ttt0309 wrote:

I've been feeling sad and depressed lately because of a young man I've been engaging in sexual relations with recently.

Nobody can make you feel depressed. You are the only one having power over how you feel by the way you choose to look at things.

ttt0309 wrote:

 Then about a week before my 21st birthday which was last month he started acting differently towards me. He was colder more distant- he gave me a lot of excuses like it was my attitude or that he just wanted to be celibate or that he just wasn't ready for a relationship.

But before that incident you were afraid that something like this would happen or had other negative thoughts about him. It's not that he changed. You changed and he reacted to that.

ttt0309 wrote:

Fast forward to sunday and I found out he had an entire girlfriend and we met up yesterday to talk. Apparently he's been having sex with ALOT of people on campus at the same time but I supposed he just focused on us the most idk.

So do I get this right: He is a serial cheater?

ttt0309 wrote:

Ive been watching a lot of manifesting videos on how to get him back and how to stop hurting which i know is stupid but my life doesn't feel right without him.

The thing is, in order to have any chance to attract him back this has to change and I bet the moment that changes you won't want him anymore.

ttt0309 wrote:

 I feel like I at least am owed an explanation

I can give you the explanation. You create your own reality - entirely.

ttt0309 wrote:

 I haven't texted him for an entire day

An entire day??? You mean like in...24 hours? Wow, that's crazy...
Seriously, this is a degree of neediness that would make everyone run for the hills. I bet there are people in your life you haven't heard from in a long time and you don't crave for their message. Why does it feel like such a big deal to you to not text him for a day? I mean you have to see yourself that you are highly out of balance and that this isn't healthy at all, right?

ttt0309 wrote:

 and I feel like why didn't he see the good in me in all that I did for him why is he treating me like this when I've been nothing but good to him.

Because again you create your reality. Has nothing to do with him whatsoever. It's all about you.

ttt0309 wrote:

If anybody has some advice that can help me get him back please let me know.

I had advice for you to get him back, but I won't give it, because I think it would be highly irresponsible. I personally think that we attract anything in our experience without any expection. But that doesn't mean that we have to put a lot of effort in fixing things that weren't good for us to begin with. You are highly dependent on him, he is nowhere near interested in a relationship with you and uses you as him pleases. You are obviously new to LoA, so it would be really really hard for you to turn this situation around to a healthy, respectful (!!!), loving relationship.
What should be much more interesting is the question of how to get yourself back, because it's so obvious that you lost yourself along the way. LoA isn't a quick fix to make someone love you. And as I said previously, I bet that you wouldn't want him anymore when you have yourself back. Why on earth would you want someone behaving like this until you feel - like you already said - like garbage? If I were you, I would make a huge step back. I would delete his number and focus purely and entirely on myself while dropping him completely for now. That's the healthiest thing you can do for yourself right now. I know, that's nothing you want to hear and you are free to choose to be mad at me, if you like, but in your position, it's really not a good idea to jump into visualising or some other stuff that makes you only obsess even more. And trust me, I am around for a while, have seen a lot of people come, go, fail and obsess.

You have to find your self worth again. For you, not for him. But obviously...who on earth would want to have garbage or even be in a relationship with it? Your external is a reflection of your internal and your internal is clearly messy. So clear up the internal and you will find a guy beyond your wildest dreams who treats you like a queen, promise.

if theres anyone else that would be willing to provide insight please comment back it'd be greatly appreciated. I've stopped contacting him I try to think of only positive things everyday so that we can get back together soon. I've been trying to also keep a positive mindset about a lot of this as well, just so that my vibrations can be in sync with my source. I really am trying so if there is anyone who genuinely would like to help im willing to try anything. 

ttt0309 wrote:

if theres anyone else that would be willing to provide insight please comment back it'd be greatly appreciated. I've stopped contacting him I try to think of only positive things everyday so that we can get back together soon. I've been trying to also keep a positive mindset about a lot of this as well, just so that my vibrations can be in sync with my source. I really am trying so if there is anyone who genuinely would like to help im willing to try anything. 

 
Sanshi has provided a lot of insight for you. I agree with what she has said. I could tell you how to get him back, but I agree with Sanshi that it would be highly irresponsible to do that and that it would be difficult for you to turn this around from your present state.  The best thing you can do for yourself right now is to focus on you and rebuilding your self esteem and self worth and forget about him for the time being. What goes on in the outside world around us comes from within. It is only a reflection of what is going on inside of us, what we project outward.  It could be fears or negative expectations or any number of other things. For example, you could have got the idea that nobody will ever love you or that all men are cheaters or nobody will ever see your worth. This is a good opportunity to ask yourself what it could be in your case. It struck me that the first thing you said was about having a sexual relationship with this person, but without any mention of love or commitment. You don't have to answer me, only yourself, but did you think if you had sex with him that it would make him love you?  It doesn't. In your case, it's probably only made you feel used. Don't put him on a pedestal, put yourself on one. I'm not one of the believers in needing 'self love' to manifest anything, and I don't even like that term, but you need to get your self esteem and self worth back. You are the most important person in your life, not him or anybody else.

ttt0309 wrote:

thanks Cynthia how do you propose I go about doing this? (getting my self-esteem back)

My father was extremely abusive and violent, and I grew up with no self esteem whatsoever and a total lack of self worth. I read a lot of self help books, but what helped me the most and was the most effective was self-hypnosis, both doing it myself, and also listening to recordings. You could do affirmations, and I've done that as well, but self-hypnosis was a lot more effective and a lot easier. My favourites are Glenn Harrold, Barrie St John from selfhypnosis.com, and Dick Sutphen. They all have mp3 downloads as well as physical cds from their respective websites. The first one I ever used that helped me enormously was a video, now on dvd, by Dick Sutphen called Love and Believe in Yourself. I'm a completely different person than I used to be now, I'm very confident, and I'm very secure, but it didn't happen overnight. If I can do it, anybody can do it.
 

ttt0309 wrote:

thank you so much will do my research on these specific people and find which methods work best for me. I appreciate your response. 

You're very welcome. You can do it, and your life will be so much better in so many ways. I must sound like I'm advertising those people, but I don't know them and I don't get anything at all from recommending them except for helping somebody else find some really good and helpful recordings.