Posted by AliT  6/05/2018 4:12 am | #11 |
Cait11 wrote:
Thanks for the video! So it's basically like when you come up against any sort of resistance, you're on the right track?
It's definitely a learning curve... I honestly can't look at the good things my person told me, or things they gave me. I'm still working past that; those things just seem to reinforce us not being together. So I've been ignoring them and working on focusing on what i want.... a new relationship with them. I wonder, though, if that's holding back things?
Today was also.... "eh". I overslept again, and missed a call from my person. They never called back, never texted. I'm sure it's because I'm feeling so "aaaaa" over it all. Last night I did a good self love mediation with radiating love to my person, and it felt really good.
At first, though, I visualized my person telling me they love me, and I fell asleep for maybe half an hour. I woke up feeling odd, and was up for hours after. Then I eventually did the mediations from Agnes's channel.
Today, though, I've been working to distract myself. To try and distract myself so that the feelings of want go away, while also trying to accept them (so that they would go away). I did sit down and make a gratitude document on my phone, not just for a prompt today, but in general.
The local PBS station showed the documentary about the Hamilton musical tonight, so I watched it. I even managed to put my phone down a bit! I started to work on switching my focus while watching it, trying to move over to what art things might I want to do this year, to make a mark.
I keep going back to certain topics here to try and keep myself positive, as well as reading Neville. I don't even know if I should say "try"-- this is all new to me. But i want a reconciliation with this person so badly that I'm willing to do even what sounds crazy, like believing my imagination can bring them back to me. I haven't been telling my friends about any of it, because I'm sure they'd discourage me.
Tonight, I'm going to do the visualization prompt, about going out with friends and your "ex". I'm also gonna work on manifesting a regular night of sleep: and wake up before 2 pm!
That's another thing, I woke up first at 2:22 pm today. I know others say signs follow, they don't precede, but in the past, I've asked the Universe for 2:22 &/or 2:27 (my person's birth date) "if" we were meant to be together. I've received them a lot, including today. I guess it means I'm on the right track... despite the resistance I'm feeling. Or even because of the resistance?
No problem!
The video basically means like you get so good at being in alignment and feeling good that when you come across any contrast or resistance you just stay feeling good because you know that it's only helping strengthen your desire, contrast is a good thing because it lets you know exactly what you want.
I don't think focusing on your new relationship is holding you back, that's the best thing to do I think, accept that the past relationship is the past and you have no power over it so focus on the NEW and what you desire and what you want.
It's encouraging to me that you are seeing signs everywhere. I too keep seeing 222 and so many others. Literally EVERYWHERE. Whether they are 'Angel Numbers' like some say or my own manifestations I love them and am so grateful for them because they help us know that we are on the right track.
I understand the lack and desperation stuff, I am now focusing on loving myself, as Agnes says it should be 75% Self Love and 25% focusing on your desire. I always have confidence in myself and know that I am an amazing person and such a great catch for my specific person but the fact that I sometimes feel lack shows me that this is ego and I should work more on my self love. So now that is what I am going to do.
As for no contact, have you tried it yet? If he is with the 3rd person and knows you are just the other end of a phone call waiting for him he wont miss you, make him feel what he's missing out on with you. Plus the NC period lets you do you and focus on yourself and love yourself. If you haven't done so already I highly suggest it!
Much love
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Posted by Cait11 6/19/2018 3:03 pm | #12 |
So yesterday I picked back up where I left off with this. I did the scripting here on the board, under my scripting thread. And last night I did the beach vacation visualization.
I hadn't had any contact from my ex in a week, since that last exchange I mentioned that upset me. He sent me a "wave" on Messenger at 1 am Monday, which I didn't reply to until 4 pm, after I'd talked to a relationship coach. Last night, he sent me a thumbs up, so i sent one back. Now he's asking "Was wondering if you would like me to keep giving you space?"
He's been liking things I post on Facebook and Instagram. Last night, I also did a handful of Agnes's meditations, including rubbing out and sending a third party on their way.
I'm trying to get back into the swing of things and believe. I'm also trying to get to that place of "I don't need you in order to be ok, but i do desire you." Trying to accept and thus release the doubt and fear and missing him.
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Posted by Cait11 6/20/2018 2:15 pm | #13 |
Yesterday I said day 7's affirmation, and I read a little more of The Law and the Promise. I felt really low energy, and then my ex called me (http://veronicaloa.boardhost.com/viewtopic.php?id=8468). He also called me today.
The calls have made me feel very confused and thrown off. If anyone could help me realign, I'd very much appreciate it.
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