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Okay, so I just remembered when my spirit guide visited me in my dreams with those three steps: 1.Forgiveness 2.Heal 3.Be Happy. We already moved past the forgiveness stage, but we are definitely not in the happy stage. More so in the healing stage. My question is how do we rekindle, why is it harder than before? I am trying to remember what that is.
As a person I healed, and I know he can get to know me better as a person. We can reconnect, but here is my problem, as much as he was the one who reached out to me, I feel a sudden wall between us. I never enforced a relationship on him because I am trying to reconnect with him, but he keeps pushing the friendship thing. Also, a sudden fear came over me that he may never want to see me in person. Healing takes time, but it has always been the one thing I failed at doing. So can someone please explain to me how we are supposed to reconnect and heal? Please, I really want to understand. Especially since it is where I always go wrong.
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Okay, I will be honest, I have been slacking. Although, I enjoy doing the work, I have been so tired from work. I did Lanie's Method for three days and gave gratitude. But I feel like I am not doing enough. Or am I overthinking. Also, could my slacking be why there is still some distance between us, even though I can feel the desire existing between us too?
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Also, there is one more thing that is making me feel discouraged. The fact that my best friend is living with her boyfriend and how I am not living with mine anymore. I live in an overwhelming environment that I work to keep peace in. But.....seeing how they live together makes me miss him too much. I miss when we were living together.
A lot has happened that has been bringing me down. But I am not trying to be negative. Nor am I looking for motivation because I can push myself back up. But I am really slacking motivation right now due to so much around me draining me. It's more like I am too exhausted to even push myself. But all I want is just ideas on techniques I can try to connect, as well as answers to my lack of motivation being the cause of why he is still kind of distant.
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He is distant because you aren't a vibrational match. What I get from your posts is that you somehow feel responsible for "healing" him or something.. And that's simply not possible. You can't do the work for someone else. The best you can be for someone is happy, healthy and steady in your own alignment. The rest is something he has to figure out. There is no good reason to feel sorry or sad for another, because what effectively happens is that then YOU drop your vibration and are unable to help them at all. This shouldn't make you exhausted. Perhaps take a break and come back and revisit this another time. You need to put the focus back onto you.
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I am happy today enough to see more clear. My moods are not really up and down. Just have not been sleeping and eating right, so it is affecting my emotions. Anyway, I scripted about Dali (Isaac) today:
It is like he no longer knows how to respond to me. What am I speaking about? Well, Dali seems to have trouble speaking to me. In his texts, he comes off very shy with responsive texts full of stuttering and asking stupid questions just to have the conversation flowing. He would often call me beautiful and say that he misses me. He would email me photos of things that remind him of me. He even said that he loved me a couple of times and that he can see a long lasting future with me in it. One day he asked if he can call me because he really needed to hear my voice. I agreed to it and we had a two hour conversation about our passions. Since then he always called. Now he wants to take me out on a date and surprise me about where we are going. The Universe brought me the most amazing person ever.
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I had a break down a few days ago, but then I remembered faith and believing the best will happen. I see signs of him caring, I feel that wall tumbling down. He loves me, it is clear as day. Somehow I feel us coming closer each day.
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I think for many here, the best thing they can do is focus completely on their vibration and reach alignment. Everything else falls into place. This has been my experience. Self love and self worth trumps any ex back success. Trust me.