I wanted to come in and share the states I were in when I attracted my lover back twice before because I think it fits the theme of this thread. (During these times I didn't know about LOA)

1. The first time he ended things with me, saying he needed time to himself. I begged and pleaded and that didn't work (now I know it never was going to work). For about a month I tried so hard to focus on myself and do things for me. (we weren't in contact during this month). I didn't do this to bring him back. I did it because I wanted to feel better and to me focusing on myself and moving on was going help me heal and get over it. I wasn't perfect at doing this and was still upset often. Then one day, I was hanging out with my family, not doing anything special at all, and said "you know what, I'm happy." In that moment, for the first time in a long time, I was unconditionally happy. That day he contacted me. 

2. The second time he ended things I was a COMPLETE MESS. I cried allll the time and felt hopeless. Just getting through the day was a struggle. Then one day I contacted a psychic who said we were "meant to be." I paid $300 for a 'cleansing'. Right before I went to bed I was to sit in a salt bath, hold an earth stone (whatever the heck that is), and light a white candle while visualizing being happy with him (she provided all of the materials). After two or three baths (I can't remember) he came back and was saying/doing all of the things I had wanted, but not how I had visualized. I didn't care though because he was back. I wasn't in a state of total bliss or extreme self love. Although I did let go because I somewhat believed that everything was going to work.  

I wrote all of that to say, I don't think there's a concrete formula for this ish. I don't have the answers. I don't know if there is one solid answer. Self love will probably keep them around though. That's what I was lacking before and so my insecurities and doubts manifested him continuously leaving.�

I actually have one more question for you.. how did you get over not thinking about your guy and the other girl? I tend to go deep into negativity thinking about them together. Like while I'm over here he's over there making memories with her: talking on the phone, facetiming, and it's almost Christmas so they're buying each other gifts, spending time together etc. It's hard because I want to be doing those things with him and they're growing closer together which is going to make it harder for him to come back to me

My guy ended things in April 2017 and has been seeing another woman ever since. They recently made their relationship public via Instagram. They seem very happy together and very much in love. How do you believe that you can attract your person back in situations like this?

I definitely want him, but I don't see how in the world he can come back. Also, I think if I've been doing the "work" and he hasn't come back in 8 months, what's going to make him come back any time soon? Maybe I'm just meant to live with this hurt? In the 8 months that I've been consciously trying to manifest him things seem to only go in the complete opposite direction that I want them to go in. In the 8 months, other men have expressed interest in dating me, but I wasn't interested.

I'm aware that my doubt and attention to reality are blocking my desire, that's why I'm trying to clear this up. I don't intend for this to be a negative thread, I'm just trying to find a way to move past this. I've read success stories of people with similar situations, but for some reason in my mind my situation just seems hopeless. There has to be a way though, I want there to be a way for him to return to me in the most beautiful way. Help please

Sanshi wrote:

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You are the operant power and you have to do something before your world can change.
 

No disappointment over here. I'm thankful for you. I need this. I've been at it for months and haven't yet achieved my goal, so I need to shift. By 'strong belief' I meant believing in my desired outcome with as little doubt coming in as possible.

What exactly do you mean by "you have to do something before your world can change"? What is the "do" you're referring to? I know I have to change myself before my world can change.

Thanks! You answered my question perfectly. I’ve stopped thinking about my guy and “attracting him back” because I think that was really putting out contradicting energy. I would visualize multiple times a day. It would feel sooo great and sooo real, but then I would just notice that he wasn’t around (along with constantly checking and analyzing whatever he was posting on social media).

I’m hoping this “letting go” approach works. Whenever I think about him I just imagine him single and send love.