Sanshi wrote:

piper wrote:

I've been reading Neville for a long time, and I think I've always tried to fix how people see me, knowing that it's the way I see myself, but have never quite been able to fully grasp how to do it. This is where I'm stuck. I know the type of person I am and how I desire to see him and our relationship, and how I want him to see me, just not sure how to go about it. Visualization, affirmations, and self-talk are things the I've implemented into my daily life, but then my insecurities mess with me and it feels as though I lose everything that I've done that day. Perhaps revision would be something that I should do nightly. Thank you so much for your help. Sorry if I ask more questions. 
 

Just found that quote: "Once we think in terms of influence rather than 'clarity of the end desired', the imagination becomes an effort of will and the great art of imagining is perverted into tyranny." ~Neville Goddard (The Law and the Promise-Chapter 3)

This is not in the head. Affirmations are in the head, therefore they doesn't work (unless you accidentally leave the head and go into feeling it for a moment without going back). Visualisation for most is also in the head. Same thing. Most manage to get into emotion, but they stop before they can reach knowing. The problem I see with self-talk is that it comes from a state. So it's already a manifestation. At least in my experience, I find myself going back to my old self-talk after a while and it takes a lot of effort to keep the "new" self-talk alive at some point. That's why the state keeps the same.
What I have been doing lately is really watching myself. Something happens, I observe myself giving meaning, I observe myself imagining a scene that implies something. It do exactly what Neville teaches, but it isn't only visualisation, it's much more than that. Watch yourself doing that. You will see that you repeat over and over a scene that implies something. When we see how this works unconsciously, we can use it consciously.

Revision is a good technique to do. It's basically also feeling it real, just projected into the past. We can't rely on our memory anyway. So why not saving a version we prefer?

Interesting, thank you. It makes absolute sense. Affirmations work for me, for a while, but yes, they tend to lose their power, with me. I get a lot of feeling out of visualizing, but I'm always very careful about what tense I am visualizing in. I don't do elaborate scenes with lots of detail because it distracts me from the main focus of my visualization, but I always try and keep it simple and to the point. Self-talk is one of those that I struggle with, and takes a lot of energy and focus to maintain.

I had a bit of a realization about how I joke around with my boyfriend. He is a guy who is constantly joking around and sometimes takes it a bit too far. When he gets to that point, I always call him mean (I won't again). He isn't a mean person, but he was a little mean to me the other day, which is not how he usually is. I know this seems stupid, but it makes me realize how much my words affect others behavior. I didn't think I was putting any sort of feeling into it, but apparently, I was. Again, something else for me to work on.

Oasiscalm wrote:

piper wrote:

Oasiscalm wrote:

Don't look to LOA to change a person, use it to change your experience with a person. See in them the person you want to see and that will be reflected back to you.

Similar to your experience I have a work colleague in my department who is considered by all to be a difficult and moody person to work with.By his own admission he says he is grumpy. But for me I find his grumpiness - endearing. And I have a great working relationship with him because I don't see his difficult nature as a barrier.

It doesn't matter what the person's personality is - it what you want to experience with that person that you attract.

So here's my question: how do I ignore certain behaviors in a person? I know I'm overthinking it, here. I'm in an awesome relationship, but there are some things I could do without, if that makes sense. We have a great relationship 99% of the time, but I'm always looking to improve it, including myself. I'm confused as to how I do this.

Do try to ignore it because it will cause you to keep seeing it.

Acceptance of what is, is the first liberating step. It allows you to stop pushing against what you don't want. So if you can accept him for him - flaws and all - in that minute your energy will change because you are no longer projecting a need vibration.

Generally we want people to change because something they are doing doesn't make us feel good. So stop taking another person's action personally. Move the focus away from what you don't like - when you stop focusing on what you don't like in that person, you stop giving it energy.

It always comes back to you - your experience of another person's actions is never about that persons action - it is always about how that action makes you feel.

An example is my friend was moaning recently that she wishes her bf would call and text her more. She thought he wasn't paying her enough attention and that he was selfish. Her anxiety about this situation was all about her own insecurities. His actions were feeding into her insecurities. When I explained his frequency of communication was not an indication of his feelings for her - she got some insight into what was driving her focus on the unwanted attention.

Always bring the focus back to you and then act from there.

This is wonderful. Thank you! I think I have the same problem as your friend lol. I would like to say that I accept him for exactly who he is, but maybe there are some things that I need to think about. 
 

Sanshi wrote:

piper wrote:

I had a bit of a realization about how I joke around with my boyfriend. He is a guy who is constantly joking around and sometimes takes it a bit too far. When he gets to that point, I always call him mean (I won't again). He isn't a mean person, but he was a little mean to me the other day, which is not how he usually is. I know this seems stupid, but it makes me realize how much my words affect others behavior. I didn't think I was putting any sort of feeling into it, but apparently, I was. Again, something else for me to work on.

It's not your words, but how much truth you give your words. Feeling is not emotion. You feel emotion physically in your heart area. Feeling something true is more in the belly area. When you call him mean, it's not that you feel bad about it or happy about it. But if you would say to him "that was a nice thing to say", it would feel a little off to you, because what you believe in is that it wasn't so nice to say that. If I would tell you that someone called me fat the other day and if I would ask for your opinion about that, you would probably say that this isn't a nice thing to say and you would mean it, because that's what you feel real about it. What you feel real about him is that he is sometimes a little mean and that's what you get.

Hmmm...that makes more sense. Something else for me to work on. Thank you!

Thank you, PF. It IS very good and well worth reading.