1 - Lillith
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- From: Holland, Rotterdam
- Registered: 3/21/2018
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Narcisstic or abuse relationship
i am a litle bit confussed about the law of attrection. Because one is saying like narcistic person do not excist...its you pushed out. Another one is saying they really do excist and they will pick HSPers or spiritueel persons because we are sensitive people. I would really like to know. What your idea about this is . Do they excist and we attract them. Or is it us pushed out (at that moment in the relationship )? This is a very important question. I think for many people. Because a lot of want the narcist back because many abused people think that they are the one to blame it didnt work out. And they want the fairytell in the beginning of that relationship back. Including me :-) ( Iam trying to love myself and want to use the LOA Techniek. Anyways i was needy in that relationship and a co depender..i sorted that out, that part of me is me pushed out, but what does this is saying about him? so can anybody help me?
Last edited by Lillith (3/21/2018 11:11 am)
- Cynthia
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Re: Narcisstic or abuse relationship
What is an HSPers?
The first man to raise a fist is the man who has run out of ideas.
- Lillith
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Re: Narcisstic or abuse relationship
High Sensitive Person :-)
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Thread Starter- fizzy
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Re: Narcisstic or abuse relationship
People are always you pushed out. To change how a person is, change what you believe to be true about them.
- Sanshi
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Re: Narcisstic or abuse relationship
I wouldn't keep telling the HSP story. I did that myself in the past and my mother still tries to convince me how important it is to acknowledge that. I decided against it and I do feel a lot better it since I dropped it. Sure, I have still beliefs about how I have less filters and am more sensitive to stimuli..but seriously, how can I even know? I won't ever be able to experience how another person experience all of that. It's just a lable you put on yourself. I am a believer in being able to become the person that I want and that can't go together with the belief that I can lable people in a certain way.
To be honest, I wouldn't go for a narcisst. You have already strong beliefs about such a person and even if you are able to completely shift your image of them, there is still the risk that you look at the changed version of them and are afraid that they will fall back or wonder how long it will take until they act "normal" again. I know for myself that this is right now more than I would be able to accomplish and I am practising for over 2 years now. If you think you can focus on a great version of them constantly without ever looking back, then go for it.
"Self-abandonment. That is the secret. We have to abandon ourselves to the state, in our love for the state, and in so doing live the life of the state and no more our present state. And to make the state alive, one must become it."
Neville Goddard ~ The Law and the Promise
- sillyromantic
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Re: Narcisstic or abuse relationship
Strange that this discussion showed up. I've actually been doing a lot of reading/watching videos about narcissist and narcissist abuse in the last couple of weeks because I believe that my ex is one of those people. I'm also an empath, which they claim to attract those kind of people often. I don't believe that it was all only me pushed out because other people have been noticing his behavior and pointing it out and I didn't know anything about narcissist disorder when I was still with this person. I do believe that I created and attracted this relationship due to my low state of mind when we met. I'm now working on healing myself and focusing on myself more so I can attract a much more stable and respectful relationship next time. It's taken me almost a year to come to terms with everything but I've become so much wiser and stronger because of that relationship and how badly it ended.
If you believe that this person is a narcissist my advice for you would be to run away as fast as you can to save you from further hurt. These people are like empty vessels and they will mirror you to make you like them and suck everything out of you before they get bored and find their next victim.
- fizzy
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Re: Narcisstic or abuse relationship
sillyromantic wrote:
If you believe that this person is a narcissist my advice for you would be to run away as fast as you can to save you from further hurt. These people are like empty vessels and they will mirror you to make you like them and suck everything out of you before they get bored and find their next victim.
This advice is good only if you choose to continue to believe that the person is a “narcissist”. Otherwise you can just change your beliefs about them.
- sillyromantic
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Re: Narcisstic or abuse relationship
This advice is good only if you choose to continue to believe that the person is a “narcissist”. Otherwise you can just change your beliefs about them.
I think what I'm saying is that if that person has treated you in such a way, is it really worth your time and energy trying to see them differently when you can invest your energy into attracting a relationship with a person who already appears to be balanced and can experience empathy? I feel like we are often getting stuck on the idea of someone instead of seeing the big picture. I know that everyone has a different opinion on this subject but in my experience when many people observe and acknowledge a behavior pattern or personality disorder in a person its no longer just your perception of their personality.
- fizzy
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Re: Narcisstic or abuse relationship
I think what I'm saying is that if that person has treated you in such a way, is it really worth your time and energy trying to see them differently when you can invest your energy into attracting a relationship with a person who already appears to be balanced and can experience empathy? I feel like we are often getting stuck on the idea of someone instead of seeing the big picture. I know that everyone has a different opinion on this subject but in my experience when many people observe and acknowledge a behavior pattern or personality disorder in a person its no longer just your perception of their personality.
Well, my opinion is if your perception of a person is that they have a personality disorder and other people are noticing the same thing, then those other people are just confirming your beliefs. Just like the person with the disorder is doing. Everybody is your perception of them, not just that one person.
But yes, if you don’t want to put the time and energy into changing your image of them, I agree that it’s probably better to just move on.
- sillyromantic
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Re: Narcisstic or abuse relationship
Like I said, I'm not trying to change anyone's opinion on the topic, simply stating my own :-) since some people are chemically imbalanced I find it hard to believe that there is no such thing as personality disorder, but that is for a whole different topic I suppose. I believe that this person also has low value of himself and limiting beliefs from childhood and past relationships, which were "pushed out" on me in the relationship, and in return made me behave a certain way around him which I don't around other people so it makes sense.
Veronica Isles LOA coach veronicaislescoaching.com