Veronica's Law of Attraction Forum » What do I do?

Cait11 · 6/19/2018 6:51 pm

This maybe doesn't sound like a big deal, but I'm feeling thrown off and confused. I need some help realigning.

I just talked to my ex on the phone briefly. Like i said, I feel confused now. He used the term "judgement free friendship" in regards to us, which kinda made me want to die. I don't want to be friends, obviously, I want him back.

Then he was telling me I should come out to the club to "drive the lesbians wild" or something? Because I have dyed hair, a tattoo.... And then my ex made mention of certain physical attributes of mine (& in a way that he would've mentioned them were we together). He also asked if I'd lost weight and said I looked good or something like that.

He also brought up the cute pharmacist he's been flirting with (who referred to the girl he's seeing as his "current"), and apparently there's a guy he has something of a crush on -- all while still being with that other girl.

I feel thrown off and confused. Are these mixed signals? He kept asking when i would come out to this place, but he also keeps talking about us being just friends. I managed as best I could; I talked to a coach yesterday who said to keep contact with him light and casual, and to not touch on whatever relationship is between us. I don't know if I succeeded in doing that at all, or what to do because he brought it up or what. He seemed fairly high energy, and I tried to act like I was fine and just "whatever".

I've been low energy today while also trying to read some Neville and living from the wish fulfilled. I just feel really weird after this phone conversation. I don't know what to think, especially the way he talked about my body. (And no, I haven't done any RS, really.)

It's just all overwhelming at the moment. And I've been tired and sleeping on and off all day, on top of conflicting emotions, so this is really like "what on earth is going on". Can I please have some help realigning?

Cait11 · 6/20/2018 2:11 pm

Another call.. He asked if i had any crushes and said "Friends help friends chase tail" & I'm thinking "I don't want to be just your friend". He said he showed my picture to his coworkers who said I looked good.

He apologized for pushing me to go out to the club & said it was nice to talk to me yesterday and today. I kept playing the "I'm so sleepy I need to wake up" card to try and be not so responsive. He kept being like "do you have any plans for the weekend? What's on the agenda for today?"

He also said he'd been looking through our old texts for pictures?? And I didn't comment on that but I'm like, why????? And how could he bring them up so casually??

Part of me wants to tell him, "I can't be just friends with you. I still love you and want you romantically. If you change your mind about me, let me know." The other part of me is terrified by that suggestion.

I'm at a loss.

Sunshine&Dreams · 6/20/2018 3:51 pm

That'd leave me feeling confused as well. For now I'll let others provide help, but that makes me think of a video that I heard (an interview) from Agnes Vivarelli. The girl was dealing with her SP and when he came back, he began to talk of wanting to be casual. She worked on self-love videos, visualized him wanting more from her, and finally told him, she wasn't interested in casual. And HE confessed later that week or so that he was the one thought SHE wanted casual which was why he was being that way, lol.

You can watch the entire video here (she has a 2nd interview with the girl too) but this one and that specific moment starts at 26:00 min in if you just want to hear that part - https://youtu.be/xGq3pHKdkYE

Cait11 · 6/20/2018 5:55 pm

I wish it were as simple as that... My ex is currently seeing the other girl, has been from about 1-2 weeks after the breakup. I've been doing rubbing out, but... Idk what to do about all this.

I feel really hopeless and sad. I know that won't help me, so i definitely need help....

fizzy · 6/21/2018 12:38 am

Don’t worry about anything he’s saying or doing and just live in your wish fulfilled. It seems like you are creating partial manifestations of what you want, and that you aren’t creating your desired result because you are stopping to analyze what they may mean. He only reflects back what you project onto him and you are the one who gives meaning to everything. So none of this really matters. Always just live in the end.

Cait11 · 6/23/2018 10:53 pm

fizzy wrote:
Don’t worry about anything he’s saying or doing and just live in your wish fulfilled. It seems like you are creating partial manifestations of what you want, and that you aren’t creating your desired result because you are stopping to analyze what they may mean. He only reflects back what you project onto him and you are the one who gives meaning to everything. So none of this really matters. Always just live in the end.

Thank you, fizzy! I'm taking a page out of Neville's book (literally) and imagining before falling asleep. Last night, it actually felt really good to do! It felt real. I could believe it.

Last edited by Cait11 (6/23/2018 10:56 pm)

fizzy · 6/24/2018 6:11 am

Cait11 wrote:
fizzy wrote:
Don’t worry about anything he’s saying or doing and just live in your wish fulfilled. It seems like you are creating partial manifestations of what you want, and that you aren’t creating your desired result because you are stopping to analyze what they may mean. He only reflects back what you project onto him and you are the one who gives meaning to everything. So none of this really matters. Always just live in the end.

Thank you, fizzy! I'm taking a page out of Neville's book (literally) and imagining before falling asleep. Last night, it actually felt really good to do! It felt real. I could believe it.

Awesome!

Cait11 · 6/25/2018 2:13 am

So tonight my ex and I talked on the phone and it went pretty ok! I wanted to have a good interaction, and i believe we did. The only thing was his current gf kept being brought up once in a while. I didn't really acknowledge her, just stayed the course of the conversation.

Afterwards, my brain went into "Yeah that was great but watch you're friend zoned FOR LIFE" mode. I kept thinking that my ex has been able to completely switch to seeing me only as a friend, despite having been together about 16 months as a couple.

It's quieted down a bit now. I'm going to do my imagining before sleep, imagining us together again and engaged again.

Last edited by Cait11 (6/25/2018 2:18 am)

madone87 · 6/25/2018 6:41 pm

fizzy wrote:
Don’t worry about anything he’s saying or doing and just live in your wish fulfilled. It seems like you are creating partial manifestations of what you want, and that you aren’t creating your desired result because you are stopping to analyze what they may mean. He only reflects back what you project onto him and you are the one who gives meaning to everything. So none of this really matters. Always just live in the end.

Hi Fizzy
Just stop giving meaning to what he says or does in order to live in the wish fulfilled?

fizzy · 6/25/2018 7:05 pm

madone87 wrote:
fizzy wrote:
Don’t worry about anything he’s saying or doing and just live in your wish fulfilled. It seems like you are creating partial manifestations of what you want, and that you aren’t creating your desired result because you are stopping to analyze what they may mean. He only reflects back what you project onto him and you are the one who gives meaning to everything. So none of this really matters. Always just live in the end.

Hi Fizzy
Just stop giving meaning to what he says or does in order to live in the wish fulfilled?

Yes, I’m saying here don’t worry about trying to figure out what things may mean if your desired end result has not manifested yet. All of the weird things that may be happening at the moment could be leading up to your end result and it’s sort of a waste of time to try and figure them out. Just live in your wish fulfilled until you have the full manifestation of it. Everything will sort itself out to give you the result that you want.

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6/19/2018 6:51 pm #1

What do I do?

6/20/2018 2:11 pm #2

Re: What do I do?

6/20/2018 3:51 pm #3

Re: What do I do?

6/20/2018 5:55 pm #4

Re: What do I do?

6/21/2018 12:38 am #5

Re: What do I do?

6/23/2018 10:53 pm #6

Re: What do I do?

fizzy wrote:

6/24/2018 6:11 am #7

Re: What do I do?

Cait11 wrote:

fizzy wrote:

6/25/2018 2:13 am #8

Re: What do I do?

6/25/2018 6:41 pm #9

Re: What do I do?

fizzy wrote:

6/25/2018 7:05 pm #10

Re: What do I do?

madone87 wrote:

fizzy wrote:

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