Honey    setbacks are just that     dont be in pain    a long time ago Vanessa Williams recorded a song    " you went and saved the best for last "    dont give up    Have  Faith  the Universe is working   but you have to keep your vibration up       

FIrst  I dont know how old you are sweetie   but   work on your self esteem   LOVE YOURSELF   take care of yourself     NUTURE YOU        Go to your library  read self help books .   Darling  your low self esteem is holding you back     Raise your self esteem  and you will see a change  in your vibration      and you will draw him      you will get another chance   and you want to be in the position to act upon it   

Hope this helps Honey

Have faith!!

Thank you for your supportive messages 

First of all it is really important not to avoid our natural feelings. So, this time, I gave to myself the permission to feel these feelings. I let myself feel all the pain, disappointment, sadnees, anger, confusion... I really really felt my feelings. I didn't avoid them. Now, I feel much better. Of course, my problem is still there, I know. But it feels like I felt all the pain and there is no pain in me any more. At least, this is what I am feeling now. If a few hours later or tomorrow the pain comes to me again, it is ok. I will feel it and I will let it go. 

I understood this, whis is very important: We don't over come our pain (or any negative feeling) by avoiding it or supressing it or trying to push it away. Only by feeling it and being it. By experiencing it. Giving it the permission to exist and express itself inside us. And allowing it to stay in our bodies as long as it wishes to. Then, it goes by itself. 

Then I thought about self love. There is a serious lack of self love in me. I wanted to learn how to love. Love means unconditional love. I realised that I always "loved" only in conditions. I believed that I will love myself only when I have and be what I want. I also realised that I loved others in the same way. In conditions. I had the same behavior for situations as well. I would believe in something only in conditions. 
So, now I am practicing to unconditional love. First, I abandonned the part of myself that loved only in conditions. This is something that my parents taught me. They told me "do this to have my love. If you don't, you won't have my love". They didn't use these exact words, but this was their behavior towards me. I don't want to be like this anymore. I want to learn to love in a most profound way. So, I began to feel love about the parts of me I always hated. Parts of my personality, my body, my life. I accept them, I don't want them to change in order to love them. I love them as they are. I have stopped avoiding to feel my negative feelings and stopped to be furstrated about doing things I don't like. I gave permission to myself to do the things I don't like in me but could never change. I say to myself "Even if you can't stop doing this, I love you. You don't have to be perfect to love you". It needs practice, but I like these changes and I am on this way.

The moment I released the bad feelings, these ideas came to me. The first one was to post here about my problem. The second one was to do what I described above. Unconditional love. So now, I say to myself "I am a person who experiences love in a more profound way than before: unconditionally. Nothing has to be perfect to be loved. I love unconditionally".


 

Last edited by Milk&Honey (11/24/2015 6:37 am)