Cottoncandy wrote:

Hi everyone,

So I was here a while ago because the guy that I love left me. After a few months I’m finally in contact with him again. I was very excited and of course I am grateful for the second chance. However, this is not the relationship that I want. He remains the same. Intially he was very good and consistent, but after only a few weeks he starts to do all the things that annoys me like being flakey and saying sorry after. I remember that I used to get really angry over such things and would start fights.

My question is how to get him to be how I want him to be? Is this possible? Or does this go against his freewill? Moreover, if anyone has any advice that is not related to law of attraction, I would love to hear those as well.

I think I love him, but I am really really tired of all these. I don’t want to be with someone that disrespects me and always put me last on his list. I am considering to just move on as painful as it is, I know that God/ The Universe will always have my back and I might just meet someone even more special than him in the future. What do you guys think?

 
Imagine the relationship as you would like it to be as if you've already got it, with him showing you the love and respect you deserve and treating you as a priority and persist in doing this.  For a sort of non-loa approach by someone who also talks about it a bit without calling it that I highly recommend Light His Fire by Ellen Kreidman. Changing your attitude and behaviour toward him can change his toward you, even in a non-loa defined way.

Last edited by Cynthia (8/11/2018 2:29 pm)

Cottoncandy wrote:

Cynthia wrote:

 
Imagine the relationship as you would like it to be as if you've already got it, with him showing you the love and respect you deserve and treating you as a priority and persist in doing this.  For a sort of non-loa approach by someone who also talks about it a bit without calling it that I highly recommend Light His Fire by Ellen Kreidman. Changing your attitude and behaviour toward him can change his toward you, even in a non-loa defined way.

Hi Cynthia,
 
Hmm, would you mind giving me some examples? I feel like this is a lot harder than imagining him back because then I was not in contact with him, so it was like a blank canvas where I could imagine him however I wanted him to be. Initially it was a lot harder because I was still sad and feeling guilty about how things ended. But now that he’s “back” and treating me like this, it lowers my vibration. I would get so happy and excited every time he texts and say something nice, but then get nervous as to when he would reply. Thank you

 
I understand what you're saying. It's easier to imagine things the way you want them to be when you're not in contact and don't see that things are not as you'd like them to be. However, he is 'back', so give yourself some credit for achieving that much. That's a step in the right direction. I would choose a time, before you go to sleep is when Neville used to do it, get yourself into a sleepy, drowsy state, which is when your subconscious mind is at its most receptive, and in your imagination create a scene that is exactly the way you want your relationship to be and make it as real as possible as though it were already true right now. As Neville said, imagination creates reality, and he talked about living in the end of the wish fulfilled, thinking from it rather than of it. Whatever you don't like, imagine the opposite being true, so if he isn't reliable and lets you down, for example, imagine him being reliable and dependable and always there if and when you need him. If he breaks dates or doesn't show up at all, imagine him showing up on time and being happy and excited to be with you, or whatever it is you'd like and has meaning to you. Repeat this scene every night, or whenever you do it, be patient, and do your best to ignore him behaving in undesirable ways when you're together. That book I mentioned is really useful because the author explains how men and women differ in the way they think about and perceive things due to thinking with opposite sides of their brains, and she tells you specific things to say and do that can make a big difference in your relationship. I've listened to the cd version recently, but I think the book contains the same material.