Posted by happygirl97  1/03/2018 8:21 am | #1 |
I recently noticed, that some members of this forum completely reject the idea, that other people's behaviour has anything to do with US.
That it is not about us personally when we are treated as dirt.
I don't want to say that this is nonsense and I do not want to insult anyone who thinks this way.
My standpoint is clear:
Other people's behaviour is ME pushed out.
I observed this in my own life so many times that assholes change when you change.
My best example is one of my ex boyfriends:
When we were together, he lied to me ( nothing too heavy but still- it is not respectful) , he canceled on me, he started to distance himself from me and he treated me as second-best.
I quit things, but I wanted him back. The old one, the one that treated me well in the beginning when I was in a MUCH better state you see.
my beliefs about him where: He is a player. He is too goodlooking for me. I want to take,take,take love from him so I dont have to do it on my own. I need him to make me feel good. I am not a priority. I am second best. He doesnt care about me. He is treating me shitty.
When I started to care about my self love and my beliefs. guess what..
well, I do not kid you:
NOW, he showers me with affection, he calls me daily, he sends me gifts, I am his mobile background photo, he texts me sweet texts, he is respectful and caring towards me.He plans wonderful trips with me. He even changed his LIFESTYLE.
He doesnt party anymore and works at a FARM keeping the animals . LOL.
He completely changed it is absolutely CRAZY.
I no longer want him anymore, I am over him. Its almost sad ( I mean seriously , now he treats me wonderfully )
yeah, you can argue its "coincidence" that his behaviour towards ME changed.
But, I dont believe it was coincidence. It was me who attracted the better version of him through my state of self love. I must say, I didnt force it. It came naturally. And loa is not about changing other people. It is about you changing in order to attract better.
She believed she could, so she did.
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Posted by Sanshi 1/03/2018 8:55 am | #2 |
happygirl97 wrote:
I don't want to say that this is nonsense and I do not want to insult anyone who thinks this way.
When you don't do it, I do it. It is absolute nonsense. Everyone is free to choose their own limitations of course, but that doesn't change how the world works. The whole world is a movie screen on which our beliefs are projected. Other people don't have a character or are stubborn or whatever. We project things onto them and it happens so fast that we don't even notice it. It's not a very good idea to give power to things/people. It's the only reason to doubt - because we believe in something outside of us that has power over us.
"Self-abandonment. That is the secret. We have to abandon ourselves to the state, in our love for the state, and in so doing live the life of the state and no more our present state. And to make the state alive, one must become it."
Neville Goddard ~ The Law and the Promise
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Posted by PrettyFlamingo 1/03/2018 9:09 am | #3 |
This means then that there are very different versions of me according to different people in my life? But I'm who I am and with me, what you see is what you get. This concept is very difficult for me to get my head around.
Be a flamingo in a flock of pigeons.
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Posted by happygirl97 1/03/2018 9:19 am | #4 |
This means then that there are very different versions of me according to different people in my life? But I'm who I am and with me, what you see is what you get. This concept is very difficult for me to get my head around.
exactly.
I even remember one instant with my ex boyfriend where I had this crazy urge to Betray him.
I have never been a cheater its something I would never have thought of.
He has this issues and belief that women cheat that its the way it always is. He has been betrayed by his ex girlfriend.
I knew about his fears and I had this crazy urge to start something with another guy behind his back.
But I didnt do it. He told me a few weeks later, that he WORKED on his issues,tried meditations and let go of his fear, that he trusted me. I never had that urge again.
She believed she could, so she did.
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Posted by Sanshi 1/03/2018 9:31 am | #5 |
This means then that there are very different versions of me according to different people in my life? But I'm who I am and with me, what you see is what you get. This concept is very difficult for me to get my head around.
Maybe the problem is that you try to get it. You probably know that I have been exactly that way - always needed an explanation and wanted to know exactly how it works, but that kept me from just applying it. Just explore it a little. Test it, be aware what you believe to be true about others.
I think this concept is so difficult to grasp, because we have concepts that aren't compatible like "there is only one world" or "other people have consciousness too". We can't know it exactly and it's not really relevant. Just watch if your (conscious) experience confirms it. Mine does. I had two interesting situations with my mother lately where she believed the exact opposite of what I believed. And when I say believe I mean what I deep down feel to be true. She sent a letter to a friend and it came back. She immediately started worrying, but I was pretty sure she just had the wrong adress. She looked it up, but the adress was (seemingly) right. That didn't change what I believed. Yesterday, he called - my mother had noted down the wrong adress in the first place. She was worried, so she was in a very different state and I bet her state was "stronger" than mine, because I don't even know that guy, so I don't care. But she assumed he had died. If the stronger state would "win", he should be dead now. But it's my world, so I was right of course. If she has her own version of the world, then her experience there was very different. The second situation was the same, just that it was the other way around. I assumed something negative and she something positive. I still "won". I can't tell what her real experience is. I can only tell what my perceived experience she has is. It's impossible for me to know hers. When I look at her experience, it's my experience of it. So it doesn't really make sense to think about it, because I will never be able to figure it out. I just keep watching my own experiences, what I feel to be true and what happens after that.
"Self-abandonment. That is the secret. We have to abandon ourselves to the state, in our love for the state, and in so doing live the life of the state and no more our present state. And to make the state alive, one must become it."
Neville Goddard ~ The Law and the Promise
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Posted by sillyromantic 1/03/2018 10:12 am | #6 |
Ok question.. If everyone is us pushed out.. so the other person in relationship to us - are we they pushed out? and how do we change our inner beliefs to change the outcome? I've been doing affirmations but I feel like I self sabotage without knowing... I met a new guy I started to like and he liked me to, had great conversations and then he's gone quiet on me and stopped interacting. I'm assuming it's something within me but not sure how to change my beliefs to alter the situation back to how I want it to be. I also visualize a lot every night.
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Posted by PrettyFlamingo 1/03/2018 11:25 am | #7 |
This means then that there are very different versions of me according to different people in my life? But I'm who I am and with me, what you see is what you get. This concept is very difficult for me to get my head around.
Obviously the relationship with your parents isn’t the same as the one with your friends and the one with a lover and so on. So yes there are two very different versions of you. This isn’t a difficult concept to understand.
I'm thinking more on the lines of general relationships rather than those you quote. Such as work colleagues - we once had a boss who was very difficult. EVERYONE perceived him to be difficult, not just the odd ones. So it was him pushed out not everyone else. His previous workplace said the same about him. In work, you like some people, and some you're not keen on, and that applies to us as well. I'm the same all the time with people in my life (I'm afraid I don't have any parents or a lover so cannot use those examples) but with friends and workmates, I'm just me.
Be a flamingo in a flock of pigeons.
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Posted by Oasiscalm 1/03/2018 5:23 pm | #8 |
This means then that there are very different versions of me according to different people in my life? But I'm who I am and with me, what you see is what you get. This concept is very difficult for me to get my head around.
Obviously the relationship with your parents isn’t the same as the one with your friends and the one with a lover and so on. So yes there are two very different versions of you. This isn’t a difficult concept to understand.
Why is your relationship with your parents not the same as that of friends and lovers? If the law is a law it applies to all relationships.
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Posted by Oasiscalm 1/03/2018 5:59 pm | #9 |
This means then that there are very different versions of me according to different people in my life? But I'm who I am and with me, what you see is what you get. This concept is very difficult for me to get my head around.
Obviously the relationship with your parents isn’t the same as the one with your friends and the one with a lover and so on. So yes there are two very different versions of you. This isn’t a difficult concept to understand.
I'm thinking more on the lines of general relationships rather than those you quote. Such as work colleagues - we once had a boss who was very difficult. EVERYONE perceived him to be difficult, not just the odd ones. So it was him pushed out not everyone else. His previous workplace said the same about him. In work, you like some people, and some you're not keen on, and that applies to us as well. I'm the same all the time with people in my life (I'm afraid I don't have any parents or a lover so cannot use those examples) but with friends and workmates, I'm just me.
Don't look to LOA to change a person, use it to change your experience with a person. See in them the person you want to see and that will be reflected back to you.
Similar to your experience I have a work colleague in my department who is considered by all to be a difficult and moody person to work with.By his own admission he says he is grumpy. But for me I find his grumpiness - endearing. And I have a great working relationship with him because I don't see his difficult nature as a barrier.
It doesn't matter what the person's personality is - it what you want to experience with that person that you attract.
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Posted by piper 1/03/2018 9:26 pm | #10 |
Obviously the relationship with your parents isn’t the same as the one with your friends and the one with a lover and so on. So yes there are two very different versions of you. This isn’t a difficult concept to understand.I'm thinking more on the lines of general relationships rather than those you quote. Such as work colleagues - we once had a boss who was very difficult. EVERYONE perceived him to be difficult, not just the odd ones. So it was him pushed out not everyone else. His previous workplace said the same about him. In work, you like some people, and some you're not keen on, and that applies to us as well. I'm the same all the time with people in my life (I'm afraid I don't have any parents or a lover so cannot use those examples) but with friends and workmates, I'm just me.
Don't look to LOA to change a person, use it to change your experience with a person. See in them the person you want to see and that will be reflected back to you.
Similar to your experience I have a work colleague in my department who is considered by all to be a difficult and moody person to work with.By his own admission he says he is grumpy. But for me I find his grumpiness - endearing. And I have a great working relationship with him because I don't see his difficult nature as a barrier.
It doesn't matter what the person's personality is - it what you want to experience with that person that you attract.
So here's my question: how do I ignore certain behaviors in a person? I know I'm overthinking it, here. I'm in an awesome relationship, but there are some things I could do without, if that makes sense. We have a great relationship 99% of the time, but I'm always looking to improve it, including myself. I'm confused as to how I do this.
