Indeed it has. Your growth is inspiring.

Lately, I'm more and more interested in the spiritual aspect of LoA. I don't longer care so much about changing my physical reality. I'm much more interested in changing myself, what of course will finally lead to a changed reality, but it feels completely different and the focus is placed differently.

I realised that nobody will ever fully get this stuff. I searched for all the pieces of the puzzle and after more than a year of searching, I finally found the last piece and started to put them all together. I finished it, looked at the picture...and realised that within every piece of the puzzle there are other puzzles and missing pieces I wasn't aware of before. It's like the Mandelbrot tree. This journey will never end. Everytime you think you have figured it all out, there will be a new layer, a new depth of understanding.

I discovered one part of the puzzle that I gave not enough importance to. It's the feeling component. Thinking nice thoughts isn't enough. If you feel resistance while thinking them, the opposite will manifest. The thought is the steering wheel, the feeling the engine. Even when you steer in the right direction, you can still drive backwards. Feeling good will make your car drive forwards, feeling less than good will make it drive backwards.
I focused on feeling pure love just for a few days. And within not even a week, I fell for a guy who was already there, but I didn't notice him. Feeling your way into what you want is a miracle maker!

Blue wrote:

Sanshi you boosted me so so high after reading this ❤ You and Ace are such angels.
Please keep us all updated! I'm so excited every time I read a new post from you!
 

Thank you blue.

I wanted to update, but I read my last post and I had nearly written the same thing again. It still looks bright. We hung out a few times and what I intended weeks ago manifested: we stayed in contact after the reason we even met isn't longer there and we wouldn't meet anymore anywhere. Everything has fallen into place so nicely and finally lead to us keeping in touch over Skype. He is very careful on one hand, but makes it very clear that he likes me in a subtle way. I don't feel the pressure to make anything happen. I just let it unfold nicely.

What I have learned through this experience with him is this: when you lean back and relax, when you don't feel the need to make something happen, when you are centered in yourself, when you feel light and positive about things, when you visualise/daydream naturally, then things happen. It will still take some time till it manifests depending on what beliefs you hold about the subject, but it will happen. When I decided that I wanted this guy, I had absolutely NO sign that he was interested in me. I just assumed it and evidence followed in less than a week. Since then, everything is just flowing.

Sanshi read The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. It talks about the fight you gave up and I like to read it from time to time. Even when I am feeling really great because it is nice to know everything I came up from looking within on my own is something that is true. That what the book teaches is something I knew and I just smile at knowing and reading a book about what I know.