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This is a personal suggestion, I'm not really sure about what your relationship was like or is like really with your person, if you had a deep connection or if it was cut before it went too deep, if you're both in mature places life or if you're both younger, but I would say that honestly there does come a time and place between two people where it's right to talk candidly, like the idea of the 'talk' can seem unromantic, but good communication is the basis of a good relationship. Like you could just tell him that you just don't want to text him like that if he's seeing other people because you're looking for someone who can just be with you..or ready to take the adventure of being in a couple and working together..because we really don't live in movies, we do need to talk things out and people aren't going to always magically show up at our door with roses and propose, they're going to want to talk and communicate and feel things out slowly and honestly and each person needs to be vulnerable and then love happens and intimacy happens that way
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ShootingStar wrote:
This is a personal suggestion, I'm not really sure about what your relationship was like or is like really with your person, if you had a deep connection or if it was cut before it went too deep, if you're both in mature places life or if you're both younger, but I would say that honestly there does come a time and place between two people where it's right to talk candidly, like the idea of the 'talk' can seem unromantic, but good communication is the basis of a good relationship. Like you could just tell him that you just don't want to text him like that if he's seeing other people because you're looking for someone who can just be with you..or ready to take the adventure of being in a couple and working together..because we really don't live in movies, we do need to talk things out and people aren't going to always magically show up at our door with roses and propose, they're going to want to talk and communicate and feel things out slowly and honestly and each person needs to be vulnerable and then love happens and intimacy happens that way
He seemed very upset when I was being honest with not texting him. He said he doesn't care, but he would have not gotten mad if he didn't care. He feels I was not able to handle the truth of him dating someone else, I was able to. I felt very neutral because her existence is irrelevant to my story. But I also told him I do not want to settle for less. I told him how I feel about him and that I just need proper healing.
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There's always this danger of falling into on-again-off-again relationships when this happens. Personally, I like those relationships because I have issues with commitment haha but most people don't ! So if you want to avoid that, you need to be loving but honest, 'are you in the right place for a relationship ?' or 'have you ever thought of us getting back together?' non threatening questions to feel him out like that is good, it takes the anxiety away and the guessing...and you can start off from a firm base, as long as he's honest
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ShootingStar wrote:
There's always this danger of falling into on-again-off-again relationships when this happens. Personally, I like those relationships because I have issues with commitment haha but most people don't ! So if you want to avoid that, you need to be loving but honest, 'are you in the right place for a relationship ?' or 'have you ever thought of us getting back together?' non threatening questions to feel him out like that is good, it takes the anxiety away and the guessing...and you can start off from a firm base, as long as he's honest
He has thought about starting over with me before dating the other girl. But he could not get over our past situation. That's why he is with someone new.
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He's still interested in you. From a more realistic POV, sometimes it's fun to flirt with other people even when we we are into someone else or dating someone else. And if it's someone we share a strong connection with, it can be extra nice to flirt with them sometimes, even if they're an ex.
Maybe he's unsure. On one hand, he wants love and fun so he's dating someone else. On the other hand, he still wants you but doesn't know how to deal with the tension? So he flirts with you hoping that you'll flirt back? Maybe it's not that he doesn't have anything meaningful to say but he starts out light and flirty to see what mood you're in, to see if you'll flirt back, to see where you are emotionally? It's difficult to put yourself out there and admit your true feelings or say meaningful stuff if you think it'll just cause more tension or lack of response. So maybe this is his way of seeing of the coast is clear to start again? Maybe he's trying to open up better communication and this is a step to everything else?
The cycle between good and bad moods is normal. It's like you're trying to find your balance and settle into a consistent higher feeling. And you don't have to do exercises like visualization and affirmations alone to feel love and happiness. Don't force it. Sometimes just playing a great video game all Saturday or going to the zoo on a beautiful day can make me feel happier than visualization or affirmations ever could. It's all about reaching for higher vibrations by feeling better in your heart first, right? Either way, neutral is better than being depressed and over time you will find ways to feel positive again and get out of neutral. It's more about being patient with yourself and doing what really makes you feel better deep down.
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Ohhh sorry ok I was a little bit confused, so in his reality he is dating someone else, ok ...well ....that relationship is a sham haha. At least you can go to bed at night knowing that. But as for you, well if in his reality he's with someone, then in his reality he is kind of cheating ? And in his reality you're someone he's cheating with? Is that right? Well that's not what you want in your reality because let's be real, the realities do need to match or merge towards matching, no point living in a world where you're being taken advantage of, if the reality is not the one you want fully, ignore it and don't accept it is the key So you need to ignore him and not accept it as it is right now, honestly it'll do more harm than good. Don't have your blinders on, remember we teach people how to treat us, right now you're in danger of teaching him he can treat you as his other woman, eh nope! None of that allowed ! That is not the reality you want! Again, you need to start thinking outside the box I would agree totally with Cherished in your case. Also maybe your desire is not him, your desire is a wholesome loving relationship with a man who is into hollistic medecine and maybe yoga and maybe has long hair and travels to India every year and you and him sit outside and meditate together every morning before you have your breakfast of matcha tea or whatever haha I don't know you at all but I'm sure you have a reality that you want that has little things in it like that Small things, mine is I want someone to discuss news and go to festivals with. So yeah, think outside the box because right now, I'm not so sure if he is going to bring your desired reality via the way he is actually treating you right now. Also the fact you're not excited I would say is another indication. I mean, if you're in love with someone and everything is going great and your dream reality is ocuring you would be excited !
Last edited by ShootingStar (5/15/2016 2:20 pm)
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I read that a neutral state means you converting from negative to positive. I mean I have my happy moments at times.
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Also, I did live him be, he needs to do some thinking, hard thinking. I don't like being the side girl, so he needs to evaluate himself. Right now I need to create my story.
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And if he is kind of asking you if the fact he's dating someone else bothers you, then say yes it does bother you actually O.o Bothers you quite a bit. In the spirit of love and compassion and trust, he is not in a good vibration and is being quite deceitful and selfish right now. It's better when you can to leave situations that are in a low vibration, like being in some kind of love triangle thing is a low vibration. You're a universe onto yourself, you're MORE than enough for one person, you don't need to be someone's second person. You can be his friend, but he's making a mockery out of relationships the way he's acting, basically he's not being an honorable guy and you want someone who is and doesn't play with you like a rag doll. I got my ex back after terrible issues, issues that literally were off the charts, but I did it by not letting him play with me as a back up or anything other than his number one or else just platonic, no in between flirtationship will do for us !
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I think his behaviour is very immature and emotionally unhealthy. In my opinion, I truly think you need to shut it down for a while. I feel you are hanging onto this so hard that you block your own manifestation. That's not to say you can't one day he with him, but the fact remains that your current vibration and his current vibration are definitely not a match. Allow him the space he needs to mature, and for YOU, you seriously need to find some much-deserved self love and appreciation of yourself. Because this kind of behaviour is in my eyes rather unacceptable. That's just me, but I strongly believe that if your opinion of YOURSELF was higher you would not allow him to behave in this way. And from an LOA standpoint, you wouldn't attract this kind of behaviour from him in the first place. You MUST put you first. And you must expect they he also puts you first. And right now, you aren't. You deserve to be, and I would be using this time to discover a whole new me that feels entirely worthy.