Thank you very much, every bit of input from everyone helps

I've dealt with a guy who had that vibration before , when a guy is in that vibration it's unattractive but also the intensity can be threatening to a woman. I have felt an odd sensation of fear towards men who I once would have liked or felt safe with after rejecting them because they would react in aggressive and intense ways and even though I knew they would not hurt me, something in me felt weirdly unsafe and odd about them and uncomfortable. Honestly, I feel that your first step is to actually move on, write down everything you think you did wrong personally and then things you think she did wrong and why you believe the relationship didn't stick. Then write out what you want from a relationship and the traits your ideal partner would have. You can practice loa on her but I have a feeling her resistance is super high right now to you and directing energy her way might feel smothering to her. It would be better to actually deflect your thoughts away from her so that you don't smother her at all in any shape or form right now and start just being selfish and think about you and just build yourself up. What should happen is that by not directing energy her way, she will feel no pressure and will be able to think about you and start to miss you and also start to forgive you. She will then, inevitably, start to wonder about you and you will subconsciously know when she is wondering about you and then if you are in a good vibration and her vibration and energy is attracted towards you, you will run into each other and she will be genuinely happy to see you and because your energy has been so focused on you and not on her, you will feel confident and will have no resistance towards her and will be able to have a good conversation and reconnect. That's what I think anyway. 

Love is Real wrote:

I would add one more thing, before you disappear for her and go to work on yourself, make that list of what you did wrong in the relationship  and before you go no contact,  write her a hand written letter.  Tellb her what you did wrong and apologize. Only Do it if you raely mean it. Don't say a word about what she did.  If you do mean it, it is better to take off for no contact time ona positive note than something like the letter you just sent her.  Leave the scene witha positive feeling.

There is one problem with that. And it's not a big headed thing here. I never actually did anything wrong. She admitted that herself. Shes that madly in love with me and shes building her self esteem up, she does feel totally relaxed but because of a past relationship (shes only been with her ex and me and he was mentally abusive), she is completely guarded, so everytimeS she starts to drop it with me, up it goes again and back to square one, she might cut might cut me off or push me away and our relationship was on and off because of it. Twice in the past and she even went back to her ex out of comfort and got engaged even tho she didntA really want to, I still got her back. Anyways the problem now,  the relationship, its isntitsBup and down mood swings after, never any threats or out like that.But one min I hate ger, next I love her. Deep down I've always been in love with her. Thats whats the hardest is getting that shift back to what I had it on, which got her back to me twice before

sorry bro, but I think you have your blinders on if you think you did nothing wrong. It takes two to tango.  Think of it this way.  maybe you didn't do anything "wrong" but perhaps you could have done something better.  EVERYONE has room for improvement ALWAYS.  Ask yourself what you could have done better.  there is always something.  Look at that nasty angry letter you wrote. It shows there is some **** going on that I think you are not facing up to. To be honest, it shows a lack of empathy.   So maybe you could have been more empathetic towards her in your relationship.  Try to look at the world completely through her eyes with true empathy.  then maybe you will see something you're missing.   But if you can't think of anything, just think about that letter.  You could take responsibility and apologize for writing that letter if you can't think of anything else. I'm just saying, if you're going to take off for while, she's probably pretty PO'd at you right now and it wouldn't hurt to leave with some nicer, more caring, more loving words for her to have in her mind as the last thing you said to her.

Regardless, if you want to use LOA you have to see that you played a role in creating the situation you're in.  You're not going to get very far here if you think it was all her fault and you had nothing to do with it.
 

Long time lurker, first time poster to the forum. I really like how everyone is supportive and positive here in comparison to another place I had frequent prior to joining Veronica's site.

Anyways, BooLala, your situation is eerily similar to mine minus a few aspects. After my ex and I broke up, I sent an angry message which resulted in him deactivating his FB. He didn't even read the msg. He simply deactivated and that was that. I was so hurt. Our break up was horrible. The things he said to me after two and half years together, placing all the blame without accountability for his wrong doings, and so much more. Our relationship came to an end with him hanging up. That's it. I haven't heard from him since.

On the surface, any respectful woman would not want someone like him back but I truly do believe he's a good person at the core of it. I know how he is, I know how he handles his emotions, and I know insecure he's become because his previous ex had cheated on him. Trust issues galore between us.

Long story short, it's been 8 months since. We still haven't talked or anything but what I noticed is, once I raised my vibration, moved on with my life, and started taking better care of myself, small signs would begin to show. One night, not that long ago, I had a passing thought of, "I wonder how he's doing. Would be nice if he unblocked me." Wouldn't you know it, the following morning, I was unblocked. Maybe it was coincidence or maybe it happened long before I noticed but the fact that it happened was enough for me to continue believing time apart is what we needed to heal not only our relationship but ourselves. I know he's going to come back. I know he's going to initiate contact but it's not my focus anymore. It's out there in the Universe, I've put in my request. All I can do is now is continue loving, enjoying, and appreciating all the greatness that's in my life now. I have incredible friends, family, and so much to be thankful for. I was fine before him and I will be just as incredible with or without him. What you need to realise and I know it's tough is that... you HAVE to be in control of you. Step back and take note if you would want YOU right now. If the answer isn't favourable, change that. Be the best version of you FOR YOU. Soon after, I will guarantee, everything will begin to fall into place. There's no greater worth in this life than your own. Value and cherish yourself first.

It took ages to get to where I am now - happy, calm and at peace. I never thought I would get to this place after our break up and yet here I am. Still standing and stronger than ever. You will be too. Keep your head up, heart open, and good things will happen.

Last edited by camber (4/16/2016 11:51 pm)