Unable to stay positive or enthusiastic

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Posted by Kingbob
1/22/2018 10:28 am
#1

Hi all.
M new here and to LoA. Here is my story.i need help and guidance.I have been crying and depressed like hell. I'm unable to think positive or act as if.
After 9 yrs of dating,my guy stopped talking to me about a month back saying that he's dating a co worker and their relationship is serious.it is not a rebound relationship as they developed feelings over a period of time last year and told me in December.They have met each other's parents and he told me they will marry soon.He and I were in a long distance relationship. But so is he and his current gf. I begged n pleaded for him to give me a chance.he did not listen to me and has become indifferent towards me. He doesn't bother about me at all.even if I message him, he ignores me. And sometimes he sends me their pic together and he has even changed his look for her. He tells me that he has found his dream girl who is much better than me and for the first time he feels what love is.
All this is killing me from inside and i have blocked him on WhatsApp as i cant deal with him ignoring me.n that urge of messaging and calling him doesn't go away.m I right in blocking him?.I know I have been insecure and possessive and I caused this. Im working on loving myself and being secure.But I want to get back with him in a romantic committed relationship asap. I want to marry him at the earliest. Please help me out here.i need your coaching and help and guidance to help me be with him again. Please help me out.I don't have any other desire or wish as I'm truly blessed in other areas such as family,friends, health etc.

Please help me.get him back at the earliest and get married to him soon. I just want to be his wife. Please help me.

 
Posted by ezuu
1/22/2018 10:47 am
#2

I dont want to discourage you, so firstly i say you absolutly can have him back, but not with this attitude. Don't rush it. You need to heal yourself. I know most of desperate people won't listen to this advice, but what then happen is that they are here or on other forums for months, being hurt and having dead grip on their loves. And guess what? They never get they love back. I don't think you want to be one of them. Take at least 3 months off, study neville or abraham (not to get him back) and then decide if he is still the one you want to be with.  Then you are in much better position to get him back. But LOA isn't some kind of quick help.
And don't say this story ever again. Forget it. You have to realise that what he said or send you is not his fault. You created the whole situation on your own and you can make it better.
To be his wife you have to feel yourself being his wife. What would you think of, how would be your days if you were his wife? How would you look at the world? I'm here for a few days, but i noticed Sanshi has some good posts about this. As well as Oasiscalm. Read their posts.

Last edited by ezuu (1/22/2018 10:48 am)

 
Posted by Kingbob
1/22/2018 10:56 am
#3

Ezuu,

Thanks for your reply. But I have never been surer about being with him than now. I want to marry him and be his wife. But I know right now I'm not in the mindset to achieve that. So I'm trying to atleast manifest a phonecall or email from him. But even that's not happening. I'm in such a hopeless and depressing situation now that all opportunities seem to have closed their doors on me. I know that my heart wants to be with him. We have had amazing memories together. I  need guidance on manifesting him....I love him. Help me.

 
Posted by Kingbob
1/22/2018 10:58 am
#4

N m kinda hurrying coz he and his new girl seem to be pretty serious and I wish for him to marry me ASAP.

 
Posted by MiciJones
1/22/2018 11:18 am
#5

You assume that it is serious so you experience him being in serious relationship. I see from your post that you are expecting that he will marry her, and guess what will happen? What are you expecting to happen, that will happen. It's easy like this. It's not about him being in serious relationship (what you assumed about the relationship), it's about you thinking about how he is in a relationship. You have to start assuming that he is in relationship with you, forget the other girl. But i agree with ezuu, from my experience, i was desperate and depressed as hell just like you. And even thou i have known this live in the end stuff, i was too hurt to really apply it. I wasn't able to live in the end and i was creating my ex being rude to me. I had enough, i studied neville for past few weeks and focused on my goals. I found out that i really can have a better boyfriend than him (i didn't really gave up on him, i was still thinking about him with love, but he wasn't my goal anymore). I lived with feeling of being the best girlfriend in the world (not his, but some guy in general) for a few days and guess what happend? Last night my ex (who said that he is glad he isn't with me anymore two weeks ago) messenged me to go out and asked me to be his as i'm the love of his life (he even has a ring for me as i visualised lol). But i refused and asked him to be just friends, because i know i can have better match. I'm not asking you to give up on him. Just let him be for a while, get yourself busy and feel yourself being a wife. And again, go general. Heal yourself until you are able to think about him with love without any negative emotion as if he was already yours. And when that happen, he will totally be back. As ezuu wrote, this isn't quick help, so you have to really want to understand this thing, spend time studying.. it may take weeks, months or years.. it depends on your ability to change your consciousness..

Last edited by MiciJones (1/22/2018 11:27 am)

 
Posted by Kingbob
1/22/2018 11:59 am
#6

Thanks for the reply MiciJones Ma'am.
I have only this one desire in my life and that is to be his wife.I'm rather blessed in all other areas- family,health,job, friends and I'm genuinely grateful for that.
But now as I'm unable to even manifest a text or phone call from him and we are in different countries, it is hurting me. How and what exactly did you visualise or affirm or do to get your ex back? Please guide me in detail. What am I supposed to think about? What affirmations do I need to write?

 
Posted by MiciJones
1/22/2018 12:18 pm
#7

As i  wrote in pm. And also find some passion. Take your focus off him sometimes and enjoy yourself. I found out that i have a passion for dancing and with loa behind my back, i'm getting better and better. Soon i will be like those badass kids on youtube with led shoes. I will post here a link to my channel one day lol 😂😂

 
Posted by Kingbob
1/23/2018 3:59 am
#8

I do practice gratitude and self love every morning. I'm working on myself to be secure and I do keep myself busy in my work and other things. And every night I visualise our marriage. But I haven't been able to even get a simple text or call or mail from him. And then I go into bouts of crying again. I have attraced him earlier,when we were almost on the verge of a breakup.that tym I knew he would come back as there was no third person.but here there is and him telling me that she is his dream gal and them developing strong feelings for each other and being in love with each other is just killing me and I'm unable to have my faith that he will come back.I know just one thing that I love him truly and it's my dream go be his wife and I want just that from my life. Please help me go about it and improve my faith and belief and be in his life and heart again.I will be truly indebted and grateful to all of you. help me please.

 
Posted by PrettyFlamingo
1/23/2018 7:14 am
#9

Kingbob wrote:

After 9 yrs of dating,my guy stopped talking to me about a month back

This is so strange. After NINE YEARS he just stopped TALKING to you? What does that actually mean? After 9 years of a proper relationship? Does it mean he just never got in touch with you again and you had to find out what had happened? 


Be a flamingo in a flock of pigeons.
 
Posted by Kingbob
1/23/2018 7:35 am
#10

Hi PrettyFlamingo,
We are college sweethearts and used to be in the same college and then in the same city for work.I'm generally a positive confident person but I used to believe that I'm inferior because my guy is way way good looking than iam. That has always created issues and then in 2016, our relationship became long distance, still all was going good and he even came back to meet me in March-April 2017.then things became very hectic at his end and our talks reduced. Then he used to get irritated when I used to ask him y did not he call me or message me etc.then I saw that he had commented flirtatiously on his co-workers pic on fb and when I asked him he flew into a fit of rage and told me that he is dating her and that she is mature and gives him his space and he loves her.n that he and she have been developing feelings for each other since a long time,just that he did not tel me.n now he tells me she is his dream girl and sends me their pictures together.he even changed his look for her.he also told me that their parents are aware and that he would marry her. He hasn't messaged me once since December, apart from wishing me on my bday in January. And he hasn't blocked me anywhere. When I asked him to block me,he said he won't cz he wants to stalk me.
I know I created this by my insecurities about my looks and inferiority complex.but I'm working on them.
All I know is that I love him a lot and it is not out of desperation. I genuinely love him and I want to marry him.it's the only dream which I want to be fulfilled as I'm blessed otherwise with a good job,family,friends and health.
Please help me out.I wana b with him soon,as his wife.

 


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