Cynthia wrote:

iamme wrote:

Cynthia wrote:

 

I would like to add something else that I think is important to consider, and that is that we really don't know what someone else is thinking and feeling.  Even if they come out and say something, it doesn't make it true, or if it is true at that moment, it doesn't mean that it will stay true and can't be changed. How many of us choose an interpretation of somebody else's words or actions that make us feel at least hopeful or that make us feel positive and happy about a situation? Probably not many. It seems the tendency of most people is to look at things at face value and choose the most negative interpretation, one that gives them fears and doubts, one they don't want. For example, somebody you like starts to act cold or distant. How many people interpret this as the person doesn't like them? Probably most people. What if it is really the opposite? What if they have stronger feelings about you than you thought you could even hope for, but they have fears about being hurt, or they've got some other issues in their life they want to take care of before getting more deeply involved in a relationship with you, or they have other issues that they feel burdened by and don't want to burden you too, or any number of other possibilities? If you can start to see that any possibility that you can imagine is one that you can bring into existence with patience and persistence, I think it can help you stay on course and achieve your end result.

I can’t tell you how grateful I am for you Cynthia. I think I need more advice since I do have a small update for you all. I talked with my person today about plans during his visit (next month) and it got a bit heated. He wanted to spend time with me during the week and when I questioned him about the weekend he admitted that he might meet with an ‘old flame and didn’t want to make things awkward for me.’ Hearing that really upset me and so I told him he could meet with whoever he wanted and I would move forward with a trip that had already been pre-planned for that weekend. I did kind of explode on my person. I told him “If  you want to be in my life I don’t want your scraps and that includes your time and your character.” His response was that I needed to lower my expectations of him said that “the only crime I have committed is not living up to the expectations of what you think I should be.” I finally had it and just told him the thoughts I’d been holding in while trying not to rock the boat. It was something like. “I am not going to lower my expectations for anyone. I treat you incredibly well even though you’ve at times been an *** to me. You’d be lucky to have me and if you can’t see that by now, I don’t think you ever will and I simply deserve better and someone who will value me. Your crime is to yourself, and I’m not apologizing for having expectations. You are a better person and I think we both know that.”

He followed this up by asking if I’d be in town during the holidays to talk in person. The answer is yes, I will be in town beginning Christmas Eve, basically Christmas Day through New Years but I hadn’t told him until then and now he wants to talk in person. I don’t know where to take it from here. I’d appreciate the advice because I sure am feeling kind of lost. I also don’t know if I should have said all that to him but I truly am tired of him not realizing my worth even though I’ve gone above and beyond for this man. I was tired of staying quiet and not standing up for myself hoping that he would see what was in front of him. I mean, I don’t know how else to ask - Am I doing this living in the end thing right because I gave it an honest effort and still am reminding myself that it isn’t my job to figure out the bridge of events, only to live in the wish fulfilled but things look kind of scattered....

 

You have to live in the end until the end comes in the outer world. It takes as long as it takes, and that varies for different people with their different desires. You've got to be patient and give things as much time as they need. I had to learn patience out of necessity from an early age, I didn't have any choice, so if anything I'm probably too patient about waiting for things to happen, but most people don't seem to have that ability. Everybody wants everything right now. I actually don't blame you for saying what you did to him. I understand from personal experience how a need to express yourself in this sort of way can build up and it's something you just feel you have to do. If you're asking what to do now, I suppose I would suggest deciding what it is you want, whether it's the same thing you've been wanting or if you've changed your mind in some way and want something different, and live in the end of whatever your desire is now.  If you're going to be seeing him soon, you could also imagine that meeting going exactly the way you want it to. If you still want a romantic relationship with this person, there is no need to despair, no matter how bad things may seem.  Don't let outward appearances get to you and get in the way of your desires, and that includes whatever he may say or do that isn't to your liking. Do your best to ignore that and continue living in the end in your imagination and try not to overtly attempt to manipulate outward conditions directly. If you are not in the right state, that won't work.

I definitely still would like to focus on a romantic relationship with this person. It was funny because I had to reschedule one of my dates tonight for an old dear friend who had unexpectedly come in town for work and asked if I could please have dinner with her since she was only here for one night. During dinner, she mentioned that she just couldn’t get me off her mind and something told her that she needed to talk with me. I told her the full story about my person and she told me that when she had first met her husband, he said that didn’t want to marry her. She went on to further say that she went through very similar things with her husband (married 11 years) and that it’s similar to how her husband first behaved. She said that my person doesn’t feel that he is worthy of someone like me because he doesn’t love himself and fears that eventually I will leave him. That his behavior had nothing to do with me and that even though it might be hard, I needed to be patient and keep being myself and being kind. I’m not sure of her views on LOA but in my view, it is more evidence that as you said, we really don’t know what people are thinking or feeling. I will be seeing my person next week and I’d like to utilize my attention and focus to being myself to the right state and hopefully together after meeting. Sorry  for these long threads — I’m also being really open about my journey because I hope that everyone else can also benefit from both the learnings and advice for my situation and desires.

iamme wrote:

Update: Been living in the end and reaffirming as soon as any doubts creep in. My person and I have planned to meet the day after Christmas. Wish me luck!

How’s do you live in the end? I need advice on how to make it easier for me. I have anxiety so it’s hard.

Small Update: I did end up seeing my SP this week. We had a nice dinner but he still remained unchanged about his position. He voiced that he wanted to see me and take me to dinners when I work my temporary stint in his city but that he still wanted only a friendship and was seeing other people. I ended up telling him that I could not retract back to just a friendship as we’ve been intimate for 2 years and I wanted to grow with him now, as we seem to make one another very happy and that I was leaving him. It did hurt me, but the decision felt right in the moment and I have no regrets. As much as I do love my SP, I do have to stand up for what I want in my life as hanging around seeing him whenever he wants me to while he continues to date others is kind of self defeating. Continuing to live in the end here, so we will see what happens - but agreeing to just be friends was killing my confidence and my vibe and walking away did hurt but helped me feel tons better as I am not settling for less than what I have decided to create.

On a good note: Just to test out Neville, I did reconnect today with a former SP who I now really have zero attachment to. He used to ignore my messages and today has been all sorts of inquisitive and asking questions about my life! It really is about states. Maybe I’ll get there with my current SP or someone better!

Cynthia wrote:

iamme wrote:

Small Update: I did end up seeing my SP this week. We had a nice dinner but he still remained unchanged about his position. He voiced that he wanted to see me and take me to dinners when I work my temporary stint in his city but that he still wanted only a friendship and was seeing other people. I ended up telling him that I could not retract back to just a friendship as we’ve been intimate for 2 years and I wanted to grow with him now, as we seem to make one another very happy and that I was leaving him. It did hurt me, but the decision felt right in the moment and I have no regrets. As much as I do love my SP, I do have to stand up for what I want in my life as hanging around seeing him whenever he wants me to while he continues to date others is kind of self defeating. Continuing to live in the end here, so we will see what happens - but agreeing to just be friends was killing my confidence and my vibe and walking away did hurt but helped me feel tons better as I am not settling for less than what I have decided to create.

On a good note: Just to test out Neville, I did reconnect today with a former SP who I now really have zero attachment to. He used to ignore my messages and today has been all sorts of inquisitive and asking questions about my life! It really is about states. Maybe I’ll get there with my current SP or someone better!

 
I think you did the right thing. Setting limits like that doesn't mean you can't still live in the end if you want to.  Living in the end takes place in your imagination. It doesn't mean that in the meantime you have to allow yourself to be strung along or put up with a situation or treatment that you don't feel good about.

Along with treatment, can one cure any disease with the teachings with Neville? And doesn’t your visualizations have to be clear so the mind can’t tell the difference between visualization and what’s actually happening? You say it’s just the feeling that it’s happening right now that is important, to me it’s has to be clear to work up to that point where it feels real. Idk if I even know what It means to feel that’s it actually happeneing now, do you mean like with the senses? Also, is it fine if I feel nonchalant after I visualize? It’s better than stressing out over everything right? Right now, ‘forgetting’ the imaginational work during the day helps me with not stressing to some degree. It’s too hard for me to feel as if outside of visualizing in terms of feeling relaxed and that it’s done/accomplishment... you also said something about just because someone says something doesn’t make it true, if I visualized my sp’s friends telling me how much he truly loves me and everyone else tells me the same, how can it not be true. Do I have to believe that it’s true in my imagination before it becomes true in my reality? If I visualize it enough(every night) I will get to a point where I feel like it’s mine,just by visualing? What does it mean by my desire feeling natural? For him being honest and me changing my appearance without surgery and such? and is there a way I can manifest my sp fater than I already am? How do I know if I have done Neville’s techniques correctly? I’m gong to skip living in the end outside of visualization for now, maybe forever. How do I know when it truly feels natural to have my desire now? I could always visualize a certain aspect of the relationship I want (his friends telling me how much he loves and trusts me) until I believe that and than visualize another aspect as well too even when I’m in the relationship already. Along with what I just said, I want him to be open and honest with me, especially when he is having a down day, what should I visualize for that? I don’t want to manifest him having bad days. One of the reasons I want him so fast is because I have a tendency to worry about his health and safety. But since I visualize us being together happily, he has to stay perfectly fine right? I am beginning to doubt if this is working What can I do to prove to myself that this works? I have been trying to manifest him for close to 2 years now so I want this to be the year where I finally manifest him for good. When Neville says how would it feel if it were true, does he mean feel accomplished and satisfyed that it’s done? Like relief? You say it not the emotional feeling but happy is what your going to feel anyways and should right?

Last edited by excalibar (1/14/2019 6:18 pm)