Athena wrote:

Hi, I'm new :-) I have been reading things on here though & seen some of Veronica's videos.  Got the book Distinct Desires too. 

Here's what's happened.  Although I've had relationships before,  I've had a big 5 plus year gap when there's been nobody nothing serious.  Even though I wanted that.  Anyway, so along came this online guy but he seemed to have more to him than the types of guys I've been meeting.  He seemed to want a relationship with me and although he's as cheeky as the others!  In fact, OK I don't know if he MEANT it, but he basically TOLD me he'd love me to be his girl.

He also seems sweet and romantic too.  Anyway, I was scared to meet him, scared of rejection and before that I put it off one other time cos he's 2 hours from me and I was tired.  Anyway then I really really wanted to meet him, esp. after our second chat on the phone when I realised that yes he DID seem to want a relationship with me.  He even said these lovey dovey things and I was like hang on we haven't met yet! But it was beautiful.

Anyway, so, he's seeing someone else now and I was initially upset because I feel like if I'd not been scared to meet him (scared of rejection not scared that he might be bad!) maybe that would be me!

I went no contact but I did cave and text him recently and he said maybe one day (sexual things) but he also included maybe he'll be holding me and saying he loves me.

I said "Why do I feel like part of you WANTS that?"

And he replied: "Because I do ;-)"

I said I want that too but you keep running off into the sunset with others.  He stopped replying!  

So basically the deal is, he won't cheat because he's not like that, he's seeing how things go with this girl and he's a faithful guy and I wouldn't WANT him to cheat nor would I get involved in THAT but if he's single in the future he still wants to meet me and he said he'll let me know.

I guess as it's not an ex do I have ANY chance at all?  He DOES seem to have feelings for me and yes initially we DID try to meet each other.  But we didn't get to meet or have a relationship, which people wanting to get an ex back DID have. 

So what do I do, guys?  I mean how do I focus here?  I know focusing on ME is the foundation and on self love too, I HAVE been and I will build that up.  But in terms of relationships DO I now go "general" focus on that I just want a relationship with someone I like WHOEVER he is?  Like I do try that but I find it hard to feel feelings when I do that.  When I don't know who he is, so I find it harder to find the feelings how it would feel. 

Of COURSE I'm open to someone brand new coming along.  At the moment there is nobody I want.  He's different from the other guys I've attracted.  But I'm open to someone brand new that I haven't met yet.  But only if I like him at least as much as I like my crush.  And sometimes people say things like "I got someone better but I didn't like him at first" or even that they were repulsed by that person initially!  I don't want that!  I want it to be someone I like at least as much as him, right from the start and he likes me. 

Or DO you think it's possible to attract someone, even if it's a crush you've never met?  

Even if I attract nobody but just get feeling better about it all well that will help.  And I'm not someone with the wonderful friends and job and so on. So if I have to have a perfect life BEFORE I can attract love? Well then I'm screwed.  But I have a sort of bestie who's really cool and I did upgrade my life to a much nicer place to live in terms of better people, near work, near parks.  
Five years is a damn long time to be single, though, when you haven't been wanting to! 

I want to add something.  I do know about some of the things on here including some things about Neville Goddard yes!  And I want to apply them better.  And yes I want to build up the self love.  But also, is it possible I mean my situation really IS different!!??! 

Some people say their situation is different or it is harder (even though I think no it's NOT, you WERE in a relationship with them, and you have that bond!) But my situation really DOES seem different and harder.  But IS it?  Or is this possible too? 

I'm not trying to attract someone against his will either, it seems like part of him at least DOES have feelings for me.  I don't know what would happen if we DID meet.  Initially though, for a while I have felt this strong feeling, instinct that me chickening out of meeting him that time was making the biggest mistake of my life.  But I've stopped saying that now, cos I don't want to manifest that it is.  

How do I focus now when I focus on love?  General? Specific?  Is attracting being in a relationship or one day even marriage if he wants that (even a relationship would be perfect!) even possible in this sort of situation??  



 

Hi Athena,

First of all, everything is possible. So it doesn’t matter whether you’ve had a relationship in the past with a specific person or not — you can still manifest a relationship with them. Your situation isn’t somehow more difficult or unusual because you’ve never dated this guy before. You’d do the same things you would to attract back an ex with him. It’s just that there’s no break up to “get over” in your situation. That’s all.

No, you do not need to have a perfect life before you can manifest love. I do agree that self love is a good foundation before anything, but don’t think you need to be perfect in that either before you manifest love with someone because you don’t.

You can attract a soulmate by focusing on the qualities you want in a lover and not being specific. But, you can also attract this specific guy if that’s what you want. It’s simply a choice.

You aren’t going against anyone’s free will ever by manifesting a relationship with them. This is because the version of that specific person that wants a relationship with you too is the one you manifest that with. So don’t worry about that.

Hope that helps.

Wow, I’m flattered lol! Thank you. And I’m glad I could help It sounds like you realize the parts you need to work on.