Hello friends! I had posted months ago since I'm in a long quest to heal my relationship with my ex. I have manifested wonders lately, and always when I feel good about myself, but the situation with him has not hatched yet since I am still very attached to the outcome and dealing with some leftover neediness, trying to place all the focus on myself and on being happy right now with my own life. I can't say I'm there yet but I feel like I've made significant progress compared to how I was a couple of months ago, let along six months ago. I am quite proud of myself but still experience anxiety when it comes to my love.
I had posted many times about not knowing if he was being honest about being over me. I had the issue of having trouble to live in the end because his claim that he had no feelings left for me kept blocking the way, so I tried to manifest knowing for sure that he had feelings for me even if we wouldn't get in a relationship yet, so that then I could focus better. For months it didn't work but then I traveled, let go some, and a series of crazy things happened that showed me that he is undoubtedly in love with me, which is spectacular! I somehow learnt that he feels longing but doesn't regret his decision and tries to supress his feelings and move on. Turns out learning this didn't fix my discipline problems though (obvsly). We were in complete no contact for so long and I have now managed to manifest almost daily contact, much of which is initiated by him, and I'm so excited about that, although many times he cuts and ghosts even the most enthusiastic conversation abruptly, as if he's scared of something. When our friends see us together they say we look like flirty teenagers who have just discovered their crush for each other. However he's made clear that he doesn't want anyone, any kind of relationship in his life (which is both good and bad), and he's also made clear that he doesn't ever want me again because of my neediness and possessiveness in the past. I know you can manifest everything but I'm experiencing the following blocks, and I'd love your opinion on how you would tackle them: First I have the idea that he's focusing on his life, growth and self love at this moment and so am I (or at least, trying my best to get there). That should feel wonderful to me for the both of us from an unconditional love POV, but it worries me because I had this remaining belief from when I'd suffocated him, that him being self loving is mutually exclusive from being with me again, since he knows I've been toxic in the past. Second, he reacted exactly the same way when he broke up with his first relationship, when I first met him. He was devastated and still had feelings but didn't express them to her and didn't regret his decision, until eventually he started going out with me and moved on, so now naturally I fear that even if he still has feelings for me, his logical mind will help him move on. What would you suggest to get over these issues? Affirmations?