1 of 1- Rebs222
- New member
Offline - Registered: 8/29/2019
- Posts: 1
We're talking...what do I do now
Hi, i have been manifesting my partners return for quite some time but I just recently got more into understanding LOA. My sp and I have been talking since February but hes made it clear he wants to remain friends. Some things to note as that he did reach out to me to start speaking again but hes very hot and cold. Sometimes he's eager to find any reason to speak to me other times he acts like it is a chore. I'm doing a lot of visualization and living in the end and am getting rid of bad habits like checking his social media or posting just to get a reaction from him. The only real thing Im having trouble with is speaking to him. I'm aware im in a much better situation than most being that I did recieve my friend back but I'm having trouble communicating. Should I not message him first? Do I try to flirt? Should I just wait for him to make the moves? He seems adamant about being friends since he is hesitant to spend time alone with me and he doesn't like to go to in depth to how he's feeling. He brings up old inside jokes or situations from our past but seems to get scared and upset if I do the same. It's very confusing. I can tell he is fighting it and he is scared to open up to the idea of being together. Regardless I do live in the end but was just hoping for any advice on how to proceed with speaking to him until I get my end result.
- PrettyFlamingo
- Electrified
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- From: God's Own County
- Registered: 4/22/2016
- Posts: 1,867
Re: We're talking...what do I do now
Just one important thing that I learned. Wanting to not be in a romantic relationship with someone doesn't equate to being friends. Be absolutely clear about the distinction, and think about what being friends actually means. Then again there's accepting friendship as a consolation prize or the old chestnut of being "friends" in a somewhat manipulative sense as a route to a romantic relationship. Real friendship is precious and valuable; "just" friends annoys me as it implies a friendship is not as important as romance.
Just get absolutely clear about what YOU want first.
Be a flamingo in a flock of pigeons.
- Cynthia
- Lightning Bolt
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- Registered: 5/24/2017
- Posts: 1,322
Re: We're talking...what do I do now
Assuming you want to have a romantic relationship with him, you should do everything in your imagination and not attempt to manipulate the situation directly by taking any outward action. Not everyone who says they are living in the end really knows what that means, so to clarify just in case, that means that you go straight to the end in your imagination of having the relationship, or whatever your desire is, as it is the same principle for everything, and stay there, with everything being just the way you want it to be, making it as real as possible, feeling that you already have it and thinking from the standpoint of already having it.
Should you not message him first? No.
Do you try to flirt? No.
Should you just wait for him to make the moves? Yes.
Act normally outwardly. Don't try to force anything, don't try to talk him into anything, don't get upset if he's hot and cold, etc. right now. Just do everything in your imagination, including imagining him treating you and behaving exactly as you want him to.
Below is a link to Neville's Mental Diets, short version, which you should find very instructive.
Last edited by Cynthia (8/29/2019 1:21 am)
The first man to raise a fist is the man who has run out of ideas.
- PrettyFlamingo
- Electrified
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- From: God's Own County
- Registered: 4/22/2016
- Posts: 1,867
Re: We're talking...what do I do now
Cynthia wrote:
Assuming you want to have a romantic relationship with him, you should do everything in your imagination and not attempt to manipulate the situation directly by taking any outward action. Not everyone who says they are living in the end really knows what that means, so to clarify just in case, that means that you go straight to the end in your imagination of having the relationship, or whatever your desire is, as it is the same principle for everything, and stay there, with everything being just the way you want it to be, making it as real as possible, feeling that you already have it and thinking from the standpoint of already having it.
Should you not message him first? No.
Do you try to flirt? No.
Should you just wait for him to make the moves? Yes.
Act normally outwardly. Don't try to force anything, don't try to talk him into anything, don't get upset if he's hot and cold, etc. right now. Just do everything in your imagination, including imagining him treating you and behaving exactly as you want him to.
Below is a link to Neville's Mental Diets, short version, which you should find very instructive.
100% agree!
Be a flamingo in a flock of pigeons.
Veronica Isles LOA coach veronicaislescoaching.com