whitebutterflies11 wrote:

Yes, I've improved some too with my perfectionism. But it's still very strong as it's been engrained since birth basically for me. My POI is the same as yours! He's not an ex. He's an almost was as well.

Personally, I think that's worse than him being an ex. For me, I know I constantly think about the what ifs. Because we didn't have a full fledged relationship, I have no grudges or disappointments that others have with their ex. I feel like him and I haven't exercised our potential. How could you give up on something that hasn't run its course? It drives me crazy. Sorry, rant over! Lol

I will look into those cds. Thank you!

I agree.  I think an almost was is worse than an ex for the same reasons.  In my case, it's all been long distance, and there has been a certain amount of hurt and disappointment between us.  I certainly have felt hurt and disappointed by the way he treated me - just a part of it was loads of broken promises, although very small ones, accumulated over time, making me feel disrespected and like I didn't matter much to him, even though for a while he had told me I did.  For me actions speak far louder than words, and when somebody promises they will do something and then they do the opposite instead, especially when it happens over and over again, it gets to me after a while.  The final straw that made me tell him off in a major way was soon before he went to live with his older son, which he did just before Christmas. He had voluntarily promised to tell me his big news that he'd been waiting to hear first before he told anybody else, and he said that numerous times. It was only the following week when his big news came through, and he told everybody but me first, and then made a point of telling me that he'd told everybody else first - his daughter, his sons, his father, and I don't know who all else and how excited they supposedly all were, which I actually rather doubt, because I got the impression from

PrettyFlamingo wrote:

Nice! Try visualising marriage and commitment before a baby though.

I agree, but it sounds like there's already a baby on the way.
 

whitebutterflies11 wrote:

Wow! Thanks, Cynthia!

I'm sure Neville's imagining and visualizations were not as complicated as I am making mine out to be. I think my over-analyzing is what is causing the discomfort with the whole process. I had a conversation today with a friend who practices LOA for a lot in her life and has had a ton of success. She told me she would just imagine a whole lot. During the day ,at different times each day. She told me she seems like a bit of a kook because she lives in a la-la world basically. So I think I need to just get into a routine that works for me.

I started the 25 day challenge (I just finished day 2). I like how the challenge gives me gives specific scenarios for us to carry out in visualizations. This also helps me control my thoughts. I'm both excited and hopeful that this challenge allows me to keep my vibration up & feel good.

Any more suggestions/tips for me about this journey/process?? Thank you again for all of your help. You're a gem

 
It sounds like you're doing everything right. I think you're trying to be too perfectionistic, and you don't need to be. I'm trying to get over perfectionism myself. I've been thinking about doing the 25 day challenge myself.  I started it a couple of times but didn't get beyond about day 3.

To try to keep myself thinking the right way, I listen to Neville Goddard most days, sometimes everyday, have listened to a fellow Brit read some of his books a lot as well, and I've also watched Veronica's videos a lot, especially because I like her positivity. I also printed out the posts I could find here by jensherratt about getting her man back and read them when I need a boost because they've really helped me. This hasn't been easy for me because I had a hugely negative upbringing that continued on far beyond my upbringing that I have been trying to overcome for most of my life. I have also got self help cds and dvds that I find helpful, hypnosis or altered state programming, by

Don't dwell on the other girl. Don't even think about her.

Yes, imagine things going the way you want them to, and when you are with him relax and be yourself.