I have the same question, is it possible to create a healthy relationship with them.

Cynthia wrote:

Yes, of course it's possible, but unless you want to do some revision on past events first, you've got to put the past behind you and stop thinking and repeating and reliving all of the undesirable events of the past in your mind and telling yourself and anybody else who will listen how horrible the other person was to you and start looking at things completely differently. If you want to have a completely different experience, you're got to completely change the way you think about the other person. You could do all the scripting in the world from now until the end of time or whatever else you might do, but if you've got even part of your mind on the past and are full of doubts and fears and other negative thoughts and don't really believe that things will or can change, you might as well not bother. You've got to be singleminded and focussed only on what you want and believe that it is yours now. The only 'letting go' you need to do is of the past and any and all negativity.

If you'd even consider the possibility that what Neville said was true about other people being you pushed out, which really means that they reflect back to you what you think about yourself and about them, and there is evidence that this true, then why wouldn't you create a positive image of them in your mind being just the sort of person you'd want them to be, treating you exactly the way you'd like to be treated, and of yourself being just the sort of person you want to be, and the relationship between you being exactly the way you'd want it to be? This is the only way you're going to change the situation. The more you dwell on the undesirable events and behaviours of the past, the longer things will stay that way. You've got to put the bad past out of your mind, shut the door on it, bolt it, and focus only on what you want, and whenever the negative thoughts recur, as they likely will in the beginning, turn your mind away from them and back to what you ideally want. You've got to train your mind to do this, and it gets easier with practice. Live in the end in your imagination of having your desire just as you want it to be as though it is already an accomplished fact right now, feel like it's real and like you have it now, and repeat daily until it manifests, having faith and belief that this will work and persevering with patience. Don't do anything that might shake your faith like looking at social media or indulging in negative thoughts of the past or any fear thoughts or doubts or worrying about current outward appearances.You're creating something completely different now and none of that is relevant, so don't give it any power. Be bold. Now is not the time to be tentative.

thank you very much cynthia! much appreciated
i always learn valuable things from you