I'm not trying to get an ex back because that doesn't interest me personally, and I've already told you so many things privately that I don't even remember if I told you these ones or not. There are a couple of things that have helped me get over some very negative feelings for a certain person. Granted he didn't say what your 'ex' said to you, he just cut me off without a word after I'd been exceptionally good to him for years, so that caused a lot of hurt, anger, and resentment toward him to build up. The first thing I tried that had any effect on this was the ho'oponopono prayer. I did that for only a few minutes, put my all into it, got very emotional and cried a lot, but it worked a treat and had long lasting results, but they didn't last forever because he cut me off all over again and caused the same negative feelings. This time what helped me get over the negative feelings toward him so I could think about him in a positive way again was to do a form of Neville's revision. I wrote myself a letter from him to me saying exactly what I wanted him to say and I reread it until it felt real. Then I was able to imagine and feel things being the way I wanted them to be between us, to live in the end.

Since this situation has very likely given your confidence a knock, you could sort of be putting him on a pedestal and giving him a lot of power over you to hurt you and to call all of the shots, so I think it could be beneficial to you to see yourself as at least an equal, that you are at least as good as he is.

I think part of your problem is that you're a lawyer and may have some trouble being other than what you see as 'realistic'. Be what some people might call 'delusional', or what you might see as 'delusional', in that case.

Coffeeplease wrote:

Yes, I think you hit the nail on the head about allowing myself to be “intentionally delusional.” Maybe I should just focus on the fact that these emotions are temporary and to keep my eyes (imagination) on creating the bigger picture (end result). Basically, seeing the emotions as just emotions and not anything more??

Being delusional is a really good advice. What can make this even easier is to realize that you aren't actually being delusional, when you feel that you are delusional. Google gives me the following definition of the word: "characterized by or holding idiosyncratic beliefs or impressions that are contradicted by reality". But what are you defining as reality? Are you buying into the physical "facts"? Or could you fully accept that this physical facts are only the results of your internal reality? Physical facts have only power, if you base your imagining on them. But you don't have to do that. You could take every power from the physical world by fully accepting that it has no power and that the true reality is the sum of what you have accepted as true. That makes you free. And it saves you a lot of time and energy, because you don't have to think about "what is" anymore.

Emotions come from what you accept as true. When you change what you accept as true, your emotions change automatically.
 

Sanshi wrote:

Coffeeplease wrote:

Yes, I think you hit the nail on the head about allowing myself to be “intentionally delusional.” Maybe I should just focus on the fact that these emotions are temporary and to keep my eyes (imagination) on creating the bigger picture (end result). Basically, seeing the emotions as just emotions and not anything more??

Being delusional is a really good advice. What can make this even easier is to realize that you aren't actually being delusional, when you feel that you are delusional. Google gives me the following definition of the word: "characterized by or holding idiosyncratic beliefs or impressions that are contradicted by reality". But what are you defining as reality? Are you buying into the physical "facts"? Or could you fully accept that this physical facts are only the results of your internal reality? Physical facts have only power, if you base your imagining on them. But you don't have to do that. You could take every power from the physical world by fully accepting that it has no power and that the true reality is the sum of what you have accepted as true. That makes you free. And it saves you a lot of time and energy, because you don't have to think about "what is" anymore.

Emotions come from what you accept as true. When you change what you accept as true, your emotions change automatically.
 

That’s a great way to frame it. Now i am telling myself that it was just a bad dream...