I joined a niche art community in 2014 and eventually took on a leadership role in 2017. I met my SP in 2017 as well and in late 2018 our relationship moved from close friends to romantic. At the time we became friends, I had started to become disenchanted with the community and wanted a break, but meeting him made me love the hobby again. His energy made it fun and it felt worth my time.

Long story short, the romance and friendship suddenly fell apart (I think we both manifested a breakup through fear) and I spent months hoping we'd get back together and even made desperate attempts to reconcile; I definitely gave him power/demonstrated low self-esteem. After about 9 months of regularly seeing him in our shared space, I decided it was too painful and I stepped away from the community. As mentioned earlier, I was already tempted to step back from the community up until meeting him. Leaving has allowed me to heal and also rest/practice self-care in a way that was difficult when I was devoting so much time and energy into him and the community.

So what I'm wondering is if it's okay to return to the community when I feel ready. I miss my friends and having that particular creative and social outlet. I had in my head that in March or April (which would be 5 to 6 months after leaving) would be a good goal for returning. I'm already starting to feel more mentally and emotionally stable, but I can feel that I'm not quite ready to go back. My preference is for him reach out via text or unblocking and following me on social media before I return.

It would be ideal to go back to the community after I've reconciled with my SP, but I also don't want to miss out on other opportunities and memories while my SP manifestation is in progress. I'm afraid returning to our shared community will prevent manifesting a reconciliation, but if I was living as if I had him back in my life, I would be engaging in the community.

Last edited by sunflower10 (1/05/2020 12:25 pm)