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Hey guys I could really use a little help. Last week I was on top of the world. I'd done really well in a competition (I'm an athlete), I was getting congrats from people I hadn't seen in years and to top it off, my love messaged me too. Nothing romantic, she just wanted some training advice. But then she messaged me the next day briefly. And then the next! I was so grateful, I felt like everything was suddenly working out, I was relaxed and filled with love and excitement. Visualising what would come, I felt "my love is here!", I felt unstoppable.
Then yesterday it all came tumbling down. I found out that she had been responding to dirty messages and pictures several men had been sending her.
Now I feel utterly dejected. I've been in a totally low vibration since. I've been trying to tell myself that "Circumstances don't matter" and "it's all just an echo of previous thoughts" - but I still just feel awful. To the point I genuinely want to give up, but then that thought makes me feel worse. I adore her, and I know she has feelings for me. But now I'm unsure of even that.
Has anyone else suffered these kind of setbacks. These "Why am I even bothering?" Moments. If so, how'd you pull yourself out?
Ive decided to throw myself into my training but even there I find myself thinking of her, and currently they aren't good thoughts. I want to move things even further than what came about last week, and now it's like I've gone back to square one.
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The problem here is obvious: Your happiness is completely conditional. You win and get positive feedback from people and by observing that, you feel good. You find something out that doesn't please you and by observing it, you feel bad. It's like sitting down and writing a story. After that, you praise the parts of your story you really do like, but then there is a part you really want to be different and you complaining about it all day. Don't complain, write this part anew.
She and what she does is just a reflection of yourself. Don't make the reflection more permanent by focusing on it. What do you prefer? Focus on that instead. Don't be an observer, be an creator.
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I think self confidence is really important too! (and plus you're an amazing athlete, and getting compliments by others too right?)
you just have to tell yourself "what she does doesn't matter, who she's responding to doesn't matter, but I AM CLEARLY THE BEST MAN SHE COULD EVER BE WITH HAHAHAHA just look at my sexy athletic body."
and plus, she's only responding, most likely to boost her inner ego, it's really nothing. so don't worry.
when my boyfriend of 3 years left me 2 months ago, within the same week he was already flirting with new girls, even went on DATES with them...was I sad? yeah a little, but my mindset was stronger than that, I was like "well he can do whatever the hell he wants, he can see whoever he wants, HELL EVEN IF HE IS SLEEPING WITH GIRLS, I don't careeeeeeeeee. I'm still clearly the best girl for him. those girls ain't even CLOSE to my level. They're not even QUALIFIED to be my rivals."
That's how firm I was, even if the situation looked hopeless (like c'mon going on dates with several new girls already? after 3 long serious years of relationship?)
then you know what happened? a week ago, his best friend told me "I just wanna tell you this...actually...there are absolutely no girls in his life. NOBODY. No girls are even CLOSE to your level. He still thinks about you."
I truly believe in LoA and our minds create reality.
It's because of my confidence and how strong my mindset was believing I am THE ONE for him, even if the reality was that he was going out with so many girls, it didn't affect me or my belief. At the end, none of the girls matter to him, there are no girls in his life that could be as important as me in his mind : )
sorry for the long comment, but I just wanna say, YOU ARE WORTH EVERYTHING!
You are the BEST guy in her whole entire life, you just have to believe it.
Tell yourself, none of those guys matter.
DID THEY FUXXING WIN A COMPETITION? no they didn't lol
Be confident and BELIEVE. Have faithΒ Β
Hope this helps a little.
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Once I realised that what I was observing didn't matter a hoot, it really helped.Β Just realise you're witnessing the 'past in motion' before you.Β But you can create something new by focussing on it and affirming it as the current reality and then it has to come to pass.
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Susiewoo wrote:
Once I realised that what I was observing didn't matter a hoot, it really helped.Β Just realise you're witnessing the 'past in motion' before you.Β But you can create something new by focussing on it and affirming it as the current reality and then it has to come to pass.
The past in motion..I absolutely love that. <3
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Thank you so much guys. Everything you've said has helped and I know you're right.
The fact that I now see that I have been acting as an observer in this situation, whilst a deliberate creator in others is a big revelation. I can see where I've been going wrong.
And thanks for the confidence boost piggy! You're right! Those guys aren't even on my level LOL!
On that note, any further advice on the subject of "unconditional happiness", or the transition from Observer to deliberate Creator?
Thank you all again, this forum really does help.
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Yes, I have an adive indeed. I was a magnificent observer myself, so I know what I'm talking about. I'm still in the learning process but the basis is there.
First of all, you have to really be aware of the fact that reality is a reflection. Try to always take a step back from a situation and be aware that's a reflection. If you have a strong emotional response and start thinking obsessive about the situation, then you are still observing. But when you reflect your behaviour and your thoughts, you can recognize those situations later and learn for the next time.
Next thing is, you have to think about what you want. When you see something what you don't like, search for the opposite of it that you would like, and think about that. When you walk around, don't think about random stuff but think deliberately. Maybe make a list of things you like to think about and everytime you find your thoughts out of control, think of a subject from the list - can be anything..I love to think about the perfection of nature for example.
Practice it all the time, not just with your girl. Trust me, within a few days doing this, I became SO much happier.
Sure, there are situations you have to face, but don't do it more than necessary. If you have to do something you hate, do it as quick as possible. If you can't do it right now, write it down, so that you don't have to remember it again and again.
It's very unfamiliar in the beginning, but it's so worth it