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Do what I told you and be 'delusional.'
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You're clearly not ready for any kind of 'ex back' or living in the end techniques at the moment.
Just try to work on self love, feeling worthy, realising you are deserving for the moment.
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And one more thing I want to add is that if you've got a lot of these upsetting ideas from looking at his social media, social media is not a good gauge of reality. Especially with young or immature people, a lot of it is for show. If somebody's life isn't going very well, but he wants people to think it is, he will put things on his social media to make people think what he wants them to think. A lot of people want to make somebody jealous, and they know that person will be checking on them, so they'll put things on there to look like they've got a new girlfriend or boyfriend. A lot of social media is pure fiction. If that girl looks like a model, how do you know that she isn't one that he got to pose for photos? My point is not to take it seriously because a lot of it is a load of rubbish.
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I thought the same as you, as I've already replied to explain, and had the same attitude as you so I didn't bother either. I got nothing.
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Crocodile12 wrote:
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I just donโt know how to believe this! I was in a place of believing he will show up again, I was certain. I was certain there was something between us and he just wasnโt in a place for a relationship. But how can I believe and turn this around now if he is now with a girl who looks like a sports model, spending all his time with her although he didnโt wanted to spend his time with me? Thatโs just something I donโt know how to achieve. It feels delusional.
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You've got to do the right things, and you've got to give it some time and ignore the current reality whilst you're doing the right things to live in the end. You can't do it for hours or days or some other short period of time, look at the current reality, not like what you see, and say that you 'believed and were certain that there was something between you' but since things aren't yet the way you want them to be or are even the opposite of what you want them to be you're giving up in despair. You can't believe everything you read or everything you see anyway. There was something within you that caused this, and that probably took some time to create this undesirable situation, and changing the current situation, especially in your current state, is almost certainly going to take some time to change and create the result you want. You didn't really believe or were certain at all because if that were true you wouldn't give up so easily or even give up at all or let anything stop you.
Last edited by Cynthia (10/28/2018 6:55 am)
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So he is still dating this other girl. Every ******* second day - I thought he is going serious with her. I havenโt heard from him in months! Yesterday I was sad and cried and wrote it all down here. And whilst reading about self love and healing anxious attachment because I felt so down, I receive a message from him? I was in disbelief and didnโt opened it for 20 minutes. He asked how I am and then tryed to make the convo sexual. I didnโt go there and that was it.
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Last edited by Crocodile12 (10/29/2018 4:22 pm)
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Okay, you read Neville and you know everything. So I don't really get the point of the post? Okay, you don't want to apply what you know. That's okay. But maybe then a different forum would be better for you? A forum where people deal with healing their heartbreak. That's where you can tell your "how it is" stories and nobody bothers. There is no point in sharing it here really. It just shows that you aren't doing what you are supposed to do. Telling it "how it is" will do you no good whatsoever neither those reading your posts.
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Sanshi wrote:
Okay, you read Neville and you know everything. So I don't really get the point of the post? Okay, you don't want to apply what you know. That's okay. But maybe then a different forum would be better for you? A forum where people deal with healing their heartbreak. That's where you can tell your "how it is" stories and nobody bothers. There is no point in sharing it here really. It just shows that you aren't doing what you are supposed to do. Telling it "how it is" will do you no good whatsoever neither those reading your posts.
Yeah I know it technically. It is just hard for me to apply because I did apply it with my ex and it wasnโt a great outcome for me. I have a hard time believing I can turn this situation around when it seems I now lost him to abother girl he is seeing everyday. I try to believe though without being to hard on myself.
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What exactly did you apply with your ex?
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The problem is in every manifestation there is "this other girl". When you are sick, the doctor tells you that it can't be healed and you buy into it. When you try to win the lottery, they say that the odds are very very low and you buy into it. For every bigger feeling manifestation "this girl" will show up in some shape or form. Of course I use the girl only as an analogy for what you give so much power in your physical world that it keeps you from getting anywhere. The mistake everyone is making, including myself, is that we get into a spiral: We start to imagine something ("omg, he will find another girl" for example), we feel that real, sit with it for as long as it takes to become reality. And then, we base our next imaginal act on that newly created reality ("omg, while she is with him, I can't be with him. Maybe they will stay together and marry!!"). The problem is that you can't leave this cycle when you keep doing what you are doing. Unless you give something, anything really, in the physical world power, you won't get to where you want to be. So the problem isn't the other girl. The problem is you insisting that the physical world is more real than your imagination.