Wow, congratulations 

Hi, I'm new to the forum. I literally just joined a few hours ago. 

Typically, I would just say.. sorry for your loss or sending you my condolences with a call, but since I have decided to be on this path of consciously creating a better, loving relationship with him... I'm a bit torn. Our past few encounters have also made me feel stuck on what to do. I do recognize how I'm probably blowing this way out of proportion, but I'd like some different perspectives. So, his grandma just died. He went down there Saturday to visit with her and then she ended up in the hospital. I know all of this info because of a simple text. 

Let me try my best to sum up my situation and then bring it back to my dilemma. We haven't been together in a year and a half (closer to two). He moved out. I begged, pleaded, tried to manipulated, talked his ears off, cried so many rivers (we all know how that **** show ended up). I slumped into a depression. I snapped out of end the later part of 2016 (started dressing up, walking, feeling great, took myself on dates, started to someone, got intimate with that same someone, just felt great and happy. My love and I hadn't talked since I decided I needed to just let go. Fast forward 2017, I'm talking to two guys. I'm really interested in one. I'm feeling hopeful. Fast forward to the last week of June 2017. He text me while I'm at work. I was shocked since I got ignored, felt like he hated my guts, he told me he had no feelings, seemed to have gotten me out of his system and wasn't ever going to look back. We were intimate. The experience was very different ( a great one, I felt empowered). Fast forward two weeks, I''m realizing I still had strong feelings for him and feeling like what we did was a huge mistake. I call him to check on him and he tells me he's good, he's about to move. My heart drops, bounces back in my chest, and tangles up into a tight, messy ball. I know I shouldn't have but