1 - iamme
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- Posts: 14
I’m stuck. Advice on long-term casual to committed?
Hi!-
Apologies for the long story but I could really use some advice. I have been seeing my SP casually for about two years now and have begun to realize how good we are for one another. Truly, we’ve always communicated well, been very respectful of one another and time together is pretty effortless. Beyond the physical, in the last six months we started to spend even our free time together like couples will. Recently, I brought up the conversation and he said that he didn’t want a relationship period and I went into a low state and definitely felt the sense of panic in myself - I mentioned that I didn’t expect feelings to develop on my end - which I honestly did not (we have eerily similar pasts and hurts so when we met we both wanted something casual). He got frustrated that I continued the conversation and even said that I wasn’t his type. Hearing that really hurt me so I left and also started to emotionally distance myself. He apologized three days later and we started to hang out again, mutually deciding to pause on the physical level for now. Another thing to add to the madness, we’ve been long distance for about a year since I moved across the country for a job - but he always kept in contact with me through no effort on my part. That same job has always brought me back to the same city every couple months so we were always able to meet again in person. He even by my surprise got a job at the same company as me (though we do very different things). He started last week coincidentally while we are both in the same city and office and told me today that he was being sent to my office next month and so we made future plans to spend together then. We even spent the majority of the last and this week together but he still hasn’t brought up wanting a commitment. It is strange, because since our conversation, we’ve nearly tripled the amount of quality time we spend together when we’re in the same city, which is great but now he’s hesitant to be affectionate towards me. Can anyone help advise me on what I could be doing to bring us to commitment or should I just accept that we want different things and move on? I just feel almost to my bones that he feels the same way I do, but maybe I’m kidding myself. Please help!
- akuma
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Re: I’m stuck. Advice on long-term casual to committed?
Well first I must say that you are in a really good state.....as you already have your person lol....So first of be grateful for that.
Now you got to focus on what you want rather than what you don't.Your focus is too much on the current reality......that he doesn't want a relationship he isn't talking seriously....bla....bla... Remember everyone is you. If you say and feel that he isn't ready for relationship then you are offering him insecurity through your vibrations. So you completely ignore what he says just focus on what you want(in your mind). Don't force him. You don't have worry about his mind and stance because your thoughts and vibration is one of the connection so you are going to dominate the connection if you keep your vibrations high ......U do that by being happy , not expecting ,loving yourself and all those positive feelings.......
Just visualize what you want....visualize him saying those words which you want to listen...you can try rs and whispering technique....and have faith.
- iamme
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Re: I’m stuck. Advice on long-term casual to committed?
Thank you akuma. I am so wrapped up in all this I forgot to be grateful for what I do have. I will try to focus only on what I do want and my confidence - hoping to report back a successful story very soon!
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Thread Starter- akuma
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Re: I’m stuck. Advice on long-term casual to committed?
Glad to help you 
- iamme
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Re: I’m stuck. Advice on long-term casual to committed?
One more question for everyone. A friend recently advised that I tell my SP that I can’t be friends with someone that I have feelings for and cut off all contact until he makes the commitment. I thought about it and it just didn’t “feel” like the action that I should take. Our communication has been constant and don’t the best partners have a good foundation of being like best friends? What is the best path forward? Should I take the advice of my friend?
Tiny update: I was told just today that I will soon be working in the same city as my person for six months.
Last edited by iamme (12/07/2018 11:22 pm)
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Thread Starter- akuma
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Re: I’m stuck. Advice on long-term casual to committed?
Its quite complicated .......I think you should try it for a while because that might give him space and time to think that what is your value in his life. And once you stop talking he will definitely miss you. The foundation is already friendship and it has got nothing to do with no contact. If he tries to convince you with the friendship thing dont get convinced. You should try no contact for a while(a month) but don't stretch too long. And during the period of no contact work on yourself and keep visualizing the relationship you want.
- iamme
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Re: I’m stuck. Advice on long-term casual to committed?
Thank you Akuma I actually drafted a message over the past few days saying I couldn’t be just friends but before I got to send it he suddenly messaged me the dates he will come to visit and suggested dinner after work during the week and that we discuss plans for that weekend. Should I move forward with spending time with him or still stand my ground and say I can’t be friends?
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Thread Starter- Cynthia
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Re: I’m stuck. Advice on long-term casual to committed?
iamme wrote:
Thank you Akuma
If you send that message to him, you will be attempting to manipulate outward conditions directly, and under the circumstances that doesn't seem like a very good idea to me. What you should have been doing and should do now is live in the end of the wish fulfilled in your imagination of having the relationship you want with this person like it is already an accomplished fact and not try to overtly influence or convince him of anything. Imagination creates reality. I strongly recommend studying and applying the teachings of Neville Goddard to this situation and every situation.
The first man to raise a fist is the man who has run out of ideas.
- akuma
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Re: I’m stuck. Advice on long-term casual to committed?
This might not be an LOA advice but just go on that date ....have lots of fun ...and ignore the reality.Feel like you are going with your boyfriend. And then later on tell him that you can't do this anymore because this friendship thing is to for you and you need time. See the idea of no contact is to make him realize what is your value in his life . So nc is your choice .........so keep no contact accordingly and also tell him the truth. Just be honest. Keep your vibes high and keep visualizing .
Last edited by akuma (12/15/2018 12:40 am)
- iamme
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Re: I’m stuck. Advice on long-term casual to committed?
Thank you Akuma
If you send that message to him, you will be attempting to manipulate outward conditions directly, and under the circumstances that doesn't seem like a very good idea to me. What you should have been doing and should do now is live in the end of the wish fulfilled in your imagination of having the relationship you want with this person like it is already an accomplished fact and not try to overtly influence or convince him of anything. Imagination creates reality. I strongly recommend studying and applying the teachings of Neville Goddard to this situation and every situation.
Thank you Cynthia I have been reading Neville but where I seem to get stuck is that I focus on having the relationship I want and then I remember what he has said and get discouraged. Do you have ways or teachings you recommend to help me get past what has happened?
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Thread StarterVeronica Isles LOA coach veronicaislescoaching.com