WordQrator wrote:

Hi

I have been married for 11 years however 8 years back another person came into my life who I eventually fell In love with. This other person has also been married for 14 years. Neither one of us wants to leave our respective spouses.

We’ve had the most wonderful emotional connection over the last 8 years. It started from casual texting to meeting to once in a week to meeting everyday and texting 24/7.

Things were not always smooth but we’ve been emotional anchors for each other for this duration.

Last year is when things took a turn for the worst when I landed up in some legal trouble and was wrongfully incarcerated for 3 days. On my subsequent restless from incarceration I found myself a totally different person. So much so that I decide to cut all ties with this wonderful person, convincing myself to be gathering bad Karma because of this secret relationship.
I became inert to all her crying and emotional pleas to become normal. I shunned her away and even said hurtful and mean things that may have pierced her heart.

But over a period of 3-4 months the voice of my guilty conscience simmered down and things were back to normal.

Within 4 months she started having problems in her marriage owning to which she began neglecting me and spending much lesser time with me.

So much so most of our time spent was fighting over my sulks and whining for lack of time she afforded me.

She suspected that her husband was involved with another woman, which probably triggered in her a sense of guilt.

The fights escalated and both our healths were affected.

One such incident triggered a very bad fight and within a span of two months I saw her drift away from me.

We stopped communicating for 3 days and ever since she has distanced herself from me emotionally.

We text every day and speak whenever it’s possible for her, but she’s buffered herself from any or all
emotional connect with me .

She says she needs time and space to salvage her marriage because that is top priority.

She says she would not be texting me all day , and would only do so when she has the time or feels like it .
In short she’s become an indifferent person who couldn’t careless if I went away from her life.

She reminds me of myself last year the cold hearted person who couldn’t be bothered by her crying.

Having said that she says to me that the fact that she’s still here despite my misgivings means that she wants it to last .
That she tries everyday to rekindle the feelings of the past but just that those bad memories of me trying to control her life prevent her from returning.

It feels to me that I’m the one who is holding on to this relationship and the day I let go it will be over.

I’ve tried all forms of manifestation techniques but I’m so miserable without her feeling the way she felt about me that I am unable to even feel it stringing back together in my mind .

She’s stills texts or calls me everyday, morning and night ..we have some natural moments but then it all becomes machinized.

Please advise me ! I need your help desperately ..

Cheers !

Wait y’all want to stay married when you have this deep connection with each other? Like you have romantic feelings or just friendship feelings. This kinda sounds messed up. She’s emotionally cheating with you and now that her husband mah be cheating out of the fact she may be emotionally unavailable due to her connection with you she now wants to fix it so he doesn’t cheat on her but yet she can still emotionally cheat with you? Why not divorce and be with each other. This is seriously unfair to your spouses. Like y’all get to emotionally cheat but they have to sit there while you guys talk 24/7 and see each other? That’s actually really messed up. Like you want her back so you can continue to keep your spouse on the sidelines and emotionally cheat with her? Like why are y’all married to these people. I really feel for these people. This ain’t manifesting for the greater good. If you were you would leave these spouses and let them go find someone who makes them happy and doesn’t want to sneak around on them. Like if you manifest and you can take action part of that action is getting a divorce not just for you but also it’s for the greater good of the other person. Why keep them there when you clearly don’t feel the same. That’s cruel. Sorry I just can’t get on board with that . Like with a third party we pay no mind to them and if we do send love and wish them well. But focus on your goal of being with the person you want to be with. With that good intention set the universe works it out because well if we tried to physically move that third party from our sp that’s not the nicest way to do it. But in your case physically divorcing them is seriously the best thing to do.

Last edited by Selfloveiskey (12/22/2018 10:37 am)

Cynthia wrote:

I don't get why you've been emotionally cheating on your spouses for most of your marriages, but you want to stay married. That's not fair to them or to anybody, and none of you can be happy or feel good about this situation. It sounds like you want to have your cake and eat it too. I don't generally like to moralise or sound judgemental, but this situation is just plain wrong in my view, and the only fair thing to everybody is to make a choice between your spouses and this other person and then let the other person go for good so they can find somebody to give them the love and attention they deserve. Where have your empathy and consideration for your spouses' feelings been, not to mention your wedding vows? They didn't sign on to be neglected whilst you devote so much of your time, emotion, and energy to somebody else.

Agreed

Selfloveiskey wrote:

Cynthia wrote:

I don't get why you've been emotionally cheating on your spouses for most of your marriages, but you want to stay married. That's not fair to them or to anybody, and none of you can be happy or feel good about this situation. It sounds like you want to have your cake and eat it too. I don't generally like to moralise or sound judgemental, but this situation is just plain wrong in my view, and the only fair thing to everybody is to make a choice between your spouses and this other person and then let the other person go for good so they can find somebody to give them the love and attention they deserve. Where have your empathy and consideration for your spouses' feelings been, not to mention your wedding vows? They didn't sign on to be neglected whilst you devote so much of your time, emotion, and energy to somebody else.

Agreed

Hey Cynthia, I’ve read other posts for yours where you talk about just because someone says something that doesn’t mean it’s true. But Neville talks about imaging a friend or another person saying you accomplished something. For example i visualize my crush’s friends saying how much he loves me and I do the same with my friends. What do you think about that?...

Cynthia wrote:

excalibar wrote:

Selfloveiskey wrote:

Agreed

Hey Cynthia, I’ve read other posts for yours where you talk about just because someone says something that doesn’t mean it’s true. But Neville talks about imaging a friend or another person saying you accomplished something. For example i visualize my crush’s friends saying how much he loves me and I do the same with my friends. What do you think about that?...

 
I completely agree with what Neville said, I've done it myself, and it worked. Those are two completely different things in different contexts.

So what I’m visualizing with people telling me how much he loves me (what I asked above) is totally fine and effective?

Cynthia wrote:

excalibar wrote:

Cynthia wrote:

 
I completely agree with what Neville said, I've done it myself, and it worked. Those are two completely different things in different contexts.

So what I’m visualizing with people telling me how much he loves me (what I asked above) is totally fine and effective?

 
In principle, yes.

What do you mean “in principle” do you mean according to what he says it should work.  You sound unsure...