Cynthia wrote:

The impression I got from reading your post is that you've been trying too hard, are being too hard on yourself, and that you've been trying to force things, especially forcing yourself to do certain things, and also like you have a sense of urgency for the relationship with your SP to be what you want it to be.

I wish I could give you some advice so you wouldn't be so hard on yourself. I don't think that your living situation has been helping. All of that moving about in recent months that I know you've been doing must be unsettling.

I listen to Neville a lot, and he's always talking about the importance of patience, persistence, and faith and not being concerned with how long you may think that something is taking, as well as assuming that what you want to be true is true already and that if you maintain that assumption that it will eventually become true, as he puts it 'will harden into fact.'. What you imagine doesn't have to be crystal clear, and it is the feeling of already having your desire that is the important thing anyway. When I've listened to Neville tell the story, many times now, about how he got honourably discharged from the army, and he's telling about how he fell asleep and had the dream about a hand coming down and crossing out 'disapproved' and writing 'approved' on the paperwork and hearing the voice telling him that it was done and to do nothing, that was a very definite and clear message to him. I don't think that you've got to that point yet if you're still going back and forth.

I'm probably much too patient, if there is such a thing, but I haven't heard from my SP for over 2 years and only this year made up my mind that I want the relationship with him after being indecisive for a long time and started living in the end. I do have very strong faith and am not bothered about how long it takes, but I do various things to keep my faith strong and to reinforce what I'm doing, things like listening to a few very relevant songs, or if I'm having a day when I'm feeling down I listen to Neville. Sometimes I listen to him all night when I'm lying there in bed awake. Finding some things that are meaningful to you in this sort of way could be helpful. I've said this elsewhere a couple of times, but I have had a male pen friend for 8 years who just wrote to me the other week a second time in succession without my writing to him in between to tell me that he 'found himself missing me' and proceeded to tell me in a friendship way the things I've been imagining my SP saying in a more romantic way, so I reckon that my imaginal acts have been working if they are affecting somebody they aren't even intended for.

I hope you can find a way of being less hard on yourself and being more relaxed and patient about things because stressing yourself out and getting your knickers in a twist over everything is counterproductive. Try assuming that your desire is true already. Time doesn't matter, distance doesn't matter. You're a lot younger than I am, and in the natural scheme of things you've got a lot more time left than I do, and I'm not bothered about how long it takes. In fact, in general, it has been my experience that the less bothered I am about how long something takes, the faster it happens.

Good insight. I get that too when people are at attention to me when I imagine my sp being with me. I manifest tons of small stuff from him but I want bigger. How does one cope and feel like it’s true in imagination when the subconscious is filled with the person being mean to you. I’m going through that right now. Revision ? Continue imagining until your subconscious believes that it’s yours? Sometimes this is easier said than done. I have been imagining every night yet during the waking day I don’t feel like it’s going to happen. That contradiction is probably what is keeping my sp away saying it will happen doesn’t really help.

Aquilina wrote:

Cynthia wrote:

The impression I got from reading your post is that you've been trying too hard, are being too hard on yourself, and that you've been trying to force things, especially forcing yourself to do certain things, and also like you have a sense of urgency for the relationship with your SP to be what you want it to be.

Thanks Cynthia. This...yes...it's exactly what I've been doing. Self-discipline in life in general is one thing, but forcing oneself to do something that may not even be the best way, because of fear, is another. I think I haven't been trusting myself, out of fear that the negative programming will get the better of me and make my thoughts be counterproductive. Thankfully the living situation isn't too bad now that I am settled here. It's not ideal but having less responsibilty for a while is great.

Some positive things happened today and I feel a lot more relaxed. I woke up and remembered that what we desire is already ours and that imagining is just a preview of the experience. I realised that, because of this, I can enjoy it without the pressure. This allowed me to give myself permission to start living in the end again and thinking from it ie. Okay it's mine and my thoughts about it come from appreciation that it's already mine.

I also realised why the subliminals I used to listen to got me to where I was. They made me feel the wish fulfilled, simple as that. They weren't really subliminal, just one of the ones with multiple voices playing at the same time. I listened to it every day, before sleep and when I woke up, and sometimes another couple of times during the day. I did that for a month or so and that was when he invited me to see him. I am just so glad I realised that I was actually feeling the wish fulfilled because of the words they were saying. It's so obvious now, but at the time I just felt like I was winging it and hoping for the best, but now it makes sense.

The main positive thing that happened today was that I revised a couple of memories from my childhood. They weren't on my list of memories to revise, they just came up as I was relaxing. I felt a definite shift after that. Then, as I had been thinking about a particular period of time, I remember the days where I used to be fat and it made me uncomfortable in various strange ways. So, I lay down and did a short mindfulness meditation. After taking a few deep breaths, I felt those feelings dissolve but I think that programming was actually released, not just temporarily. I felt joy, then later on as I was working, I felt a big surge of energy and I felt like a new person. None of the old stuff has come back, which it would have by now if it was just temporary relief. Without whatever it was that I released, I feel a lot better about having faith in all of this.

I will start listening to Neville again. I kept listening to the Secret of God for a while and recently I haven't studied much because I wasn't really applying it so I took a break so I could start, but now is a good time to get back into it. Yeah I've heard similar stories to the one about your friend. I saw on the Neville reddit page, that someone had been visualising a scene with their sp, and their friend had a dream of their exact scene. I also had something similar recently. A friend told me she was having a coffee and image of him and me came to her mind, and she hadn't been thinking about it at that time. It was similar to what I'd been imagining earlier that day.

I'll get to that point where I've felt the reality of it clearly enough to KNOW that it is, without question. I wrote a post some time ago about how I had started to think from it more and have these moments of feeling a new reality. I wrote about how I literally felt like I was between different worlds and it was trippy. Well, I realised that's what was going on...I was feeling the truth of the reality to the extent that it was unquestionably planted in my subconscious. And it's not trippy anymore, the idea of it. It happened once a few weeks ago as well. I remembered times in the past with other manifestations where I'd done this without even realising. It's easier to assume a thing is already ours after that moment has happened, I think.

You're welcome. That recording you mentioned sounds interesting. What is it and where did you get it?
 

Aquilina wrote:

https://youtu.be/oqX7q_tV2N0

This is the one, and that channel has a lot of similar ones.

I’ve been wondering, what do we do to make things click in that moment that we feel the realness of a state? I want to get better at feeling states deeply. Like when I just felt that I lived abroad and completely denied being where I lived, despite literally everything around me, just for a few moments. I want to do that because that really worked.

I told myself all this here isn’t real. But I felt it deeply. Compared to just saying words that feel empty,

Thanks. I think you're trying to be too perfectionistic. I was brought up to be that way myself, and it's taken a long time to get over it.

You'll get better with practice and repetition, like with learning any other new skill or changing a belief. In my most recent reply to the new person calling himself roomnumber16, I told him what I personally do that helps me, if you're interested. You don't have to be perfect at all times. It must be an unusual person who never has a down moment.
 

I forget sometimes that it is actually a skill and will get better with practise. As well as it being a skill that is counter-intuitive to get better at, as far as effort is concerned. Those ideas about getting places through "hard work".

I've been a bit distracted in the last few days...I became a bit obsessed with someone online who I would like to meet and I will manifest meeting him. He has such an incredible, powerful energy about him and I felt so drawn to him that it took my attention off my sp. I'm not going to try to manifest more with this other person, since I've never met him, but it really caught my attention, the feelings that this person brings up in me. Got a bit confused about this hypothetical idea of having to choose between them haha.

There's one on that channel which is about 50 minutes long and it has reverse and sped up messages as well as the normal ones. I listened to that a few times back then as well. I just like it because it was longer. It's called "Be in his thoughts 24/7" or something like that. Normally I use the custom made one while I'm working but I'll keep listening to one of these ones before bed as well for now.

Okay I'll have a look at that user's post, thanks.

Last edited by Aquilina (3/23/2019 7:08 pm)