The mere feeling of guilt shows you that you are focused in the wrong direction while having that feeling. I think there are lots of opinions on the topic of morals and in the end, you have to decide which kind you want to apply for your life. For me, I would see it as morally wrong, if you went and punched her in the face or stabbed her with a knife. But your thoughts are yours, aren't they? Is it morally right to force you to think thoughts that does feel crappy so that another person can feel better? I assume that those thoughts about them being together while you want him don't feel good, right? It would feel better, if you would feel that he totally wants you. So wouldn't it be morally wrong to keep thinking the thoughts that hurt you? I mean it's just thought. Most people don't care at all what they are thinking. They curse people in their minds. Is that morally right? They aren't even aware of what they are doing all the time. So as long as you imagine the best possible outcome for all parties, I personally don't see a moral problem here. As long as you don't imagine her dying, you are fine. Your feelings will guide you anyway. What one could define as morally wrong won't feel good to you.

Desires are nothing you can control. They come from your higher part and you wouldn't have them, if there wasn't a way to realize them. I know what you are talking about. Happened to me as well that I suddenly wanted a guy back after a while. I can't explain where it was coming from - no idea. But I think if something like that comes up for you there is something to learn/experience there. If you don't follow it, you will probably have regrets about it later. On the other hand, it's your choice, if you want to follow the hint or not.

Cynthia wrote:

You can only go by superficial, outward appearances. For all you know, he might be miserable and want you back. Maybe he does, maybe he doesn't.

That's so important. You can never know. There is no way to figure out how they really feel about their relationship. Even if they told you they were the happiest person in the world, it's no proof that this is accurate. The only thing that is important is your assumption about it and that is based on your beliefs. So what he feels is really unimportant. What is important is what you assume he feels. That's what creates your reality. And when you can't ever know if he is happy or not, why not assuming the best you can?

Guys, thank you ever so much. I really appreciate all of your help, and taking the time to get back to me. I guess we're going for it then! I will let you know how it goes.

Thank you for everything  

I have a success story of attracting back a specific person after being split for a while. We ended up splitting again because we both were growing in different directions and I realized that it wasn't really her I wanted - I just wanted to repeat the past and have that great connection again, I wanted to feel loved and admired. And my ego couldn't get over the split, I hate failing. I would reminisce and imagine her and me and it felt so happy, it felt like a broken part of me was finally mended. But when we went out again, it was obvious we both changed and it wasn't the happy experience I thought it would be, I wanted more than just her - I wanted someone I could be me with, but the problem was that we both changed with time so she was not a good match for the new me like she was for the old me. We still text sometimes, we still see each other sometimes. Sometimes I feel desire for her, sometimes I think I should try again and attract her back - but that's usually when I'm feeling stressed, lonely, and unloved. When we feel this way we tend to go back to our comfort zone forgetting the less than rosy aspects of it, like craving sugar when we're stressed. But when I'm genuinely happy and feeling loved - I don't really think of her or feel desire for her.

So, I'm coming at this from a different angle than most. Take time to really figure out what you want. You might feel desire for him, but that desire may be because you're feeling unloved and stressed or your ego wants to fix the past because it hasn't been at peace since (and if that's the case - forgiveness, self-love, and forming better beliefs about yourself is probably better). I'm not saying this to be mean or to discourage you, but take it from someone who has a "success story"...getting a person back isn't really a success story, the real success story is the love and happiness and self-connection. Self-knowledge is power. So first take time to reflect, meditate, get to the root of your desire and feelings, trust your intuition. I wish I trusted my intuition more instead of always giving in to my ego because the ego is always very limited, it holds us in.

Then here's what I would do: focus on the feeling of love and being loved, find the feeling that you already have a very happy relationship that makes you feel so happy, loved, and connected. Don't focus on your ex, just imagine it's done, imagine you're feeling wonderful after spending time with your boyfriend, and go for the feeling of being loved. Don't think of it, think from the position of having it.

Why shouldn't you focus on your ex? Because you could end up being more attached to the idea of him which makes it so much harder to move on, to accept love from others, and harder to accept your different paths in life. If you still have junk from the past like anger and sadness, focusing on the ex can make you feel much more imbalanced, so you're probably better off letting go of the old baggage first. This doesn't mean your ex will not come back into your life, but what do you really want - your ex or the feelings of love and connection, the experiences you expect to have by being with him? Most people on this forum want an ex back so badly and they will tell you not to focus on the "how", but because they are so attached to their ex they forget to mention that the ex is a "how" too. What they really want is the state of love and happy relationship, the ex is just another "how" for that to happen.