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1/03/2019 10:45 pm  #1

Is no contact absolutely necessary?

Hi all, could use some wisdom.

I'm fresh out of a breakup, and I know that I have a lot of self-loving to do. I'm doing a lot in terms of manifesting; visualising whenever I have time (I took time off work so I'm free practically all of the time, plus I also work from home anyway), planning a vision board, watching Agnes mostly for manifesting and self-love meditations, sending love to my boyfriend when my heart feels full after self-love meditation and affirmations, reiterating to myself that our home is a home full of loveland kindness, talking to my boyfriend as if he's here.Β 

The thing is, he still lives with me. He's planning to move out mid-March when the lease is up so I will look for a new place (if the universe decides we're not ready to reunite, that is!). We still talk like we did before (our relationship turned more into a friendship near the end), but sometimes it can be difficult depending on his mood (he's usually down after returning home from work).Β 

Has anyone manifested their ex while still in regular contact? One of the reasons why he was hurt by me is because I don't talk much or open up. I feel no contact would really hurt him more. I feel like I want to treat him how I should have treated him before (without overstepping the line that is currently there). Also, an awful ex did the same thing to me, and I absolutely hated him for it. I wouldn't want to do something to others that I don't want done to me.

Thank you in advance


1/04/2019 6:04 am  #2

Re: Is no contact absolutely necessary?

Just talk it out. Tell him what you feel and just share it with him. Do something that you both like doing together. Stop contact is really hurtful and once you stop it makes it even harder to sort things out.
You’ve a big advantage if he’s still around you. Sit and talk it out. Listen him out too maybe he wants to tell you something. Giving up is not an option
Good luck.


1/04/2019 7:26 am  #3

Re: Is no contact absolutely necessary?

Thanks backon. We did watch a movie together the other night which was good. He's hot and cold all the time, so sometimes hard to talk to, sometimes really easy like it always used to be. I'll keep sending him good vibes and doing everything I can.
I do feel I had a setback just now though. I overheard him having 'guy talk' with a friend; I couldn't hear what the friend was saying so I went downstairs and told him to leave because his words hurt me. My emotions just took over...he was really cold like I have never seen before as he practically told me to 'do my own thing' and that I had misunderstood everything.Β 
I gave him ten minutes and apologised, told him how hard it was for me to hear him talk like that as he never used to. It really hurt because he was talking about a redhead which I knew when I met him he had a thing for. I was never threatened by that until now...When I apologised he changed for a minute into the nice person he I know he is and apologised back and said he knew it must be hard for me to hear...
I feel as if I've undone all the good of the past week.Β 

     Thread Starter

1/09/2019 6:38 pm  #4

Re: Is no contact absolutely necessary?

No contact is usually a suggestion for those who will constantly bombard their ex with texts, calls and pretty much attention that the ex doesn't want.Β 
If you're on good terms with the person, there's no harm, unless it gets too needy.Β 

Easier said than done, I know but just try to pay no mind to the whole crush thing, what you resist persists.Β 

It Is Not What Happens To You, It Is How You Respond To It.Β 

1/09/2019 6:48 pm  #5

Re: Is no contact absolutely necessary?

Thanks Serendipity. I feel in the last week I have made nice progress; lots of reading and implementing structured techniques everyday. I treat him as I did before I pushed him away - never a doubt, always trusting. I've accepted that my reality has already been created now

Yes, still some moments are difficult but I am learning every time to turn things into the positive. I'm making more of an effort than ever to enjoy my life on my own, and enjoy the time that he and I do spend together, which is usually very comfortable and friendly.Β 

     Thread Starter

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