Oxolove wrote:

I’ve been trying to talk to him and he won’t respond to my calls or texts 😞

You've got to do it in your imagination first because that's what created whatever problem there is in the first place. If you are trying to manipulate outward conditions whilst you're in the wrong state, as Neville said, it is to struggle against the very nature of things. If you feel rejected by him, for example, and you still feel rejected and perhaps only have a bit of hope that this will change, you've got to imagine him being receptive and warming up to you or something along those lines first before you can expect things to change in the outside world. You have to change it in your mind first so it will change outwardly. It's something like you'll see it when you believe it, not the other way round like most people say - I'll believe it when I see it. No, unfortunately, you'll see it when you believe it.

Last edited by Cynthia (4/25/2019 9:48 am)

Oxolove wrote:

Thank you for replying Cynthia. I think I just keep making things worse on myself. He blocked me again for over contacting him.. . I know I need to stop being needy and desperate and focus on myself. I want to believe I can do this because I know and have seen proof that this works. It’s just so hard to focus when you think you completely blew this time..

 

You do have to stop being needy and desperate, but too many people nowadays are too focussed on themselves already, which is a big part of the problem in human relationships, in my view. Below is a link to the short version of Neville's Mental Diets, in which he explains what he means by everybody being you pushed out, how everybody talks to themselves all the time, and how changing your self talk about another person can change their reaction to you and can completely turn a situation with them around.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Pc6JSsbW4U

Last edited by Cynthia (5/07/2019 9:12 am)

Oxolove wrote:

Thank you! I will listen to it and try to apply it. I just have a lot of fear of doing all of this and not getting the relationship with him.. I know I’m blocking my self from receiving it. 😔

 
I think a lot of people feel that way, but what have you really got to lose? Nothing except some effort, and what if it works? That is a possibility, and you've got at least a 50% chance of success, and that's a lot better than no chance.