Veronica's Law of Attraction Forum / How much influence do we really have?

**Posted by Little Red Robin** 12/28/2016 9:00 am

Hi there, so I'm back with my man, yay!!! and have some thoughts about relationship in general. So, say we are with someone we love but we notice there are things about them that we would prefer to be different, can we really change another by changing our concept of them? As I've typed that, I know the answer is yes but I'd like to open this up to discussion. And since we know this, does that mean we just keep 'ignoring' the 'what is' (our non preferred conditions) and stay focussed on what we would like (just as we do here through RS/visualisation/intention etc) My point is, and I've heard Abe say this as well ----- As we're sorting and sifting throughout our lives, our preferences, as we expland our consciousness, we want different things or improvements on the 'what is' so this is probably why after a time with a certain partner, (due to our expanded awareness) we're looking for an improved 'version' as we grow and gravitate towards new desires/details. So, I guess what I'm asking here is, if we are aware of being a deliberate creator, can we bring about those changes in the one we're already with as opposed to looking for a new person with the preferred conditions? BEcause surely, the focus is really about us anyway isn't it? So, we can drop expectations of how our partner should be and just love them for how they are already. So, its' a process of giving up and releasing judgement? Because if we are observing someone or something and seeing the things we don't want, well, we now know that we will get more of that if we keep our focus there, right? So, is the answer to ignore those aspects that displease us as best as we can and simply keep our focus on the 'best' in them and the 'best' in the relationship? Because if energy flows where attention goes, and we manifest whatever our dominant thoughts are, it makes sense to only think about the 'parts' that we 'love' or would 'prefer' in our lives, even if they've not materialised yet? Do I have this correct?

**Posted by Avaelle** 12/28/2016 9:09 am

We get more of what we focus on. That would include things about them.

**Posted by Little Red Robin** 12/28/2016 9:15 am

Avaelle, I love how simply you put that after my big post! lol Thank you, so therefore, that means we can't allow ourselves to stay 'locked on' any particular aspect that we do not like/want. It's tricky isn't it, when we're observing a present 'reality' that isn't favourable, lol

Last edited by Little Red Robin (12/28/2016 9:16 am)

**Posted by Sanshi** 12/28/2016 10:09 am

It depends on your perspective. Think of a dream. When you are immersed in the dream and identify with your dream character, how much influence do you have on other people in the dream? Not so much. You can talk to them and try to convince them, but you can't control them. But when you take a step back, you realise that you are the consciousness that dreams the whole world into existence. You are your dream character, but you are also the clouds, the houses and the other people, because everything happens inside of your consciousness. From that point of view, you can change everything and it's not even manipulation, but the way the dream works.
So, if you see yourself seperate from your environment and your guy, you will probably always struggle with "controlling" him, but if you embrace him as a part of yourself, you could even change his eye color, if you wanted to.

**Posted by Avaelle** 12/28/2016 10:17 am

Little Red Robin wrote:
Avaelle, I love how simply you put that after my big post! lol Thank you, so therefore, that means we can't allow ourselves to stay 'locked on' any particular aspect that we do not like/want. It's tricky isn't it, when we're observing a present 'reality' that isn't favourable, lol

LOL! It can be tricky. For me, it feels a lot better to just not pay attention to the things that I don't like. Just treat them like they aren't there. I've made the mistake in the past of paying too much attention to things and ending up feeling like it was "work" to get things right. Rather it's an annoying person in the workplace, potholes in the road or things about my guy that I don't like, it works better for me to pay attention to and be grateful for the things that I do like.

**Posted by Little Red Robin** 12/28/2016 12:13 pm

Very nice Sanshi, I like that, because there is no real reality is there? Its always changing/moulding to our thoughts/beliefs so all of it can be what we want it to be. Thank you, I love how you help me see the truth again.

**Posted by Little Red Robin** 12/28/2016 12:16 pm

Avaelle wrote:
Little Red Robin wrote:
Avaelle, I love how simply you put that after my big post! lol Thank you, so therefore, that means we can't allow ourselves to stay 'locked on' any particular aspect that we do not like/want. It's tricky isn't it, when we're observing a present 'reality' that isn't favourable, lol
LOL! It can be tricky. For me, it feels a lot better to just not pay attention to the things that I don't like. Just treat them like they aren't there. I've made the mistake in the past of paying too much attention to things and ending up feeling like it was "work" to get things right. Rather it's an annoying person in the workplace, potholes in the road or things about my guy that I don't like, it works better for me to pay attention to and be grateful for the things that I do like.

Yes, I know that when I was creating my relationship again, I kept good focus on exactly what I was aligning with, I guess I've slackened my focus a little. I was watching a great video by Kyle Cease about how its our connection with ourself that needs to be the priority and then we will be a lot more at peace with whatever shows up outside of ourselves.

**Posted by Sanshi** 12/28/2016 12:54 pm

Little Red Robin wrote:
Very nice Sanshi, I like that, because there is no real reality is there? Its always changing/moulding to our thoughts/beliefs so all of it can be what we want it to be. Thank you, I love how you help me see the truth again.

Yes. For me, the dream world is more than an analogy. I think that's the way it actually works. It's just another dream level and therefore, we have the power to influence the seemingly physical.

**Posted by Colonel Roosevelt** 12/28/2016 2:00 pm

For some reason, this thread reminded me about how when couples get super old together they even look alike lol

**Posted by collie** 12/31/2016 4:07 pm

Sanshi wrote:
So, if you see yourself seperate from your environment and your guy, you will probably always struggle with "controlling" him, but if you embrace him as a part of yourself, you could even change his eye color, if you wanted to.

What do you mean by the guy being part of yourself?