenge today. Desire help with letting go

In our case no contact was necessary. He asked for space and I'll respect it. Personally even my intuition tells me I should let him figure out what he wants and I need to clean up my garbage. When he comes back, I want it to last and I want to be happy without my past haunting me. I've messed up relationships before because I've let my past haunt me, but this one is different.

I say I'm a 0 right now. Everywhere. But I don't mention it like a bad thing. Because throughout my life it's been easier for me to work from 0s because it shows me I have nothing to lose. I won't call myself a deliberate manifester but I've seen near impossible things happening. Second, I feel I still need to work on self control constantly. If I get him back and I lose everything again because I still have issues to resolve, it will suck big time. When he stepped in, I was literally high on self love and self respect. I got over attached and my fear of losing him took over and I lost him. Happened again. I'm breaking the cycle this time.

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