Anita wrote:

PrettyFlamingo wrote:

I'd be more inclined to work out what it was about me that wanted a "bad boy" first before focusing on the guys themselves. 
https://www.zoosk.com/date-mix/dating-advice/dating-advice-women/why-do-girls-like-bad-boys-what-we-can-learn-from-the-science-of-attraction/

 

 
How this can help me manifest a relationship with this my specific person?:D

That isn't why I posted it. If you read my post before that, ie working out what made you want what you call a bad boy first, before focusing on the guys themselves, you would see that the link referred to that comment. It's up to you what you do ultimately, but if personally I was having the same result over and over again (ie not getting the relationship I wanted). I'd work out what was driving me to be attracted to that sort of character in the first place, not blithely pursue another guy exactly the same as the last no matter how much I fancied them. 

Working on self-esteem, and living in the end by visualisation and creating the scene you want in your imagination first - and persevering with it - about which there are several posts on here in the respective areas - will help. But it's up to you what you do, ultimately. 
 

Anita wrote:

Two my exes wanted a relationship and later they  broke up with me with words they dont want a relationship with nobody and later they have a relationship with another girl...this actually man isnt my ex (he is first boy after looong time after my ex who attract me so much ..)I meet him online in january and we started text and he texted me he cant have a relationship because he will work in different country one year and he will go home  less so he want just be fwb  yet..and a few days ago we had a little argument and he told me that he is a complicated personallity and this is reason too he cant have a relationship even thought he want love someome so much....so I have always  a similar situation with a new boy and I dont know why..I was think I have to change my selfconfident etc , but maybe a selflove nothing change ..and I dont know what attract me on these boys..They are my type boy. They are a funny, selfconfident,  nice , a typicall bad boys but  good ways(OK they are had a problems with law in the past but nothing serius.. )..And  what is unnatural, Im from happy family and they are from divorced family.I dont know why I attract in my life these types ..

Every single part of this is JUST a story you are telling. It’s not real. You alone are making it real and true by commanding it into being. You are saying “this is how it is”, and so it is true. Watch the videos I suggested to you and tell a different story

fizzy wrote:

PrettyFlamingo wrote:

I'd be more inclined to work out what it was about me that wanted a "bad boy" first before focusing on the guys themselves. 
https://www.zoosk.com/date-mix/dating-advice/dating-advice-women/why-do-girls-like-bad-boys-what-we-can-learn-from-the-science-of-attraction/

 

‘The bad boy type’ is also just a story, though. The type itself doesn’t exist on its own. If we literally are creating every single part of our realities, which is what this forum is supposed to be about discussing, then you alone have the ability to create or ‘un-create’ a man to be a ‘bad boy’. It’s not set in stone. People don’t have unchangeable personality traits. We create their personalities.

But I dont  want change bad boy 😄 I like how they are but I just want a perfect lovely relationship with this type..so yes I have to change story I telling..and beliefs etc. but its so hard for me because Im so large pessimist..but thank you for your advice..
 

fizzy wrote:

Anita wrote:

But I dont  want change bad boy 😄 I like how they are but I just want a perfect lovely relationship with this type..so yes I have to change story I telling..and beliefs etc. but its so hard for me because Im so large pessimist..but thank you for your advice..
 

If you like the way he is showing up in your reality currently, then you only need to change your thinking when it comes to him being in love with you. Which makes it easier because you are already satisfied with who he is for the most part.

Yes, I just dont like his hot and cold behavior. I want text with him every evening

PrettyFlamingo wrote:

Don't you want to have a relationship with him, not texts?

 
I want a relationship with him but he is now in different coutnry than me and so we cant have a relationship now so I want least  text with him often

Last edited by Anita (5/23/2019 1:39 pm)