Posted by Aquilina ![]() 9/04/2018 4:54 pm | #11 |
The things you said you don't know how to do, if I remember from the deleted thread, were loving yourself and making it consistent and unconditional, not based on the external world, only yourself. One thing that I used to do and have started doing again is meditating on my chakras. This really does balance us emotionally and helps us to develop strength and stability no matter what. I use audios from another relationship coach I was in contact with a few years ago. But there should be some good meditations if you look around on youtube. If that's not your sort of thing, I think any type of meditation would still be helpful, because it sounds like you are feeling a lot of anxiety around the situation, and if you feel anxious and stressed, you won't be able to think clearly or attract good things.
How to have self-love...well, this is a thing I am still figuring out. For me, a big part of it has been getting to the root of many many years of self-worth issues. I've almost resolved it. I think one way to see self-love, is to be able to be in the present moment. To be okay with your own company, in the present moment. It's hard to explain because a lot of these insights have come from some deep exploration I've been doing since my situation came up. It used to annoy me when people said "self-love" because I thought, what is it. Then I thought, maybe it means being kind to ourselves. To me, love is an energy, not a behaviour, so it felt kind of abstract to even think of loving ourselves without thinking of the behaviours that allow us to feel the energy of love...so one example would be to talk to yourself with a kind, encouraging voice instead of being harsh if you're feeling certain emotions that you don't want to feel etc. Accepting your emotions, not judging yourself for having emotions. Kind of like inner child work if you've heard about that. Self acceptance is, for me, another way to say, not abandoning ourselves by rejecting and judging our emotions.
Then in more practical ways it could be things like having good nutrition, dressing well, respecting yourself, letting yourself do the things that you enjoy...that kind of thing. Looking after yourself.
On Veronica's video called "How to stop someone ignoring you" or something like that, she talks about how important it is to have a full life, prioritizing yourself and not this person. I'm starting to realise what this really means in my own life and how important it is. I started contacting people I haven't spoken to for a while and thinking of new activities to do, broadening my world. Also after thinking this way my SP was a bit more talkative that night, but you have to do it FOR YOU. For you, and nobody else. If you are trying to love yourself for the sake of getting someone else's love, it won't work. It has to be genuine. You have to be your own best friend.
Another thing I started to do is to think of why I am so awesome that I will draw this person to me, and I plan to keep doing this, having these talks with myself, admiring my greatness, until it is part of my identity and all the negative stuff has stopped.
So yeah, I'm still getting my head around the self-love thing but those are some things I've been doing anyway.
Last edited by Aquilina (9/04/2018 4:57 pm)
Posted by Stacey ![]() 9/04/2018 5:07 pm | #12 |
There's a user on here called SelfLoveIsKey who can give you great advice on that topic!
Posted by oceanitrogen ![]() 9/04/2018 5:44 pm | #13 |
Serendipity wrote:
I think he might be a feeling hurt and rejected after being broken up with, which could be why he hasn't chased you. The situation is salvageable but you need to forgive yourself and then focus on the end result. Which in this case is a happy and loving relationship with the person.
I recommend focusing on yourself for a little while, then you can set the intention to manifest the person.
Thank you so much, you're an angel!!! So i can save it?? I'M SO HAPPY AND RELIEVED!! But just a question... How can I forgive myself for not valuing him? And how can I forgive him for hurting me and leaving when he promised he never would? How can I feel happiness and aligment? What do I do?
Posted by oceanitrogen ![]() 9/04/2018 5:45 pm | #14 |
Aquilina wrote:
You could watch Veronica's videos again and write down some notes to help you remember.
That's true! I will! I don't know why I didn't think of that, thank you so much!
Posted by oceanitrogen ![]() 9/04/2018 5:48 pm | #15 |
Aquilina wrote:
The things you said you don't know how to do, if I remember from the deleted thread, were loving yourself and making it consistent and unconditional, not based on the external world, only yourself. One thing that I used to do and have started doing again is meditating on my chakras. This really does balance us emotionally and helps us to develop strength and stability no matter what. I use audios from another relationship coach I was in contact with a few years ago. But there should be some good meditations if you look around on youtube. If that's not your sort of thing, I think any type of meditation would still be helpful, because it sounds like you are feeling a lot of anxiety around the situation, and if you feel anxious and stressed, you won't be able to think clearly or attract good things.
How to have self-love...well, this is a thing I am still figuring out. For me, a big part of it has been getting to the root of many many years of self-worth issues. I've almost resolved it. I think one way to see self-love, is to be able to be in the present moment. To be okay with your own company, in the present moment. It's hard to explain because a lot of these insights have come from some deep exploration I've been doing since my situation came up. It used to annoy me when people said "self-love" because I thought, what is it. Then I thought, maybe it means being kind to ourselves. To me, love is an energy, not a behaviour, so it felt kind of abstract to even think of loving ourselves without thinking of the behaviours that allow us to feel the energy of love...so one example would be to talk to yourself with a kind, encouraging voice instead of being harsh if you're feeling certain emotions that you don't want to feel etc. Accepting your emotions, not judging yourself for having emotions. Kind of like inner child work if you've heard about that. Self acceptance is, for me, another way to say, not abandoning ourselves by rejecting and judging our emotions.
Then in more practical ways it could be things like having good nutrition, dressing well, respecting yourself, letting yourself do the things that you enjoy...that kind of thing. Looking after yourself.
On Veronica's video called "How to stop someone ignoring you" or something like that, she talks about how important it is to have a full life, prioritizing yourself and not this person. I'm starting to realise what this really means in my own life and how important it is. I started contacting people I haven't spoken to for a while and thinking of new activities to do, broadening my world. Also after thinking this way my SP was a bit more talkative that night, but you have to do it FOR YOU. For you, and nobody else. If you are trying to love yourself for the sake of getting someone else's love, it won't work. It has to be genuine. You have to be your own best friend.
Another thing I started to do is to think of why I am so awesome that I will draw this person to me, and I plan to keep doing this, having these talks with myself, admiring my greatness, until it is part of my identity and all the negative stuff has stopped.
So yeah, I'm still getting my head around the self-love thing but those are some things I've been doing anyway.
I don't even know how to thank you. Seriously. You're an angel. I'm going to screenshot this and I'll read it until I remember everyhing you said (I need a better memory, maybe I shild work on that too). Thank you so much and when I read everything a billion times I'll message you again. You're an angel
Posted by oceanitrogen ![]() 9/04/2018 5:49 pm | #16 |
Serendipity wrote:
There's a user on here called SelfLoveIsKey who can give you great advice on that topic!
Really? Thank you so much! How do I talk to them though? This forum is so difficult to figure out (or maybe I just suck at surfing the web)
Posted by Aquilina ![]() 9/04/2018 5:55 pm | #17 |
Serendipity wrote:
There's a user on here called SelfLoveIsKey who can give you great advice on that topic!
Thanks! I'm going to look through their posts.
Posted by Aquilina ![]() 9/04/2018 5:56 pm | #18 |
oceanitrogen wrote:
Aquilina wrote:
The things you said you don't know how to do, if I remember from the deleted thread, were loving yourself and making it consistent and unconditional, not based on the external world, only yourself. One thing that I used to do and have started doing again is meditating on my chakras. This really does balance us emotionally and helps us to develop strength and stability no matter what. I use audios from another relationship coach I was in contact with a few years ago. But there should be some good meditations if you look around on youtube. If that's not your sort of thing, I think any type of meditation would still be helpful, because it sounds like you are feeling a lot of anxiety around the situation, and if you feel anxious and stressed, you won't be able to think clearly or attract good things.
How to have self-love...well, this is a thing I am still figuring out. For me, a big part of it has been getting to the root of many many years of self-worth issues. I've almost resolved it. I think one way to see self-love, is to be able to be in the present moment. To be okay with your own company, in the present moment. It's hard to explain because a lot of these insights have come from some deep exploration I've been doing since my situation came up. It used to annoy me when people said "self-love" because I thought, what is it. Then I thought, maybe it means being kind to ourselves. To me, love is an energy, not a behaviour, so it felt kind of abstract to even think of loving ourselves without thinking of the behaviours that allow us to feel the energy of love...so one example would be to talk to yourself with a kind, encouraging voice instead of being harsh if you're feeling certain emotions that you don't want to feel etc. Accepting your emotions, not judging yourself for having emotions. Kind of like inner child work if you've heard about that. Self acceptance is, for me, another way to say, not abandoning ourselves by rejecting and judging our emotions.
Then in more practical ways it could be things like having good nutrition, dressing well, respecting yourself, letting yourself do the things that you enjoy...that kind of thing. Looking after yourself.
On Veronica's video called "How to stop someone ignoring you" or something like that, she talks about how important it is to have a full life, prioritizing yourself and not this person. I'm starting to realise what this really means in my own life and how important it is. I started contacting people I haven't spoken to for a while and thinking of new activities to do, broadening my world. Also after thinking this way my SP was a bit more talkative that night, but you have to do it FOR YOU. For you, and nobody else. If you are trying to love yourself for the sake of getting someone else's love, it won't work. It has to be genuine. You have to be your own best friend.
Another thing I started to do is to think of why I am so awesome that I will draw this person to me, and I plan to keep doing this, having these talks with myself, admiring my greatness, until it is part of my identity and all the negative stuff has stopped.
So yeah, I'm still getting my head around the self-love thing but those are some things I've been doing anyway.
I don't even know how to thank you. Seriously. You're an angel. I'm going to screenshot this and I'll read it until I remember everyhing you said (I need a better memory, maybe I shild work on that too). Thank you so much and when I read everything a billion times I'll message you again. You're an angel
You're welcome, I'm glad to help
Posted by Aquilina ![]() 9/04/2018 5:57 pm | #19 |
oceanitrogen wrote:
Serendipity wrote:
There's a user on here called SelfLoveIsKey who can give you great advice on that topic!
Really? Thank you so much! How do I talk to them though? This forum is so difficult to figure out (or maybe I just suck at surfing the web)
I searched the username to bring up a list of all their posts and I'm going to look through some.
Posted by oceanitrogen ![]() 9/04/2018 8:42 pm | #20 |
Aquilina wrote:
oceanitrogen wrote:
Serendipity wrote:
There's a user on here called SelfLoveIsKey who can give you great advice on that topic!
Really? Thank you so much! How do I talk to them though? This forum is so difficult to figure out (or maybe I just suck at surfing the web)
I searched the username to bring up a list of all their posts and I'm going to look through some.
Ohhhhhh, thank you! I'll try that too!!